'Twas the Week After Christmas: just in time for NY's RESOLUTIONS

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by victoria, Dec 30, 2006.

  1. victoria

    victoria New Member

    (I think this could also be aka "Commiserada"...)

    'Twas the week after Christmas, and all through the house
    Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
    The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
    At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

    When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
    When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
    I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
    The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

    The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
    And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."
    As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
    And prepared once again to do battle with dirt---

    I said to myself, as I only can
    "You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"
    So--away with the last of the sour cream dip,
    Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip

    Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
    "Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
    I won't have a cookie--not even a lick.
    I'll wa nt only to chew on a long celery stick.

    I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
    I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
    I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore---
    But isn't that what January is for?

    Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
    Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

    Hope we ALL have a HAPPIER NEW YEAR!

  2. alaska3355

    alaska3355 New Member

    Did you write that yourself? I could really relate to some of those downfalls.......
  3. victoria

    victoria New Member

    I wish I were that talented...!!!

    Thanks, it sure fits me to a 'tee'!!! too!

  4. ckball

    ckball New Member

    Thanks for the reality check. I didn't do too bad but I had cookies and ice cream for m Christmas dinner. Perk from living alone.

    It was the 20 one pound bags of White chocolate M & M's I have bought over the last 2 months that did me in,lol.

    So glad they are a special edition, I was totally addicted to them.

    Now for a new healthier year, I need to walk to dogs more often, that is all I am going to start with.

    Thanks for sharing- I hope you and you family have a great new year.

    BTW_ any decorating going on-Carla
  5. victoria

    victoria New Member

    excellent exercise! My dogs love it when I go out with them, altho I don't need to put them on a leash thankfully... one of them actually heels even tho he's never been taught, just cuz he's happy I'm outside with him!

    Nope no decorating JUST yet... just have to wait out a couple more weeks. Our RE contract is up then, and then we will have to make the decision whether or not to keep it on the market or plan on living here for a few more years... in which case I'll be getting some estimates post-haste, LOL!


  6. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    The author did a good job w/ rhyme and meter.

    Here's a true story on this topic. At least that's what I read.

    "Mother, what are you eating?"

    "Chocolate syrup."

    "Well, for goodness sake. I thought you said you were on a diet."

    "I am. I left out the ice cream."
  7. victoria

    victoria New Member

    cute Rockgor! Along the same lines:

    I'm on a seafood diet...
    ...when I see food, I eat it.

    somebody sent me this:

    Strict is my diet. I must not want.
    It maketh me to lie down at night hungry.
    It leadeth me past the confectioners.
    It trieth my willpower.
    It leadeth me in the paths of alteration
    for my figure's sake.
    Yea, though I walk through the aisles
    of the pastry department, I will
    buy no sweetrolls for they are
    The cakes and the pies, they tempt me.
    Before me is a table set with green beans
    and lettuce.
    I filleth my stomach with liquids,
    My day's quota runneth over.
    Surely calorie and weight charts will
    follow me all the days of my life,
    And I will dwell in the fear of scales forever.

    And also this:

    The loud repercussions
    of diet discussions
    Can set you to groaning aloud

    By raising the issue
    of adipose tissue
    With which you feel over endowed.

    You determine to lose,
    but which method to use?
    They're all couched in such intricate terms

    That you long to get hold
    of those wise men of old
    Who sponsored the Diet of Worms. . .

    Sorry to say I don't know who wrote any of these clever poems/rhymes...