Ugh, what do I do?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by seireiofhope, Jan 21, 2011.

  1. seireiofhope

    seireiofhope New Member

    My fibromyalgia has been kicking my butt lately. I have a hard time getting out of bed so that I can work my three days a week, let alone to have a social life.
    One of my close friends just moved to a city three hours away, and I couldn't see her before she left because of my fibro...and my cramps. I have it's not easy for me during my time of the month. And now she hates me and keeps telling me this is why she wanted to give up being friends. How is it my fault that I have A) A chronic illness that is acting up really bad and B) That I have super, super bad cramps that don't go away very easily for me.
    Even though it's not my fault, she is making me feel like it's my own fault I have fibro...and it's making me second guess my friendships. Does all of them think like that? That it's my fault I am sick and they hate me for it?
    What a I supposed to do? I refuse to go on the medications like Lyrica, and I can't get in to see my doctor without a few month wait time. I take 12 vitamins a day that are supposed to help with fibro, I try and be as active as I can be... Gah!
    I hate that she can manipulate me like that. I am glad she is gone, but at the same time I regret not being able to see her.
    I hate my life.
    I hate fibro.
    I hate how I can't be there for my friends as much as I want to be. I am a very giving and loving person, and it kills me to not be able to hang out all the time, and be there for them all the time.
    My boyfriend gets jipped too. We can't do a lot of things because of my body. Which kills me because he deserves more....
    everyone does...
  2. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    When you say "how is it my fault?" well, of course it isn't, no more than a person having cancer or diabetes or a genetic disorder.

    NO ONE can manipulate you into feeling a certain way unless you let them. She may try, but you can put an end to that by the way you think, which subsequently changes the way you feel.

    For someone to "hate" you for being sick is absolutely ridiculous and if your friend feels that way then I certainly would not call her a true friend. She may not like what your illness has done to your friendship. She may not feel as close to you as she once did, or be able to go out and party (or whatever else it may be) but that only means that your friendship needs an adjustment.

    Would you still be there for her in times of need? Are you still a phone call away? Are you supportive of her emotionally? and vice versa. THAT is what real friendships are about. You can still give a lot. Your heart and soul have not been affected unless you let them be.

    I don't know how old you are, but my true and best friends are the ones I've had for MANY years. We live across the country from each other. We haven't seen each other in years. We can pick up the phone and it's like no time has passed at all.

    Who deserves more? YOU DO. Don't worry about what others deserve. Worry about what you deserve. You'll find to count on yourself for what you need. That is in no way a negative or pessimistic statement, but meant as a way of saying that you will find happiness from within.

    Seek friends who have more understanding. Is there a support group near you? I'd seriously consider going to one. There are people there who are in the exact same boat and can be very refreshing.

    Yep - having Fibro stinks, no doubt about it. There will be some hidden blessings if you look for them - you may not see them until you see them in hindsight. One may be some new friendships you find for instance that otherwise you wouldn't have for example - who knows.

    Sorry about the book I've written here! Yikes.

    I hope you have a good day!

  3. DVoit

    DVoit New Member

    Fibro is killing me. I ache so bad all the time now. I hate it too. Hope you feel better soon.
  4. Yucca13

    Yucca13 Member

    I have found, after having chronic pain from fibro and other problems for over 20 years, that there are not too many people who can empathize and/or understand what it is like to live with an ongoing lack of energy and pain that keeps you from doing things that you would like to do.

    It is sad when a friend cannot put themselves in your shoes and try to give you some slack when you are not up to all that they think you should be. You don't need the stress of trying to get them to understand.

    If your boyfriend didn't want to be with you, he knows where the door is. If he were the one with physical problems, I'm sure you would support him. That is what being a couple is all about, supporting one another.

    We have to give up a lot to cope daily with all that a chronic condition entails. It can be discouraging, maddening, aggravating, depressing, etc. but we have to do the best we can and not worry about what others think.
  5. kezzluvscats

    kezzluvscats New Member

    I have lost many friends over the years. I still find myself having to explain myself. I think we should wear t-shirts saying. I HAVE FIBROMYALGIA and i didn't ask for it. I have lost my sister which meant i had to give up my littled neices. my mother even stopped visiting me as i was just lazy and fat. She would drive 90 mins to visit my sister and not 5 mins for me. they couldn't accept my disease after 10 years diagnosis and still were critising me for my inabilities. YOU ARE NOT ALONE i have only had the net on a few months and recently found this site.. reading the message board helps me HUGS