two deaths this weekend, prayers 4 families....

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by aintasgoodasIoncewas, Mar 23, 2009.

  1. Hi all,

    I just wanted to ask for prayers for some friends & family.

    My great-aunt Laura, passed Friday I believe, at 81, of pancreatic cancer, my dad said she went fast (she was diagnosed quite a while ago, actually) My dad was adding a room onto her house, as early back as the winter time... He had told me *then* that she had cancer, but, that she was still driving herself, etc, and that he was adding a room onto her house.

    It was her time, and, of course you always HOPE the person passes quickly, and without pain.

    Second, on Saturday morning, a friend of me & hubby's lost his mother, to a very long illness, with ovarian cancer- she fought it for OVER SIX YEARS!

    Whatever type it was, they had told her (as far as the rest of her body, I guess, i.e. the liver) it was 'slow growing'. She had had countless surgeries, though, through the years, they'd removed much of her colon, all the lymph nodes, etc in the pelvic/bowel area, etc..

    This woman, was 61 years old, and had retired from the hospital after *36* years, as an X-ray technician.

    She just took a very rapid dip last week, by thursday, hospice care put a pain pump in, and gave her 2 days to live, and 2 days is what she lived...

    She has a son(married) and a daughter (married), and four wonderful grandchildren. She wasn't really expected to live to see her son's wedding 4 years ago, and then she lived to see her first grand-daughter born (3rd grandchild), and then she made it to see her fourth and final grandchild born, the first male to carry on the family last name...

    So, u can see she, or her body were certainly fighter(s)... and she passed as many milestones as anyone could ever hope for, and beyond, with her type of cancer...

    But, her passing, is hitting her two children & their spouses very very hard... sometimes even though you have time to prepare.... time starts to give hope.. maybe... or given enough times, and seeing enough 'lows' pulled out of....I think sometimes your mind begins to put death away for a while...

    since when it finally *was* her time... it did go quick, (days, and, thankfully, she really didn't wake up much at all, after the pain pump was put in...)and she passed away in her home, not a hospital/hospice environment .... I know things were as good for her, as she could have hoped... I just hope her kids can get through this ok, she also had everything already arranged for them, they only had to pick out the casket, the money was already there.

    Being that both of *them* have kids....I think that's just one of life's ways of kind of *forcing* us to move on...

    this whole thing is just a little hard on the family... they all live on the same large, large 'plot' of land, her house is the first one, then the daughter her husband, and two sons are down the lane, and the son (hubby's friend) lives at the end of the lane.. with his wife, and their 34 month old daughter, and 8 month old son..

    So, if you could, just say a prayer, for Aaron & Michelle, and their spouses, to get through their mother's passing. Hubby is one of the pallbearers, along with Aaron's other close knit friends, from high school.. Our church will be hosting the lunch, after the burial, on Wednesday...

    Thanks all, love..

  2. about this friend of my husbands, who just lost his mother, also, lost his father, due to a heart attack, when he was still in high school (15 yrs old, I believe)..

    So, I know we all lose our parents, and, that that is the way it is *supposed* to be... parents aren't *supposed* to bury their child(children)... but, to lose a parent at 15... I can't imagine, and, I know it doesn't matter how old you are, you're never ready to lose a parent.

    My mother turns 61 in June... and I'm terrified of the day we will lose her.. my sister and I will never be ready, we know that... we are just so close.

    Heck, with my illness, essentially, in some ways, 'stunting', my emotional growth, (having gotten sick 4 months after I married, at 22, and, having gotten sick just over a year after I'd gotten clean & sober, for the first 'long' period of time, since I was FOURTEEN- I am ashamed to this day, to type that... I was 14 yrs, & basically 7-8 months old, when I began heavily abusing alcohol, marijuana, and other things... and, it was all due to one very traumatic event... from there.. well.. anyways, I went into the military 3 weeks after I turned 21, to Save myself, FROM myself.)

    Not having children- hubby & I have such affection for our DOGS, that, having to have my precious angel, pug, Abby, put to sleep 11-15-07 felt like it would kill me, for quite a while after.

    I don't want to lose anymore *humans*... but, I know that it is part of life. I just went through too many funerals before the age of 21, and many more *since*...

    I'm so sorry, I am rambling on again, as I always do, please focus on our dear friends, and just pray for them to gain understanding, acceptance, and peace with losing Elaine, as soon as God sees fit for them.. they are great people.

    I'm struggling very hard with my PTSD for the past 1-2 yrs, and, it sure comes out in my posts sometimes. I'm very sorry. and embarrassed.


    Me.
  3. Sacajawea2

    Sacajawea2 Member

    Death is so hard, and I'm so sorry you are hurting so much...part of life, may be, but never easy. I hope you find some ease in your pain soon...or at least find a measure of peace so that you can cope.

    Everytime I see your name, I repeat "But I'm as good ONCE as I ever was..."
    PSTD is another horror, and Laura, don't be embarrassed...you aren't alone with that here. And someone doesn't have to have PSTD or even all of our various illnesses to have empathy for another...that's what shows up in your posts, you are a very caring person...you keep writing, okay!

