Update to Wipe Out ... Things even worse now

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by elastigirl, Feb 3, 2006.

  1. elastigirl

    elastigirl New Member

    I really didn't think things could get worse after my last post about all my problems... "Wipe Out."

    But I was wrong... Since then, my son developed bronchitis with a persistant high fever. My sprained foot did not heel; it's worse now. I'm catching a bad cold.

    The money that was supposed to arrive this month did not. The fellow has again reset my ETA to a year from now. (Thanks for nothing, guy.)

    My son called my ex tonight and told him I had been "yelling" at him (not true) and complaining about our "small" house (true). I was mortified.

    Turned out my son is still insisting that my "firm Mommy" voice is yelling. We had another discussion about that. (If I do slip and yell -- rare -- I always apologize to him.) Four years old and already up to this sort of tattle-tale thing, ugh.

    I thought at least the ex will be here to help out over the next couple of months with every other weekend visitation -- I seem to be having random flares that make no sense, so these are welcome breaks for me to rest.

    No such luck -- he tells me he's taking three after work college courses over the next few months (March-May) and will not be able to see his son AT ALL! Ugh! I don't even feel that badly for myself -- I will find a way to survive. But my son will be sooo hurt.

    I'm on my own completely now -- sprained foot (hurts like a bugger!), sick (mostly angelic) child who already has cabin fever, sick and fighting a bad cold myself, more bills due everyday, less income to cover them, five mouths to feed (inc. 3 cats,) no way to run simple errands with out hiring a babysitter ($$) until my son is recovered... ad nauseum.

    I'm just running out of steam. I've been pushing myself through pain because that's the only way I can get through right now. I've fallen so far behind. By some miracle, my doctor gave me a prescription strength Ibuprofin -- that will help. Plus my sick kitty miraculously stopped vomiting a few days ago (I suspect board members were praying hard for her :)!) So that's good news, too.

    But I'm still completely overwhelmed and wiped out. We are out of all kinds of essential groceries -- the basics, like bread! I dread paying a sitter ($$!) so I can go get a little shopping (more $$! We are out of benefits for the month) done this weekend, but it must be done.

    I don't even know how I would have made it this far without this board. So that's something to cling to, too :). I really have no one in my life that would truly understand what I'm going through right now. TG for this board.[This Message was Edited on 02/03/2006]
  2. Crispangel66

    Crispangel66 New Member

    I am sorry for all you are going through. I is terrible when you have a sick kid on top of all of your existing problems. Just hang in there things will improve soon. I will pray for you that they do! I can understand about your child that said that to your ex. My son alot of times will say things that make me sound like a terrible mother and they aren't true. Also my sister in-law had a daughter that passed away and she used to say things just out of the blue that were either exagerrated or didn't make since to her dad my sister in-laws ex. She didn't ever really mean anything by it she just didn't think before she talked. Hope and pray things improve for you.
    {{{{{Gentle Hugs}}}}} Pamela
  3. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    since he is not taking his son? this so sucks...i am going thru a similar situation but mine just turned 16 and his dad lives like 75 miles away...

    i am getting him more and more due to childs saturday morning football practice/and or games and track season is starting next week...

    i do not have family in this state so it is on me...
    i have contacte the da's office the next step is contacting my attorney's office for modification...

    good luck

  4. ritatheresa

    ritatheresa New Member

    So sorry you've been having so much trouble.

    I will definately keep you in my prayers, I also have a 10 year old daughter and when money starts getting tight I seem to go into panic mode.

    Hope things start looking up for you, REAL SOON,
  5. elastigirl

    elastigirl New Member

    Grrggg. My son threw up all over everything -- bedding, mattress, clothes, pillows -- after I gave him his last dose of medicine.

    I really need a good cry. I'm so worried about him, but I guess vomiting is normal when they are sick and take medication. His doctor didn't think his bronchitis was serious enough for an xray, and his fever is mostly gone today, so I know I'm being a nervous ninny. But I'm still prepared to go to the ER if things take a turn for the worse.

    I went to change the sheets -- and discovered the sheets were in the laundry -- and discovered I'm almost out of much-needed (esp. w/vomit to wash) bleach!

    I have these in the house:
    Baking Soda
    White Vinegar
    Hydrogen Pyroxide

    I was never a home ec student. Just don't know what I can use to substitute for bleach. I don't have any bleach substitute in the house, such as OxiClean -- also out. Any ideas?

    Ugh! Out of bread, too. He loves sandwiches. Is there any way to make canned biscuits (such as Pillsbury Grands) on the stovetop or on the George Forman grill? Because our oven is on the fritz; no toaster oven yet.

    He's barely eating anything at all. I can get him to nibble some crackers (the kind he likes is almost gone) or popcorn, but that's it. No protein except milk -- I'm going to mix up some powdered because the soy is not agreeing with him today (probably added to the explosion!)

    He has also starting pooing in his underwear again. Down to two "paper underpants!" I think it comes from wanting to be cared for like a baby again when he's sick.

