Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Godismystrength, Feb 13, 2013.

  1. I just found out that my dad's pathology for his kidney tumor isn't so good... 40% of the tumor was clear cell renal carcinoma, which is what they expected... however, 60% of the tumor was a sarcoma type of cancer that is a more aggressive type of cancer. They also found a hard nodule that wasn't attached to the kidney that was also sarcoma, which they removed. Since this is such an unusual situation, they've sent the kidney on to the Univ. of Florida for further analysis. My dad has to wait 4 weeks to get a PET scan to see if there is any cancer left in his body.

    My family held off telling me because they know how ill I've been... and unfortunately, I am still in pretty bad shape... will prob have to get to Urgent Care later today... feel like I have strep and that all my symptoms of M.E. and fibro are off the charts as my body is in a tailspin/downward spiral. Needless to say, I need your prayers more than ever. I am trying to stay calm about my dad's situation and trust the Lord... but the news is unsettling to say the least...

    I also just found out yesterday that my youngest daughter, who is still in college, will be getting engaged this Friday. Her boyfriend of 2 years met my husband for lunch to ask for his/our blessing. And while I want to be excited for my daughter, I am just feeling sad right now. Her boyfriend, while polite, doesn't seem to care for our family. I'm sure my ME/CFS doesn't help with that situation.

    Also, I have been esp close with my youngest daughter her entire life... and it has been hard to have her away from home at college for roughly 3 years now... and since her boyfriend's family live in the same town as the college (her boyfriend lives at home and went to the same college)... she has become very close to his family, and I can't help but feel that instead of gaining a son, we are losing a daughter...

    And while I know there is nothing I can do about any of this, I still can't help but feel sad. I have already lost so much from this DD, and it just seems that the "losses" keep coming. If not for this DD, I feel like her boyfriend would enjoy being with our family more. I was always "the life" of our family till this disease slowly incapacitated me more and more. Hospitality was always one of my gifts, but that has been taken from me for a while now as my limitations became worse and worse.

    Also, my daughter who lives in England will be coming for a visit the first week of March, which also happens to be my youngest daughter's spring break so she will be home too. And if I am still doing this bad, I won't even be able to enjoy their visits. It usually drains me terribly. And the internal conflict of what I WANT to do and what I CAN do, usually drains me even more. Plus, my oldest daughter's personality can be abrasive at times, which is not good for my condition. I love her to death, but she can be more draining than others.

    Sometimes I wish I could go away somewhere, in complete solitude, and try to get well and strong again (which is ironic since this DD has caused me more solitude than I care for!) Does anyone else feel that way sometimes? With M.E., our bodies are not able to handle stress as healthy bodies can. Of course, no one likes stress, but our bodies lack the physiological ability (due to adrenal and nervous system dysfunction) to deal with stress so our bodies just get sicker and we have to deal with all these symptoms! Its all too much for me to process right now...

    Also, my youngest daughter's boyfriend wants us to meet up with them Friday (along with his parents and grandparents)
    after he asks her to marry him, to celebrate. Unfortunately, my health won't allow that right now (unless a miracle happens)... so I am very sad to have to miss something this important to my daughter...

    Please pray with me about all this... and that somehow, the Lord can help turn my sadness into joy... for my daughter's sake, at least...

    Blessings and Gentle Hugs,

    [This Message was Edited on 02/13/2013]
    [This Message was Edited on 02/21/2013]
  2. sunflowergirl

    sunflowergirl Well-Known Member

    Early this morning I realized we hadn't heard from you lately and I was going to post, so I'm surprised to find this.

    First off, I will pray for your dad, but also for your whole family. Believe me when I say I understand everything you're feeling emotionally and physically.

    Good idea, getting to urgent care. It's probably gone into strep, ear infection, or sinus and at this point you need some strong antibiotics to knock it out.

    I have 3 grown children who I love dearly. My oldest unmarried son lives in Oregon. We are close, but perhaps not. He has his troubles and can get very manipulative/ demanding when he wants something. He comes home at christmas and for 3 times in a row I've spent the week plus walking on egg shells and crying in my alone times.

