UPDATE.....COCKATOOMOM...life is falling apart!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by CockatooMom, Nov 21, 2006.

  1. CockatooMom

    CockatooMom New Member

    Hey everyone! I miss you so much!

    I have 3 weeks of nursing school left and then finals. I'm praying I pass this semester. It's looking unpredictible at this point. Especially after everything I have just gone through with my husband over the last 3 weeks.

    He told me he wasn't happy on Oct 29th and wanted a divorce. He talked me into moving, so it would be "easier one me" not having to see him everyday.

    I moved into a room-mate house on Sunday 11/5, then moved back home Monday 11/13.

    It turns out my gut instinct was right...my husband met someone at the bar 10/28 and when I was moved out of our place, he started moving in with her!

    He hadn't even known her but a week! (They are both idiots) And he's a cheating "you know what"! As a matter of fact, he stayed overnight at her house before I moved.

    At the new place, I was cramped up in one room, trying to concentrate on my studies, going all over the place on the emotional roller coaster, and figured...if HE's not going to live at our house, THEN I WILL!

    Why should I change MY life when he's the one that wants to leave!? I told him he can help me move back, or I'll get a moving company and bill it to him! Needless to say, he helped.

    Thank God I went back on my mood stabalizers when I did or who know WHAT may have happened!

    I still cry almost every day and feel VERY alone because I have to study and read SO MUCH. (I'm a mess really)

    I try to go to my mom's or a girlfriend's house when I can.

    I had to cancel my appt with my counsler on the 27th because I see my attorney for the first time then.

    I've been praying A LOT and could use some kind words.
    I hope all of you are doing well!

    I'm barely hanging on.....


    [This Message was Edited on 11/22/2006]
  2. leubie

    leubie New Member

    hey my name is laura----------ive read some of your post---------we have just never "met"------im so sorry you are having to go through this-------------its just not right--------i really dont know your history-------but i want you to know that i really felt for you when i read your post----------hold your head high-----you are NOT TO BLAME-------complete your studies--------just hang on a little while longer ----------YOU ARE NOT ALONE-------------WE ARE HERE---------WE CARE------do what you have to----------so you can set yourself up finacially and emotinally---------then get MAD AS H-LL-----!!!!---------please keep in touch-----we can get through this w/ you!!!!!--------take care-------LOVE TO ALL------LAURA--------p.s.-----i hope i was not too foward and nosy------i just care(i spilt w/ my husband b/c he couldnt handle fibro)
  3. shar6710

    shar6710 New Member

    Sorry you are having to deal with a divorce along with your finals. That's a lot of stress.

    You'll be in my thoughts.

    Shar
  4. CockatooMom

    CockatooMom New Member

    I appreciate the replies and I thank you for being here for me and caring.

    I woke up this morning from a dream about my husband. Laying there in bed, I prayed and asked God to help me accept this situation peacefully.

    I'm SO tired of crying, but I know I need to go through the grief process without being codependent and running to someone else to ease my pain.

    It's just so damn HARD! Please pray for me that I accept my situation with graditude. I don't know how to do this, but I am trying to find out.

    Hugs,
    E

  5. Pianowoman

    Pianowoman New Member

    I'm so sorry. I know the stress of getting through school is huge for you. Having the marriage problems to deal with as well must be overwhelming.
    I'm glad you can come here and vent and find support. Hang in there. Things will get better.

    Take Care
    Kathy
    [This Message was Edited on 11/22/2006]
  6. ll1816

    ll1816 Member

    I'm so terribly sorry for what you are going thru right now. Studying for finals and worrying about passing the semester is stress enough without you're having to go thru what your husband has done.

    Please hang in there and know that we are here to support you. You deserve much better than the man you married.

    I hope all goes well when you meet with your attorney on the 27th. Please let us know how it goes and continue to post as you need for support.

    We are here for you.

    Gentle hugs,
    Liz
  7. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    Cockatoomom:

    I prayed for you with the last post you had about these troubles.
    It really touched me because I also had a husband who gave me a hard time when I got my diagnosis. (We divorced).

    You know many men just do not have guts to see these kinds of things through.

    I am so sorry for all the moving you had to do. With nursing school coming to a close for you this is the last thing you need.

    Stay strong! Do not give into him (my opinion only).

    When you get through with nursing school you will have such a wonderful feeling of getting through it even with the husband problems.

    And do not forget to rest off and on.

    nyrofan

  8. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    I am so sorry you are going threw so much right now.
    I think you are holding up really well for all he's put you threw.
    Trust in God ,He will give you strength to go threw all things.
    Keep your eyes on your Goal of finishing school .Take good care of you, during these trying times.Everything will work out .
    Did you notice that we have a Chit Chat board now?they want us to move over there and save the CFS/FM board for only medical stuff.
    Our weather is wet and cold here and I'm not doing to well today.How is your health doing?
    Do you have your birds? Do they act different when the weather is changing? I just was wondering how they act as pets.

    I hope you can be with your mom and sister for Thanksgiving.I lost my parents but my sons will be here with us this year.I am very Thankful this year for family.Stay safe and come vent over in chit chat when ou have time.
  9. jessica0123

    jessica0123 New Member

    I TOO have been there with a cheating slime ball husband, with about the same situation, he met a woman with-in a week it was fun for him, lets just say he did get his in the end. He cheated on her too and she called me thats how I found out. I told her he was all hers now, Good bye! Sure it hurt and I cried for weeks. There is nothing worse than that betrayed feeling.