    I SOOOO needed to get to the store today. I had a list of 20 items that would be free after coupons and rebates, and the sales end today. We NEED that food. But now that's he's vomiting, a babysitter just isn't an option.

    I guess we'll have to see what next week brings as far as sales; snow expected tomorrow.

    I'm just trying to take deep breaths and survive. Keep him comfortable and as happy as possible. He's been watching the same video over and over again, which in my case is always an indicator of stress (comfort in repitition, like playing Solitaire.) But after ten viewings, he finally decided he wanted to watch something else. I take that as a good sign.

    About child support -- the ex cheated us out of perhaps $500 child support from unreported income from his (several, could be much more) bathroom remodel jobs. He's definitely cheating us out of at least $850 child support this year by not reporting his raise.

    I could persue this, but our evaluation is due in July? I think. I suspect once they see his W2, they'll charge him back support. But I do not know how this all works. Don't have the strength to confront him.

    This may be why he gives me a little extra now and then -- $20 for son's birthday, $100 for Christmas, half of incidentals like school pictures. It's still only a small portion of what he's slipping out of paying.

    Very sad today; gray and raining non-stop. Will plug on. Hope everyone who posted here is having a better day than us :).

    I'll read some joke posts to try to get myself a little more cheered up. Thank you for all the prayers :).
  6. Bambi

    Bambi New Member

    food shortage you should. You can also call around to the churches and ask if they have a volunteer program for things like watching your child while you make fast trips to the store. Most have some sort of out reach. Believe it or not ask the Jehovah's Witnesses, they do a lot of community work, true mostly for their own but for others also. You don't hear about it because the bible says not to let your right hand know what your left hand is doing in way of charity. They came and read to my grandmother when her sight went and without being asked. Kind people.

    You could also call the Salvation Army and advise them of your food situation. If you aren't getting enough income you are probably qualified for some state benefits. I was amazed when I found the site for our state benefits at how many things are available and not all have to be
    for poverty level people. You may be missing out on a lot of benefits due
    or available to you. Pride never fed a child.

    If you husband isn't working side jobs for cash it will be on his W2 but if he is you'll have no proof. I would tell him that if he can't kick
    in more to assure your child's welfare then you will have to give him total custody. That might jump start his interest as it seems he has big plans for his time.

    I hope something works out!
  7. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    i hope your son is feelig better and you are getting some rest now...

    i would call your ex and tell him you need some moeny for foood and such...and could he do you a favor and pick up some bleach and food atleast or come and watch your son while you go out shopping...

    he may possibley but if we don't ask we don't get it..

  8. MamaR

    MamaR New Member

    I am so sorry that you are going through so much. It seems like...when it rains it pours!

    I wish that there was more that we could do to help...like help you with the kids, etc. when you need to go to the store.

    Do you have anyone close to help you?
  9. Sheila1366

    Sheila1366 New Member

    You are having a tough time and I really am sorry that things have gotten this way for you and your son.Is there some type of community service in your area that helps famamlies in need like the Salvation Army.There has got to be a food bank somewhere that youcan get the basic foods you need.And as far as babysitting,maybe you and a friend can switch off babysitting.Soak that foot in some salt water,hot water.Epsom salt works best but if you don't have that try salt.Atleast kitty is better, right.ANd you both will get better I promise.Children are gonna play parents against each other even if you are married.They can be little manipulaters for sure,I got 2 of them.But it sounds like your son is trying to get dads attention.Poor fella.
    Look into your community for help.
    Take care of your ankle and your little fella.
  10. alaska3355

    alaska3355 New Member

    This is definitely a tough time for you and your son...I'll be praying for you both.

    It sounds like a viral thing your son probably caught at school and I'm guessing he'll recover from it soon, but I'd push the fluids and not too much food yet. When the vomiting is over, try a dry biscuit and maybe a few eggs...you'll have to feed him little bits until he can keep it down. I wouldn't even try milk yet.

    Hopefully he'll be doing better already and you won't need this...God bless...Terri
  11. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    then I guess you are have WIC checks? You can have a pretty high (low compared to "normals") income before you are inelegible for that stuff. Your son is elegible til he's 5 (turn 6) for those checks. You will have eggs, cereal, milk, peanutbutter, beans, cheeze, juice on those checks. And you get a free prick on the finger, too! LOL! Good people that can help you find all the resources you need, they know all the ins and outs in your town. And churches are great, I have a lady coming by to see how I'm doing, she would be here if I had a problem with my own health, or my kids. I bet she would find someone to run to the grocery store for me too if I couldn't go. Please give it a shot.
  12. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    I've been out of touch for a bit, but just read this post. You poor dear. I'm glad about your kitty!

    Prayers and hugs coming your way. I do hope things look better soon!

  13. elastigirl

    elastigirl New Member

    I was doing some work tonight when I heard my son say softly, "Mommy, I want eggs." I jumped up and sprinted to the kitchen -- as this was the first time he wanted anything heartier than cereal in the past three days.

