Universal Truths (Ha)

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by JimB51, Feb 23, 2010.

  1. JimB51

    JimB51 Member

    Some of these crack - me - up! ... soooo True. It feels as if I wrote them myself! LOL - Jim

    Subject: Universal Truths


    1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

    2. Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

    3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

    4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

    5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

    6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

    7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

    8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

    9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

    10. Bad decisions make good stories.

    11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

    12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

    13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

    14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

    15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello?
    Hello? Dang it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away? LOL - (Exactly)

    16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

    17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

    18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

    19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

    20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

    21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I saw it the first time.

    22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic bags in each hand .. than to take TWO trips to bring my groceries in.

    23. Sometimes I actually look forward to a red light so I can finish a text.

    24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

    25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

    26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent an jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

    27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

    28. Is it just me or do High School kids get dumber & dumber every year?

    29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

    30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

    31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
    (yup) ... lola

    32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my behind everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

  2. victoria

    victoria New Member

    VERY universal!

    Thanks for the laughs, all 32 of them!

  3. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Ain't it the truth! If those are not Universal truths, they are
    certainly Paramount.

    My favorite is number 33.

    Here's another one. The ornery computer always waits till you are
    using it, before it acts up.

  4. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    Lol!! Now you have me wondering why the freezer does not have a light. If we can put a person on the moon, why can't they figure out how to make a light that will not freeze?

    Have you ever tried to test whether your refrigerator light really goes off when you close the door? Even if you are quick, I don't think anyone has proven this theory. I think I smell a conspiracy.


  5. lgp

    lgp Well-Known Member

    You provided me with a really good-- no great-- laugh today!! And I so needed it!


  6. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    Really liked 15. That one always bugs me to the max! Where did they go?????????

    Thanks for the laughs, sure needed one.

    Shalom, Shirl