trying to sleep.....

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by HeavenlyRN, Mar 28, 2010.

  1. HeavenlyRN

    HeavenlyRN New Member

    ....but having another one of those nights. It's 1:55 am and I feel like it's 1:55 pm. Just can't seem to get comfortable - no matter what position I try.

    Had another crying spell tonight. It was one of those "I don't think I can do this any more" kind. I know I should be thankful for what I do have - a loving husband and children, a roof over my head, food in the cupboards - but I just can't stand the day to day existence of wondering whether we will have enough money to last us until my next disability check (we usually don't).

    I ache ALL OVER tonight. I know that there will never be an "end" to this DD but I just want to feel better. I want to be able to walk without being all hunched over. I want to be able to reach for something without a searing pain in my thumb joint. I want to be able to take my dog for a walk and not come home in so much pain that I'm laying on the bed rolling back and forth clutching my hip and screaming in pain.

    I'm really sorry to write a post like this. No one wants to hear about how awful it is for me when lots of people are worse off than me. But my DH is sound asleep and I'm sure he's sick of hearing about it anyway. There's no one else I can "talk" to right now, so you guys are the unfortunate beneficiaries of my pity party.

    Probably in 36 hours I'll be feeling somewhat better and I'll be embarrassed that I even wrote this post.

    Thanks for listening.


  2. victoria

    victoria New Member

    so sorry you're still up and in pain and upset overall.

    I really hope that you can find a 'good doctor' who can help you manage the pain... and that the finances work out a bit easier. I know, the money on top of the pain doesn't help anything, the stress just seems to make everything worse. It's hard sometimes to 'feel' that things will be ok when we're in that state....

    I don't know what to say to help, except know that you're not alone... hope you can get some rest tonight. Take care...

    (I'm about to try to lay down, hoping my stomach's calmed down enough by now... ate something that didn't really agree with me - aspirin - tho it helped my neck earlier. Seems like there's always a choice to make, which is worst of 2 evils sometimes.)

  3. Beadlady

    Beadlady Member

    sorry to hear you are having a bad night. I totally understand as I have alot of them myself.

    Sending you prayers and hugs that you will feel better soon.
  4. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Know whatcha mean! I'm sick of these DDs too. And sick of not having a "Reply" button.
    Turned off the computer for a couple hours. That solved the "Reply" problem; at least
    for a while.

    I think it's therapeutic for folks to come here and vent. Most of us don't seem to have
    friends or relatives who are receptive to listening. They keep telling us we'd be just
    fine if we'd just: get some exercise, get married, get divorced, join clubs, get a
    job, quit our job, stop taking meds, etc., ad nauseum.

    No need to be embarrassed. It's true we have things to be thankful for, but it's
    also true that we have more than a fair share of misery.

    Hope ya feel better soon.

  5. HeavenlyRN

    HeavenlyRN New Member

    ....for your kind words. At least I don't feel like a complete jerk this morning.

    Yes, it was therapeutic for me to write that. And, it also made me realize that I have to take some action on my own if I am going to feel better. I can't just expect everyone to come to my rescue with meds, etc.

    My diet is horrible and I've been drinking too much soda. I can't do much about the exercise thing because every time I attempt to walk, even for 10 minutes, I get that pain in my hip. So, I guess I'll just have to walk for 5 minutes a few times a day instead of a 15 minute walk all at the same time.

    I think I've been just sort of laying back (literally) expecting everyone else to make me feel better. I've got to get out of this rut.

    OK....enough of that. Thanks again to those of you who replied. I appreciate the understanding.

    Jan - the droopy drawered night owl!!