Unbearable pain. . . trying to cope

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by cjr2003, Jan 3, 2006.

  1. cjr2003

    cjr2003 New Member

    Hi everyone. I have been in a horrific flare since Saturday. I cleaned our church on Saturday and I think I overdid it. My husband and I clean the church every other month. I had been feeling better and decided to go ahead and vacuum, even though my husband usually did that part of the cleaning. I think the vacuuming is what put me in this terribly painful flare. I should have known better; but I was feeling so good, and thought I could handle it. Just after I cleaned on Sat. I went into a painful flare, and then Sun am I woke up with a migraine and have been fighting it off ever since. Yesterday, I went to the ER and got a demerol shot and that helped tremendously, but this morning, when I got up, all the pain was back. I took my pain med and my migraine med and it is better now, but I am worn out from the pain. My mother in law ended up taking me to the ER yesterday, and that too wore me out. This is what she said to me yesterday, " What are you going to do when you become immune to these shots?" ; " You just need to go and see Jerry" - he is this massage therapist she has been pushing me to go and try out. I have told her a million times that I cannot handle anyone touching me/massaging me right now because of the severity of the pain due to being off of the Neurontin, but it just goes in one ear and out the other with her. Then she says, " You need to see a specialist" - which I already am and have told her that too several times. Then she says, " Well, you need to have a full set of bloodwork done, to see what they can find wrong with you." I have explained to her so many times that I have lost track of counting now that all of the symptoms that I have are fibro related, and because I am off of most of my meds for the fibro because we are trying for a baby, the pain is going to be worse, and there just isn't much anyone can do. This is just something I have to go through. Then the questions come about, "Well, what are you going to do for pain when you are pregnant?" And then of course I explain that the dr's believe my pain will be less when I am pregnant because the fibro usually goes into remission during pregnancy or at least lessens some. She must have asked me 15-20 questions as we sat there and waited for my shot. She can be so annoying at times, and I love her as my mother in law, but I get so tired of the same repetetive questions that she asks that I have explained over and over to her. Are all mother in laws like this? I was in such pain, and the last thing I really wanted to do was answer 20 questions about things that we have talked about and answered before!! Then she asks me how long I think we will have to wait before they give me the shot; how many people are in front of me. Finally, I break down and tell her I am going to cry, because the pain is just so intense and I am having a hard time coping and she acts like I am just a wimp for crying/sharing emotion. Brother! Right now, I just don't care if I don't see her for another month! She really annoyed me! Thanks for listening, much love to all, Carla
  2. WoodstocksMusic

    WoodstocksMusic New Member

    Don't get me wrong and remember that you love your hubby and he loves his mother so you have to find a way to make things work....that is the hardest part of all.

    We should purge toxic people from our lives whenever possible...maybe next time you need to find a understanding friends to drive you to the ER..

    Maybe you can find a polite way to tell your MIL that you have been through this with her before but will be glad to go over it again just not now, while you are in pain at the point of tears is not the time for analyzing your medical history.

    God love our mother-in-laws!

  3. cjr2003

    cjr2003 New Member

    Yes, ususally my husband takes me but he was very busy at work and couldn't get away, so he called his mom, and I was in such pain that at that point I just didn't care who took me. But, shortly after just getting in the vehicle with her, I was regretting it already. She and I really have a good realtionship; it is just lately that she has been getting on my nerves. S-times the little stuff just seems to add up enormously. Every time we visti another congretation for church services, which is only maybe twice a year, she says something regarding are we changing our membership, or why would we go and visit somewhere else etc. And over the holidays, she has made some comments about me missing church saying that so and so has fibromyalgia and they still get out and hunt and fish and do what they like, and really, the comparison alone was annoying enough. Each individual having fibro can be so drastically different because our bodies are so different. So she say, well, you can't just lay down and die because you have this illness. Which,that comment really hurt my feelings because I feel like I am such a fighter, and if I am not at church it is because I am hurting very badly or have a migraine. I of course love my MIL , but here lately, I just never know what she is going to say, and I am so tired of her saying things that hurt my feelings. Carla
  4. mientjie22