    My youngest son married 4 years ago. I never cared for his wife who is very cold. In the 4 years she has managed to extricate him from his family and friends he had before getting married. I even asked her 2 weeks ago if I did anything to hurt her.....that I apologize and want us to be closer. Not a good move on my part apparently. She got very arrogant (she usually is) and said she felt everything was fine. I called my son the next day to talk a little more, he of course wanted to know why I was attacking her! WHAT? Things went bad and I had to hang up. I've still hurt (past the angry stage) and have turned EVERYTHING over to God. I can't do everything and stress is a killer. By the way, I didn't gain a daughter I LOST my son 4 years ago.

    I'm so very, very sorry for everything you're going thru. I wish I could just put an arm around you and give you a hug. Know that I understand and do care about your suffering.

    By the way, very, very few people understand the term....CFS. Even a close friend who has overcome lupus recently told me to just have a plan everyday and do things.....get out.....etc. I had to remind her of how she felt when she hurt and had fatigue all the time. How quickly people forget.

    By the way........since when does FB stuff appear between posts????? I got this message that 3 people want to friend me....just click here. I don't go to FB at all, and I find this annoying.[This Message was Edited on 02/13/2013]
  3. ... I appreciate your support and sharing your experiences more than I can say!

    I'm still struggling physically (what else is new, right?)... wasn't able to get to urgent care yesterday because my husband had to work late and I wasn't feeling strong enough to drive myself. But I've taken Nyquil the last 2 nights and slept better last night than I have in a while... so I am thankful for that!

    I've also been doing my home remedies which seem to be helping. One thing is that after doing the netty pot each night, I swab the back of my throat with DMSO (inside of nose too). It's suppose to kill some strains of bacteria and viruses. An alternative medicine doc put me on this many years ago... and 9 out of 10 times it works. Don't know why it took longer this time... Maybe because I forgot to swab inside of nose too until night before last... I don't know. But at least my throat isn't killing me like it was... thank God!

    Sunflowergirl, thank you for your warm and caring words! I'm so sorry for what you're dealing with with your son and daughter-in-law! I know how deep the hurt goes... but continue to pray about it and give it to the Lord. Sounds like you tried to come to an understanding with your daughter-in-law but she misunderstood your intentions. So sorry about that! I know how maddening that must be!

    Some folks balk at any type of confrontation... no matter how gentle it is. I will pray for God to heal and restore your relationship with your son and to soften your daughter-in-law's heart towards you.

    I was reading yesterday about all the aspects of God's grace to us and how He calls us to extend that same grace to one another... even those that are hard to love... or even like for that matter! Not easy..... but with God's help, we can do it!

    There's a Proverb that says "soft words breaks hard bones"... which means the same thing as the old saying "kill'em with kindness"... so while I pray about all this, I will choose to do that.... and extend grace to my future son-in-law. As I said, I don't think this would even be an issue if not for my ME/CFS, which seems so unfair. But I will look to the Lord for what I can do to help him feel welcome and comfortable in our family... not easy when there have been times he's been here and I was bedridden and too weak to even go out to see him.... while I HATE that, there is nothing I can do except pray about it and try to make it up to him when I DO have some energy and strength.

    Jam, I'm sorry things had to end up in divorce for your child... but it sounds like you handled things wisely while they were married by "butting out". I'm sure that wasn't easy at times. But I'm glad to hear that your relationship was restored.

    Being a parent sure isn't easy, is it? I always knew it would be hard to let them go when it was time to leave the nest... just didn't realize it would be THIS hard. There's just been too many transitions in a very short period of time in our family.... But I will keeping looking to God for strength and guidance.

    Thanks again, Jam and Sunflowergirl, for caring... Y'all are blessings!

    Blessings and Gentle Hugs,

    [This Message was Edited on 02/14/2013]
  4. deepak

    deepak Member

    am keeping you and your dad in my prayers.

    Leave the worries to God ok.


  5. gb66

    gb66 Well-Known Member

    I hope you're feeling a little better today. I know you can't help but worry about your dad. It does sound like he's getting excellent medical care. The waiting is the hardest part.

    Is he going to be on chemo or radiation treatments in the meantime? I mentioned in another post that my cousin and his wife were both undergoing cancer treatments. I saw her picture today on FB and she had a big smile on her face. Her hair is starting to grow back and she was showing off her new 'do'.

