Update on my situation

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by losing my mind, Apr 13, 2004.

  1. losing my mind

    losing my mind New Member

    thank you all for your continued prayers and encouragement about the death of my beloved husband. It will be 3 weeks tomorrow and i still cannot believe he is gone. A new "setback" in my opinion is that we had prayed that we would be able to sell his business but that has not happened so now i have 2 weeks to pack up six rooms of offices (or at least try to sell the furniture) close up and see 3 women lose their jobs. There is alot of expense involved in this and so much work. Im barely surviving but now i have this to agonize over. In a way I'm mad at God for it not being sold- that would be the answer to all my prayers- I know God's in control but not only have i lost my husband but now i have this extra burden and pressure. Please pray that this will all go smoothly and that maybe i can make a few dollars off of the selling of furniture. Another request is that we are still waiting for the death certificate. i cant apply for social security or insurance claims until we receive it. Im a stay at home mom with no income so until we get the certificate i have no money coming in. Thank you all again for your prayers. my heart still aches beyond belief.I praise God for you all

    Losing my mind

    iLv thanks dear
  2. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    Its so good to hear from you. THis must be so hard, I`m so sorry you lost your husband. As if that isn`t bad enough, you have to deal with all this financial stuff. I`m sure it very difficult.

    I will be praying very strongly that God helps you by making things go smoothy with all the financial things. Also praying that you get some income coming in this week yet.

    We are here for you anytime you need prayer or to talk.

  3. danny3861

    danny3861 New Member

    Sorry to hear about his business and this additional struggle and burden you have to deal with. We all certainly don't understand the big "Why" sometimes and wonder why Gods has allowed this to happen. Please keep your faith in the Lord. I will be praying fervently for you and the family during this difficult time. I will be a prayer warrior for you. God bless you.

  4. losing my mind

    losing my mind New Member

    thanks for your replies- we're moving on with the closure and i have so many wonderful friends helping me. we're still so broken hearted i know it will take a long time for the hurt to go away- thanks for all your concern

    God Bless You all
  5. hope2001

    hope2001 New Member

    Dear lovely lady,

    I feel for you. I know this is a terrible time for you, for I have been there myself. My children were 1, 7 and 9 when their father was driven off a cliff by a drunk driver. He died several weeks later, never having regained consciousness.

    We were in the middle of building our home, while living in it. It was truly a job site and I had no idea what we were going to do. We had no life insurance and the house had holes in the floor and wires hanging out of the walls.

    All I could do was go to God. It was an amazing time of grace for us. It seems when you have absolutely no control over any of your life circumstances it is very freeing and peaceful to rely on God. I think it was easier than it would have been if we had had life insurance and a complete home. It took about 8 years to complete the house (almost - sortof) but I can assure that God met our needs and whims in amazing and inspiring ways. I sat at the threshold of each "room" and envisioned it completed and decorated, exactly as I would dream in its perfect "world". I prayed at each threshold that God would complete the work which was begun and that he would not only bring the home to completion but that it would be as beautiful and gracious as we had dreamed our dream home would be. I knew that God would be glorified by blessing us and sustaining us.

    I read the Bible and showed my children God's promises to widows and to orphans. I showed them the ways that God had worked miracles in "impossible" situations for others who loved Him and that he would bless us and sustain us as well. I claimed God's word to Him in my prayers and professed that they be fulfilled in our lives as well.

    Most importantly, I sat my children down and prayed with them often and honestly about our needs and my fears. I know that God has a special place in His heart for the prayers of children and that he would not let their faith fall flat.

    I also talked to my children at the beginning of this time and told them that we were at the beginning of a very exciting journey. I told them that hero's never planned to be such. They never even imagined themselves to be heros or special in any way, they just took one step at a time and found themselves in difficult situations AND CONTINUED anyway. I told them that to be BRAVE is not to be fearless, but to continue even when they were afraid. Faith, I told them, is acting as though God has already done or in the process of doing what you ask him to do, even when there is no logical reason to believe it to be so. I told them that we would have many experiences that we never would have had in our previous life, some good, some bad, but this was just life. Everyone has things happen that are not fair. Especially in the Bible. God's chosen people suffered greatly and often, not because they were being punished, but for many reasons. Because God was purifying them, or helping them to learn something, or because they simply had excercised their own free will and were experiencing the consequences of that free will, because someone else had excercised their free will (like the drunk driver) and they were experiencing the consequences of that free will.

    Mountains are very difficult to climb, but upon reaching the top the view is glorious and in looking back you can see why the path taken to the top was necessary, you can also see clearly into the distance...not necessarily the path that will get you to that distant destination, but you at least have a vision of a future mountain top....just remember there are more winding trails up down and around many difficult places along the way.

    I certainly don't mean this to sound trite or patronizing. Scream when you feel like screaming and cry when you feel like crying. God knows your true feelings, pretending they aren't inside of you is just going to keep you alienated from God. I did a bit of yelling at God. I think he just loved me all the more in my grief. It also kept me real and my relationship with Him real. Tell your children that any emotion they experience at any time is perfectly OK and a natural part of the grieving process.

    My oldest child just graduated last week. It was heart breaking to be there and know that she did not have a father to stand in pride as she accepted her diploma. It will be this way for your children as they grow...new stages to grieve through. It is never really over, just different. I am sure that weddings and grandchildren will be other times that grief will be new.

    I lost my first three children, one a still born daughter. My best friend in the world, Beth, died 8 months before my husband, also in a car accident and I felt so completely alone when I was widowed. Beth and I had been friends since first grade and had been pregnant together. She had seen every stage of my development and my families development, as I had seen hers. I went through her death and her children's loss and I suppose in a way, she helped me to prepare for my own loss and my children's loss 8 months later.

    I still have never found quite as good a friend again. things also were very different after being widowed because a lot of people have a difficult time with situations like that. I found that sometimes men in that situation are more embraced than women...who find themselves suddenly single and needy and (to some people - a threat to their marriages or to their sense of security in their "life"). I hope it won't be that way for you.

    I am who I am because of everything God has walked me through. I would be a very different person today if things had been any different.

    I am remarried now, for almost 4 years and he is wonderful. It took a while for the family to mesh as a unit...but the work was worth it.

    I will keep you in my prayers.
    Please let us know how you are doing!