    Some men feel this excitement and are looking for that and then sometimes they wake up later then come crying back. I agree with Jess, God does have a plan for you, even though you do not want another plan for yourself or especially at this time? Why this time? I think God does this so you can focus on your finals first! Keep your mind of slim ball :) Stay in your HOME! I am glad you were so quick to see an attorney GOOD FOR YOU! I am also glad you have a friend and your Mom! You are not alone, thousands of women have been there were you are! Keep us posted...Jesisca
  10. CockatooMom

    CockatooMom New Member

    Thank you ALL for the responses! I really appreciate it. (So glad to hear about the chit-chat board too!) After my attorney appt, I’ll post there.

    I am gaining a little more strength each day, even if it’s just a fraction, through the tears. But sometimes it feels like this hurt will never go away, even though I know it will.

    We all think my husband is going through a mid-life crisis. And, yes the excitement of finding someone new can be addictive. He is extremely codependent. I am too, but not to the extent that he is. I acknowledge it and am working on correcting that character flaw.

    Surprisingly, my FM pain has let up since he’s left, so he was a stress factor in my life.
    And you all are right! I DO deserve someone that will treat me well and be understanding of my health conditions. My husband told me got tired of hearing that I was in pain. (a**hol$)

    I’m SO glad I have my cockatoo to keep me company! He knows there is stuff going on, but he’s back to eating normal now that we’re home. I love my Cuddle-bug!

    It’s very hard to concentrate on my schoolwork, but I close all the window blinds so I don’t have to look at his red Porsche sitting outside my window, or his big-truck because I know when he’s home and at work. (He got the Porsche last year when we were apart for 3 months.) Sometimes I go other places to study, just to get out of the house and away from here.

    Well, Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I know I have a lot to be thankful for, and all of you are on that list.

    Hugs & Love,
    “E”
  11. kellyann

    kellyann New Member

    Hi,
    You have so much going for you as far as you schooling goes, and you are such a nice looking lady! When you get your nursing degree, you'll be able to support yourself with ease! I envy you there, haha! I have applied to get in this local nursing school about a year ago, I am still waiting to hear form them. I heard it takes two years to get in though! No wonder there is such a nursing shortage!
    You don't need a loser like him in your life! Just think of the fun you can have going out dating! Go out dancing and have some fun after this is all settled! Don't sit and cry for someone like him who would cheat on you with a common barfly, yuck! Who knows what diseases he now carries! Ewwwww.......!

    Just apply youself to your studies, don't even give him a second thought, because he does not deserve to even lick your boots.

    I am proud of you for sticking with your studies through all of this! You are the best!
    Way to go!

    I have several birds too. I think I told you before. I have an african grey, and 2 greenwing macaws, and 1 blue and gold macaw. I love the birds! My african grey talks like crazy, she sings "you are my sunshine!" She is amazing!

    Keep your chin up! And be strong!
    Jesus loves you and so do I!
    Kellyann
  12. Mar19

    Mar19 New Member

    I'm so sorry for the stress and hurt that you're going thru right now. You sound like a very strong person, someone who has it pretty much all together, for the most part ~ lesser people would have crumbled under all you've experienced.

    I will pray for you, dear heart. Your dopey husband has thrown away a treasure ~ his loss.

    I visit here sort of on a hit-and-miss basis, but I'll try to check in and see how you're doing with your exams and attorney and all. May God strengthen and encourage you.

    Love and blessings
    Mar
  13. CockatooMom

    CockatooMom New Member

    Fight4acure~ Well, I have 3 weeks left I this semester. Next semester is 14 weeks and then I WILL BE DONE!!!! I should graduate in May 2007.

    Kellyann~ Yes I remember you telling me about your birds! It actually takes 3 years to get through a university nursing program like I’m in because of all the general education requirements. I like that expression “lick my boots” LOL!

    Mar~ Thank you. Yes I agree that it will be my husband’s loss. Thank you for keeping me in your prayers.
  14. Summit

    Summit New Member

    Put on your Big Girl Panties, and stand strong! To H*ll with him and his floozy! You just concentrate on you...and getting your school done, and making a better life for you! I know how Messed up this kind of thing makes you.....I have been there, been there (my husband thinks he can just kick me out of our house whenever he gets a wild hair up his rump) the last time, this summer, I went and stayed with a freind. for 3 days, I thought I was losing my mind, I was a mass of emotional mush!! I knew I had to "get a back-bone" and get off the pity pot (hard to do) so, I am back home with him now, but only cause it suits my needs/plans. I am not leaving with just the clothes on my back after 12 hard years of labor(farming) I am planning to leave (when I am ready) I'm tired of him complaining about me, etc. etc. he has No sympathy for my fibro (calls it whining) At least you are on your way to a new career!! Think positive. Be kind to yourself! WE do care here! please keep us informed, and feel free to email me personally if you want someone to talk to or to just vent. Keeping you in my prayers! echosoffreedom@hotmail.com
    ps, instead of thinking of it as life falling apart, think of it as life falling into place (a new better one) also I have the web address of a divorce support forum if you would like, they are great there too!
  15. CockatooMom

    CockatooMom New Member

    Summit~ Yep, mass of emotional mush pretty well sums it up! I woke up this morning and it was the first thing on my mind. I just laid there and cried…AGAIN.

    I’ve never had a problem with having a backbone. My husband used to love that about me, he may learn to hate it real fast!

    I couldn’t imagine farming with Fibro! You sound like a strong woman! I really like what you said, instead of thinking life is falling apart, think of it as falling into place (a new better one). I start going to a divorce support group Jan 15, 07. Thanks for the reply.


    Donnaeil~ LOL ! Exactly what I expected from you! I love it. Thanks for the support.


    Hugs,E
  16. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    I came back to see how you are .You have gotten lots of good advice.I;m going to post a topic on chat about funny sayings like "Lick my boots" Come on over for the fun.