    It's good to see her smiling. Sometimes family is a blessing and sometimes a burden. My grown kids give me grief about my being ill too. It's really hard to deal with 'cause it hurts my feelings so much.

    I've missed so many family celebrations I can't count them. The last time I saw most of my kids, grandkids, and ggrandkids was 6 years ago at my daughter's wedding. This was the last function I could attend.

    It's a lonely life but I'm too sick to deal with much of anything, so I know how you feel. Our family members can't imagine being this ill so I guess it's no wonder they don't get it.

    I'm praying for all of you. How's your mom doing?
    Hugs, GB66

  6. .... need them more than ever... Just found out last night that the first pathology has some bad news... Looks like stage 4 renal sarcoma which is a very rare and agressive cancer. He has to have a PET scan today and a bone and brain scan Tuesday. If they find that it has spread, he will be referred to M.D. Anderson in Houston.

    I know that God is in control, but this news is still very upsetting. In spite of my illness, I have always been very close to my dad. Out of my entire family, he has seemed to care the most and has been such a blessing whenever we're together... even though those times have been few and far between because of my poor health.

    He was not the best dad when I was growing up... far from it... but in my 20's, God was able to give me an unconditional love for my dad that has grown stronger over the years... My dad is only 71... I can't imagine losing him any time soon. Please pray with me for a miracle! I've been too weak to even see my dad since he was in the hospital 2 weeks ago...

    On top of that, my youngest daughter, (who I am esp close to) will be getting engaged tonight and there will be a celebration about an hour away that I'm not sure I can get to... unless God infuses me with supernatural strength (which I know CAN happen)... but I am heartsick at the prospect of NOT getting to be there...

    ...and I am heartsick over my dad's situation as well... So please pray with me about all this... I am still not doing well and all this added stress isn't helping matters...

    Thank you for your support and caring and prayers... It means more than you know... God bless you...

    Blessings and Gentle Hugs,
    [This Message was Edited on 02/15/2013]
  7. ... I truly appreciate your prayers and support... Life has def been challenging for a while now... But looking to God for strength and peace in the midst of it all...

    My dad should know the results of the first scan on Tuesday... I will keep y'all posted...

    Thanks again, Leah! You are a blessing... God bless you!

    Blessings and Gentle Hugs,
  8. Saoirse3

    Saoirse3 Member

    I am so sorry you are going through this. I am, in a different way. Miserable SOL abducted my grandson, but we got him back. Now he is stalking us. I believed in gun control until I met him. But my one commandment says "If it harm none, do as you will." Hardest thing to ball your fists up and walk away, but it's what I must. And have trust in God to handle it. My kids don't like each other much and I am the sounding board. My stress levels are off the charts and my blood chemistry is a mess. Plus they found a lump on my thyroid. So got a get THAT checked out. The only thing that fills my with joy is the birds I help rehab. I have so much love for them. People think animals don't understand. They do indeed. It may sound ridiculous, but on my birthday a raven left one white rose on my car. No big deal. Except that it's February in Alaska.
    I don't ask. I just accept.

    Soft hugs,

  9. MicheleK

    MicheleK Member

    Shel, I am so sorry to hear that your father's test results came back with such bad news.

    Reading your post brought tears to my eyes. I lost my dad a couple years ago and he too was supportive of me with this DD and we had always been quite close.

    I hope there is something they can do to help him.

    I hope you were able to make an appearance at your daughter's engagement. We miss so many important things and it is heartbreaking at times.

  10. ... for your support and prayers... It means more than you know!

    Stacey and GB66, I hope y'all don't mind if I respond separately to what each of you wrote in separate posts... My memory isn't so good and I sometimes have to refer back to what you wrote so I can respond...

    But first, let me say that miracles DO still happen! Yes, Michele, I WAS able to get to my daughter's engagement! So THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR PRAYERS! I suddenly had a little bit of energy around 3:00 yesterday afternoon, so I started to get ready (very slowly... Praying the whole time... And very aware that at any point my body could run out of energy... Like a battery going dead)... So I was depending on The Lord every step of the way...

    And, praise God, I was able to make it. And I'm so glad I did because when my daughter walked in and saw me, she burst into tears and hugged me tighter and longer than usual... It brought tears to my eyes as well! She knew how badly I had been doing so I know she was shocked to see me sitting there. I can't thank y'all enough for your prayers... And I can't thank God enough for enabling me to get there! It helps make up for all the other important things I've had to miss over the years... So, so thankful!