    mientjie22 New Member

    I just had a week with young people at a camp and also after loads of work, being up at night etc I have been in pain as well, it is so hard when you heart is in doing something and your body cannot go along.
  5. jakeg

    jakeg New Member

    Have you spoken to your MIL about how you feel when she says things like that and tell how much it hurts you when she does. Maybe she just doesn't realize it. It sounds like you respect her and have a good relationship with. Please don't let the questions harm your relationship with her speak to her about how you feel the next time you talk to her and see where it goes, you never know it could solve the problem that your talking about.

    Jake
  6. cjr2003

    cjr2003 New Member

    . . . from all the pain. After having a migraine/flare-up - it takes sometimes days to get any energy back because I have been fighting the pain. I have been so mad at myself for thinking I could handle doing all that vacuuming at the church when I should have known better. I have a few days where my symptoms are so much better and that makes me think I can take on the world I guess! I want so much to be able to do what I used to be able to do as far as work goes. I am just 33 and feel like I am 70. And I have to keep reminding myself that being off my normal meds is part of why I am feeling so horrific s-times. I hated that my MIL saw me yesterday doing so poorly. I am not even sure why. . . partly because I know she is going to say s-thing that will upset me, and I am just waiting for it, and dreading it, and partly because it is such a personal thing to be struggling with this disease so horrifically because I have stopped most of my meds due to trying to get pregnant, and then for others to witness me in such a poor state. Oh my goodness!!! I wish someone would just slap me out of this depression I have gotten myself into this week!
    This Friday my husband and I are going on a road trip to WV to see my mom and dad. I cannot wait!!!!! Just to get away from here will be so nice. And to get away from the MIL will be nice too! That must sound so awful, but, sometimes, I just feel she is too close for comfort. She and my FIL live just like a mile down our road, and she calls almost everyday to talk with my husband/have hime to take care of s-thing for her. She has to keep up with everything going on over here. S-times I just feel she is a bit nosy, and it gets on my nerves. Like I said! I wish someone would just smack me a good one and get me out of this mood I am in!! LOL Carla
  7. cjr2003

    cjr2003 New Member

    Most likely, she DOESN'T realize that her comments hurt me. I don't think she would ever say anything to intentionally hurt me, but I do wish she would try and understand a little better what it is I have gone through for the past 6 months/try and put herself in my shoes. I think that that is hard for her. She is the same with my FIL when he gets sick. She is always complaining about how he goes on about how sickly he feels when he comes down with a viurs. S-times I just get frustrated with her because she seems to lack a lot of compassion. But this is just her nature/personality. Not that that makes it any easier to deal with! I think she gets frustrated with my illness because I am not cured yet! She seems to think that I am going to wake up tomorrow and just get over this disease, and I do my best to inform her of how the disease works and that what I am going through is actually normal for having this disease/ being off meds that control the deep pain. It can be so frustrating on my end to have someone that you have to deal with frequently that just doesn't seem to "get it", or has stopped trying to get it, doesn't seem interested in really truly understanding what it is I am going through/ just wants me to get over it! uggggggggggggg! the joys of being a daughter in law! I would be afraid to confront her about my feelings because she has the type of personality that I have experienced too many times that when you confront them they deny there is a problem/ don't want to deal with your feelings. She is not a very compassionate/touchy feely type of person unfortunately. LOL Carla
  8. jakeg

    jakeg New Member

    I know people that are like that. Always making suggestions on what to try and on and on. Usually if they ask how I'm doing I just say as well as can be expected and change the conversation to anther subject, 9 out of 10 times they get my point that I don't care to discuss this DD with them since they seem not to understand what it does to a person and trying to explain it to them many times over does get to you.

    Hope your flare fades quickly

    Jake
    [This Message was Edited on 01/03/2006]