    SJ
  4. before I try to turn in, my mind, body, and soul, are all weak & weary... but, that's nothing new, of course..

    I don't think I've yet come to terms with our friend Elaine's death... that's always been me, though... Until I see the person inside their casket, or in one friend's case, deceased at 21, & buried with one of her children, (her 11 month old son, her 3 yr old daughter, was buried on a different day, by her father).. the casket was all that was shown, due to circumstances (closed casket, in other words...)

    Anyhow, that's been me, since my first 'loss' of my grandfather, at age 10.. I was not allowed at my uncle's funeral when I was 5, and I understand my mother's reasons.

    Anyhow, I dread the next 2 days, but, again, understand, it's just part of life...

    I've said this before, but, I believe it was George Carlin, who once, jokingly said "you know you're old, when you go to more funerals, than weddings..."

    I was pretty young, but, I remember at the time, of hearing him say that, getting a slight chuckle, but, still, nodding my head, thinking "yea... good point"..

    but, for some people, that would make them old, before *they* are even married... sadly.

    SJ, thank you so very much, for your comments. They mean A LOT to me... they give me 'human form' again...

    Illness robs people of their 'identity' and sense of self, so often... and having been clouded pretty heavily, from age 14-21, I never really 'knew' who I was, from then on, anyhow...

    But, your words, were something that my dearest 'granny' would have said, and she's probably *smiling* down from heaven, at you, for seeing her "little Laura" as she did. Caring, (and in her opinion, lol) smart, loving, kind, & (I so disagree with my mom & family on this one).... talented.

    They LOVED to hear me play piano- self taught from ages 3-17, then lost my access to my piano, after a move to the country at 17, left us with no room inside the house for my piano...

    My dad bought me a piano from a lady he had done work for (he's done construction since he was 17 pretty much, he's 63 now), and, my mother already embarrassed me, by coming into my house the other day when she dropped my sister off, and saying she "wanted a concert"...... simply because my sister told her I'd finally played a little the other night (and I mean *LITTLE* lol, as, I've forgotten nearly *everything* I'd "known" about piano, which was basic note reading, from 7 years in choir.. and then "playing by ear" as they say.)

    But, I do hope I can rid my own mental block, of having convinced myself that 'that part of me', isn't even alive anymore.

    I believe it would be very therapeutic...should I *regain* my ability to play at the level I once had.

    We'll see. It took me *months* to be able to sit at it, and 'give it a go'...

    *sigh*

    Thank you both for your posts,

    and, really... thank you SJ SO much, for your kind words... as I said... they mean more to me then you could or will ever know. Truly.

    TY both So much.

    Laura.

    Also- I got a kick, I'm so glad you knew the reference of my name- it did indeed get it's roots, from Toby Keith's song. It is just so fitting of me, lol...

    I wish I'd think "but I'm as good ONCE, as I ever was"...

    ;-)

  5. Sacajawea2

    Sacajawea2 Member

    Yes-- I got it the first time I ever saw your name, lol...and you're welcome...I hope you are doing okay, or getting the support you need to see through this difficult time.

    Are you in any therapy for the PTSD? I can't imagine how difficult it would be, but I see you making every attempt to hang in there...next step, love yourself and accept yourself. I can imagine you playing the piano...I have a daughter who plays by ear and is amazing...I'll think of you when she plays!

    Maybe at the signature, you could post the conclusion....
    "but I'm as good ONCE, as I ever was"...
    that would be a cute touch!

    SJ
  6. Debra49659

    Debra49659 New Member

    Girl....I am so sorry for your losses. How very sad you must be. Please forgive me for the delay in responding to you posts....I have been having such a good time with you on the other board.

    You rambling???? well, okay, yep you do...lol!! But, I love to read EVERY WORD you write. Don't ever forget that!!

    I can relate to your feelings about dogs...LOVE them. We lost our beloved Mackenzie this month....God, that hurt....still hurts.

    Anyway...I am rambling...lol, blessing and peace to you and again I am sorry for you losses.

    Hugs,
    Deb
  7. Rafiki

    Rafiki New Member

    So much hurt!

    Like the others, I don't think you have anything to be embarrassed about. We don't need to be embarrassed about being human. We are all really much more similar than we are different. I have a feeling you'd be surprised if you knew how true that is.

    I think you should give yourself credit for getting through all, don't you. I also think you deserve an opportunity to learn peace. There has been so much chaos in your dear little life. You have lots of time to create a peaceful life now. Sometimes it all starts spinning so fast that we think it will spin like that forever! But, it doesn't have to.

    Dogs know peace, don't they? My dogs have taught me a lot about peace. Sometimes I think that if people just spent a little time sitting still and quiet with a dog every day their lives would change. Just sitting still and quiet, petting a dog, and thinking, slowly: this is peace, this is peace...

    Now I'm rambling! It's an epidemic!

    Peace to you,
    Rafiki
  8. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    I am so sorry for the losses you have suffered and they pull greatly on your heart and soul. Please take care of yourself through this. Prayers.