Twas the Night Before Christmas (Dieter's Version)

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by jaltair, Dec 24, 2005.

  1. jaltair

    jaltair New Member

    Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips
    were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips.
    Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care
    In hopes that my thighs would forget they were there.

    While Mama in her my girdle and I in chin straps
    Had just settled down to sugar-borne naps.
    When out in the pantry there arose such a clatter
    I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

    Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash
    Tore open the icebox then threw up the sash.
    The marshmallow look of the new-fallen snow
    Sent thoughts of a binge to my body below.

    When what to my wandering eyes should appear:
    A marzipan Santa with eight chocolate reindeer!
    That huge chunk of candy so luscious and slick
    I knew in a second that I'd wind up sick.

    The sweet-coated santa, those sugared reindeer
    I closed my eyes tightly but still I could hear;
    On Pritzker, on Stillman, on weak one, on TOPS
    A Weight Watcher dropout from sugar detox.

    From the top of the scales to the top of the hall
    Now dash away pounds now dash away all.
    Dressed up in Lane Bryant from my head to nightdress
    My clothes were all bulging from too much excess.

    My droll little mouth and my round little belly
    They shook when I laughed like a bowl full of jelly.
    I spoke not a word but went straight to my work
    Ate all of the candy then turned with a jerk.

    And laying a finger beside my heartburn
    I gave a quick nod toward the bedroom I turned.
    I eased into bed, to the heavens I cry
    If temptation's removed I'll get thin by and by.

    And I mumbled again as I turned for the night
    In the morning I'll starve... 'til I take that first bite!
    * * * * *

    And to all a good night!

    Warm holiday wishes, Jeannette
  2. dononagin

    dononagin New Member

    There have been far too many holiday goodies in my office.. I think I'm ready for that 8 week challange on discovery health!

    I hadn't seen that version.. cute!

    Thanks Jeannette and hope you had a great holiday as well..