    Michele, I am so sorry for the loss of your dad two years ago and the pain that you feel from missing him. Wish i could give you a big hug... We lost my dad's mom 2 years ago this May, and I was esp close to her as well. She even lived with me for a time after she lost everything in Hurricane Katrina. The loss of my grandmother crushed me... And for a while, right after she passed, I had to put away the framed pictures I had of her in my home because they just made me cry every time I saw them.

    And of course, I feel the same way about my dad... That's why this is so hard. But I'm trusting The Lord with this, just as I have all along... And ask for your continued prayers for his healing and restoration.

    Yes, God still performs miracles! And I am hoping and praying for another one for my Dad. Thank you all again, so much, for your continued prayers and support... You have blessed and encouraged me. God bless each of you!

    And Michele, I'm still praying for you... Let me know how you're doing..
    (Stacey and GB66, I will be responding to each of you separately... Thanks again!)

    Blessings and Gentle Hugs,
    [This Message was Edited on 02/16/2013]
  11. ... I was so overwhelmed with the upsetting news I had received about my dad a few days ago, that I never really had a chance to respond to your kind and caring post.

    You are so right when you say that the waiting is the hardest part... But I'm leaning on The Lord for help with that too!

    As far as I know, he will not be receiving chemo or radiation unless the scans show more evidence of cancer in his body. But we're praying his scans come back clear. We'll know the results of his first scan, which he had yesterday, on Tuesday when he goes for the scans of his brain and bones. Praying for good news!

    I'm so sorry to hear that your cousin and his wife are dealing with cancer as well... But it is encouraging to hear that your cousin's wife, at least, is coming through it well.

    And I'm so sorry to hear that your grown kids give you grief about your illness. It's so unfair! We suffer enough without others adding to the suffering! I'm so sorry you have to deal with that! And my heart goes out to you when you speak of all the family celebrations you've had to miss. It is heartbreaking... And, sadly, something that most, if not all, of us with ME/CFS can relate to...

    It IS a lonely life, but God wants to be our constant Companion... Which allows us the chance to have a MUCH closer relationship with Him than those with active lives. I know I wouldn't have near as close a relationship with The Lord if I had stayed as active as I was... So that is a blessing I am very thankful for... An example of how God can "bring beauty out of ashes"...

    Thank you so much for your prayers, GB66! And my mom is doing o.k.... My Dad is so thankful for her... He said that he doesn't know what he'd do without her... They are both leaning on The Lord as well... My mom isn't in the best of health herself, but she is not disabled, thankfully.

    Thanks again for caring, GB66! God bless you!

    Blessings and Gentle Hugs,
  12. sunflowergirl

    sunflowergirl Well-Known Member

    A special day for the whole family. I thought about you all day yesterday. Praying for a miracle for your dad......and you too.
  13. Your son-in-law (I'm assuming that's what SOL stands for) abducted your grandson and is stalking y'all now?! No wonder your stress levels are off the charts! I'm so glad y'all got your grandson back! But wow, my heart goes out to you... I will def be praying for you on this! I thought there were laws against stalking? Can't he be arrested for that? (If they can catch him, right?)

    And a lump on your thyroid too?! I'm so sorry you're having to deal with so much! I had a lump on my thyroid years ago, so I know what you're dealing with. My sister had one too, years after me, and hers was benign. Have they done a needle biopsy yet? It's really not bad at all... Please keep me posted... I will be glad to encourage you any way I can! I will def be praying about this as well!

    I'm so glad you get to work with birds! That should be a good stress reliever, I'm thinking! I LOVE birds SO much! I would love to be able to do something like that! Where do you do the rehab? One of my joys is to get to watch the birds at the feeder outside my window. I ran out of bird seed a while ago and my husband keeps forgetting to run by and get me some more, so I've missed my birds for weeks now!

    But he's bringing me some bird seed today, so I hope they'll notice the full feeder and come back... It brings me so much joy just watching them, that I can imagine the joy it must bring you to get to help them! So happy for you, Stacey! You need that blessing in the midst of so much turmoil!

