Update, "Meds make me crazy'

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by kat211, Jul 19, 2010.

  1. kat211

    kat211 New Member

    Ok, so my original posting might not have said exactly what the title of this thread is, but with so many looking and commenting on my original post, I thought I would post an update.

    The first 4 days of my introduction of cymbalta and removal of celexa from my system were nothing short of horrible. I was having such awful mood swings that I didn't even want to be with myself. I ended up sitting my son down for a very intense heart to heart to apologize for and explain my behavior and he told me, 'Mom, I support you in whatever you do. If this new medicine will make you not hurt anymore, it's ok if you are cranky.' He is still with is grandma, who is taking wonderful care of him and is very supportive of me finding something to help me with this DD. She may be my ex-mil, but she is wonderful! (He is my life force. He does not know it, nor shall he ever bear that burden, but he is my savior.)

    I have been feeling GREAT for the past 2-3 days. I have forced myself to take it easy and slow b/c it has been in the high 90s - low 100s here for the past week or so. Today, I forced myself to take my morning slow, but I couldn't stop myself this afternoon. I got so much accomplished with such little effort. I felt young and, more importantly, alive again. I felt like I did prior to this DD and prior to my tbi (traumatic brain injury, closed head injuries back then were called 'mild-traumatic-brain-injuries." Yeah, because there is a brain injury that isn't traumatic (imagine sarcasm font).

    Anyhow...I managed to go 2 miles on my new to me (purchased used on craigslist) elliptical that works standing and sitting like a bike AND looking for at multiple stores, and testing out a new bike on a 1/2 mile test ride and then managing to take it on a trip to the liquor store, (10 miles roundtrip). I used to run at least 6 miles a day prior to my TBI! (and yes, it has been decades since then, but that person who used to have the 6 pak and work out everyday is still inside me) I know I will never get my tbi/fibro life back, but that sure as he!! isn't going to stop me from trying to recover part of it.

    I digress. I have had almost the most amazing past few days. I am restrained in this post, but I feel alive for the first time in years. I am once again in control of my life.

    There are no words, in any language, to express how I feel. OK, so apprehensive describes some of what I feel.

    I am scared that I will over do it and cause myself to be bedridden for days if not more. I do have an internal conflict

    I had to share my experience so far for the slight chance that it might help someone else.

    Right now, as I sit here on my sofa, I feel great. My pain level has gone from a consistent 7+ with pain meds, which I thought as acceptable, to a 3 at most. That 3 is the pain in my neck from bulging discs, and yes, bulging discs classify as a 3 with me and I DO have an appt with a spine specialist.

    I hope that my experience might give someone else here hope. I personally have been on 32 different medication concoctions in the past 20 years and have never felt as normal as I do now.

    I am not posting my experiences in order to argue with anyone about, well, anything. I am not claiming that I have the miracle cure. I am simply updating my personal experience with a specific drug.

    I am saying DO NOT GIVE UP HOPE. If this does not last, you can bet that I will relish in the time that I felt alive again and I will go on. I will find something that helps with my pain, physical and mental.

    We are our best and only adovocates. If we don't know what others experience than we cannot accurately define what we feel.

    I do not know if this will last for me, nor do I care. I am here, right now, and I feel alive. that in and of itself must be shared. otherwise, we are nothing.


    I cannot experience what you have, but I can empathize,

    With Love,
  2. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    Great news!! Thank you for sharing your experience.

    Hopefully this will be the key to you getting better.

    Don't dwell on what may happen down the road but do keep in mind that it is important to follow through with your doctor or therapist to make sure that things stay in the positive column. You probably know this but it never hurts to be reminded.

    [This Message was Edited on 07/19/2010]