UPDATE- I WAS A FOOL

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by joy4Him, Dec 17, 2004.

  1. joy4Him

    joy4Him New Member

    I was such a fool to think my husband would really change. I found last night a homemade gift voucher and a card from his mistress. The big kicker was on our camera were pictures of the two of them. I let him think everything thing was normal this morning and then after he left I packed his bags, put them on the porch and changed the locks. He thought he was smart, but I out smarted him.

    I really think God guided me to the spot were the things were and He gave me a nudge to look to see what was on the digital camera.

    Of course when he got to work and found his items missing the calling began and when I didnt answer he came home to find his things on the porch. He tried to say it was not like it looked, (YEAH RIGHT) Play me for a fool once, but it will not happen twice.

    Please pray for me and my children. I have a hard way to go, but I do know with Jesus at my side I will be fine. I truly believe He will get me through this. I just wish this didnt have to happen at Christmas time, but I could not let him stay another minute in this house.

    He was just telling me that night he wanted to go on a date this weekend and he wanted things to work and that was right after he was at that woman's house. I guess he thought he could live a double life.

    BTW at least she is ugly!!! LOL Thanks all for your prayers and listening to me. This will be hard but I know I will be ok.

    Gin
  2. jill5050

    jill5050 New Member

    God is giving you such strength to do this. It sounds like you are making the right move. He was lying. God doesn't stand for anything that you husband is doing, you are right to be released from him.

    I pray for continued strength and discernment for you. I pray for you kids too. This isn't easy, but I know you can do it. You are a strong Christian woman, and look who is on your side- Jesus. He will be there for you at all times. I pray that you will feel His presence, and take joy from that.

    Blessings,
    Carlie

    Some of us gathered together through Annie Kidwell guest book.
  3. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I've been divorced almost 16 years after a 3-year separation for the same reason as you. It is the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach. It is so hard for the kids too.

    Go ahead and be angry; you have every right. Just be sure to get some counseling and don't get stuck in anger. The kids will feel pulled in two directions and it's so important that they don't have to take sides. My girls both have a good relationship with their Dad and that makes me very happy.

    I forgave him and the woman a long time ago for my own sanity and well-being. I now have a friendly relationship with him. I'm glad, especially now that we are expecting a grandchild.

    To tell you the truth, I am so relieved to be out of that marriage that I offer thanks to God all the time. I was suffocating in the marriage and, while it hasn't been easy, I have done just fine on my own.

    I pray that you and the children will have peace and plenty. I also pray for strength for you. God bless you.

    Love, Mikie
  4. joy4Him

    joy4Him New Member

    Thank you for your replies,
    I just had to tell my six year old that daddy will not be living with us anymore, but I told her he loves her very much and he just needs to work on himself. I told her she can see him on Sunday.

    I was from a divorced home and my mother never said anything bad my father and I plan to do the same with our children. I am so angry at him but I don't want the kids to see it and I know I can forgive, it will just take a little time. He does loves his children and this will be hard on them, my daughter was crying so hard. I did get her calmed down and kept reassuring her of her daddy's love. He does not see the kids very much now because he was always gone and I told her you will probably see more of him and be able to sleep over once he gets his own place and I think that helped some.

    Does anyone have any other advice on how to deal with her and make her feel more secure. I told her we could go see granny and papa this weekend too. Any advice will be gadly taken.

    I know I will be ok because I have the Lord with me, but my heart breaks for my husband, he is going down the wrong path and he is sick mentally. I just thank God for my friends, I could not get through this with out them and the Lord. I also thank God for this board, it give me alot of encouragment and comfort. THANK YOU ALL GIN
  5. dash

    dash New Member

    Gin, we can trust God to bring hidden sin to the light of day when it affects one of his children. The Lord has protected you by revealing your husband's unfaithfulness.

    Whatever actions you take, take them prayerfully and slowly with the counsel of many wise people.

    Do you attend a church? Does it have a ministry to divorced and/or separated people? For instance, my church has such a ministry and it serves the children in such situations, as well as adults.

    I'm praying that God give you all the wisdom, grace and strength you need.

    God bless,
    Della

  6. Lupian

    Lupian New Member

    Your husband's duplicity could bring home to you something terrible and maybe even uncurable. I know the hurt of discovering the betrayal. An American Express card charge of a motel when he was "at work". There was more, and worse, and I really fought not to believe it.
    You are way ahead - you found proof and acted immediately - good job!!! This will prove to be the most empowering thing you have ever done. Not because you had to break the marriage, but because you had been suffering in it long before you began to say it out loud. Now you can begin to heal, and your children will also, if they see you and their father loving them as much as ever, but not having stress con stantly in the household and yes, children always know when things are not right. It scares them, and they think it is their fault. Perhaps your daughter needs to hear you tell her it is NOT her fault.
    Stand strong right where you are with Jesus.
    Blessings for you and your household.
  7. Sunrise

    Sunrise New Member

    Gin, so sorry to hear this, my sisterinlaw went through the same thing with my brother.

    The Lord does give you strength when you need it the most.

    It saddens me when familys fall apart,but familys are for all to be faithful to each other and the one who is not loses out... The true family will still be there for each other..

    blessings and prayers to you and your family...
    Sunrise
  8. fairqueen

    fairqueen New Member

    Gin,

    I went through the same thing during my first marriage. Luckily, God brought me out of that one when I had only been married 5 years. I had a newborn and it was difficult--but we made it and God brought me to a new, wonderful man. We've been married almost 29 years and have my son, from my first marriage, whom he adopted and twin daughters.

    I don't know what God has in mind for you, but HE has a PLAN!! Luckily for all of us, GOD IS IN CHARGE and he loves you and your children. He can see the big picture. Like others have said, Hopefully, for your own sake, you will be able to forgive your husband some day. However, as Mikie said, you have a right, and need to be, angry right now. There are grieving stages when you go through a loss of a marriage. I think you need to go through all of them. Della suggested counseling through a church, perhaps. That is such a good idea.

    Please take care of yourself, be kind to yourself and remember our Heavenly Father loves you so much. He will be with you and will help you through the tough times. Put your trust in him and he will bless you and your children.

    God Bless You!

    Jan