    And that is AMAZING that a raven left you a rose on your car on your birthday! And in February... In Alaska, no less! God is good, Stacey! God used that raven as his messenger to bring you His gift of encouragement on your birthday! How wonderful! God never ceases to amaze me! His love for us is astounding!

    Btw, what part of Alaska? I have a niece that lives there with her husband who is stationed there with the Army. They're in Eagle River... (I've always dreamed of visiting Alaska! So beautiful there! Don't know if I'll ever make it though)

    Thanks again, Stacey, for your prayers and encouragement! I'm praying for you as well! God bless you!

    Blessings and Gentle Hugs,
  14. You are so kind and thoughtful! It wasn't actually the whole family... Just me , my husband and youngest son... My oldest two are very far away with the Air Force. And my mom and dad were invited, but my dad wasn't well enough to go. But even so, it WAS a special time... A blessing I am SO thankful for!

    Thanks again so much, Sunflowergirl, for your continued prayers for my Dad! I will keep you posted! Hope you are feeling better lately... God bless you!

    Blessings and Gentle Hugs,
  15. ... I'm just wanting to make sure y'all had a chance to see my responses from yesterday to your thoughtful posts... Let me know... Thanks again for your prayers... God bless you all...

    Blessings and Gentle Hugs,
  16. My dad's scans so far have come back clear of cancer! I can't thank all of you enough for your prayers! He has a couple more tests to undergo, so please keep praying with me for continued good news... The power of prayer is an awesome thing... I thank you from the bottom of my heart... But...

    ...I haven't been doing well... Much worse than usual... Don't know what's going on or what has changed to cause this continued downward turn, but I am very discouraged right now and fed up with my situation...

    While I am thankful and praising God for the good news regarding my dad's situation (and so relieved!)... I have been struggling terribly since the weekend and have gotten to the end of my rope... Just don't know how much more I can take of this... I'm angry, sad to the point of tears, and fed up... My condition is going in the wrong direction again... I don't even think I'm taking the right supps in the right amounts which is prob adding to my problems...

    As soon as I am able, I'm going to have to list what I take and ask for Ian's and the rest of your input and help...

    Thanks again for your prayers...


  17. gb66

    gb66 Well-Known Member

    I'm so happy to hear the news about your dad. It's great. I know how relieved you all must be.

    Sorry that you're feeling so rotten, though. I would imagine that it's all the stress you've had with your dad's illness. That would be hard on a healthy person.

    You said your condition is going in the wrong direction again. Have you been getting better up to now? I can't remember. My CFS/FM has gotten progressively worse since the beginning, 34 years ago so I don't know about remissions with this.

    I hope you can rest and start to feel better soon. Great news about the cancer though. GB66
  18. SherylS

    SherylS Member

    we just bombard our bodies with too much and it can't handle it anymore. If I really start to go downhill, I stop taking everything and just let my body rest and get it all out of my system. I don't know what prescriptions you might take, but you can't always just stop those. But usually vitamins and sups can be dropped for awhile. Run everything by Ian, he is a wealth of great info! Also, I know adding potassium and magnesium can make a big difference
  19. sunflowergirl

    sunflowergirl Well-Known Member

    but......not for your poor body. I do know that STRESS, big time like you've been having, can really do a # on us. We all take whatever we've heard is recommended, and then nothing helps us. Start a new post specifically asking Ian what you should be taking.

    I don't think I have CFS....just the fatigue that comes with FM.....if in fact that's what I've got. I do know when the bad fatigue hits I'm feeling desperate for energy just to walk around.

    I'm going to post something on the worship board, so check it out when you get a chance.

    Take care and heal your spirit.
  20. ... I'm sure that stress is part of it... I'm still struggling with severe sore throat, cough and mucus... I thought I was over it but its come back with a vengeance... Just so sick of it all...

    GB66, I had gotten a boost when I started the d-ribose and glycine weeks ago... But it didn't last long...

    Sheryl, I do think I am prob low in potassium and need to supplement with it... I already take magnesium, so I should be good with that... But thank you for the suggestion...

    Sunflowergirl, I do plan to write a post to Ian regarding my supps... I take so many that it will take a while to list them all... But thank you for suggesting that... and I will def checkout your post on the worship board as soon as I can...

    Thanks again to all of you for caring and for your prayers...