    He ate about two eggs worth -- though I fixed him three -- now we're out of eggs :(. I'm going to try cheesy spaghetti tomorrow, one of his favorite dishes.

    I was going to call my brother this afternoon to ask him to pick up a few groceries -- I'd write him a check.

    How ironic is this? He called me before I could call him. His truck broke down, and he needed me to pick him up!

    Yes, I was the only available relative he could find. However, with my son still very feverish (and still having a deep cough,) I couldn't risk going out in this bitter cold. I had to turn him down, but I started calling relatives and found an aunt who could drive him home. No mechanics open on Sunday, of course.

    Thus, no groceries.

    If that weren't enough, the ex called to insist that my son -- all of four-years-old -- watch the Super Bowl. I told him our son had watched a few minutes, then decided he wanted to watch a movie.

    I could hear that my ex was in a bar with lots of shouting at the game. How did I feel, hearing that, knowing I can virtually never have a good time like that? Depressed and angry.

    I tried to tell him that our son's fever had not gone away; in fact, it's about the same -- comes on fast about every six to eight hours -- so bad his whole body burns to the touch and his hands shakes.

    However, I could no sooner get out, "Our son's fever is still...," when the ex cut me off so he could get back to his friends. I said, "Bye," and hung up.

    He's so clueless. I'm tending to our sick, vomiting, feverish child 24/7 on my own, and he's hanging with the buddies, having great time, as usual. He has no concept or empathy for what we're going through here.

    I think the real reason my son's fevers aren't going away is because he vomits up the anti-biotic dose. Seems to handle the cough syrup and Ibuprofin okay -- but not the anti-biotic. I did separate all the doses so he's not taking more than one med at a time but that did not help. Am planning a phone call to the clinic when they open tomorrow.

    I have to learn not to ask if things could get any worse :(. Thank you for all of the support, though, it means everything to me. Very lonely time right now, really cut off from everyone when you cannot leave the house. Just too risky to my son's health to try going out in that freezing wind :(.
    [This Message was Edited on 02/05/2006]
  14. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    i am so sorry that your ex can not be a more involved parent..asking a 4 year old to watch the super bowl? he likes his trophy for his son...

    is yor son getting better at all? can he take his anti-biotic w/food maybe he could do that....

    glad to hear you will be calling the doctors tomarrow...

    i understand the driving distance for the ex...mine drives 75 miles and that is in the bay area in san francisco..traffic...

    it sucks to say the least...i have no family here to help out at all except the ex...

    well take care


  15. elastigirl

    elastigirl New Member

    Thank you for the response. I do think my son is a little bit better, if only a little. He ate a few spoonfuls of shells'n'cheese today. Really, he did not eat anything else, though -- just fluids including powdered milk (prepared) with Ovaltine.

    I had to cut his antibx dosage until he can handle more. His fevers today were lighter and his hands shook less, plus, short of buckling him into bed, I could not get him to sit still -- he really wanted to play and play.

    Here's hoping he'll have a more of an appetite tomorrow :).

    At least his father wrote him an email, but again, he didn't seem concerned with his health.

    Just so low and blue, and I'm not sure why. I know I'll get through this. Being stuck in the house due to health and weather, I've actually gotten a lot of housework done, much more than usual, but I still cannot give myself any credit...

    ... I still feel like a failure. If I can't shake these blues in a couple of more weeks, I think I'll give my former therapist a call.
  16. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    i feel for you, i wished we lived closer i would completely help you and yor son out in anyway i could..even if it were to watch your son to go get errands done....

    i hope the little guy is feeling better....

    maybe you could schedule yourself an appointment out a week or so and if you dont feel the need to talk to your therapist then you could always cancel...

    it is such a hard job to be a mother then yet to do it alone is even worse....

    all of my family including the ex-husbands are all in michigan and we are in california....

    it breaks our hearts as mother to have to see what these fathers do or not do to our children...i just think we are some more nuturing then men by nature....

    i know we can not understand how these men can behave the way they do to their children...when your son gets about 7 or 8 he will really need a supportive father...but if he can not have one you may want to try getting on a list for bitg brothers...a friend of mine did that for her son it she really liked it and so did her son....

    my son had a friend's father do things like take him crabbing and fishing, swimming and things like that...it seemed even when his father was here other friend's father paid more attention to him than his own father....

    but like the ex's mother said to me once...when tracy, his dad, gets older and wonders why no one is there for him then maybe he wil figure it out and it will be too late...

    my ex-told me last night he was not a good father he was not here for cody even when he lived with cody...he told me i am an excellent mother and i have raised a really good young man...he is troubled by his actions so maybe he will benefit from some help he is getting...not only for me but his son most importantly....he does not have many years before his son is 18 years, less than 2 infact....

    but we have to try and stay strong and focused on our sons...you can do it i can tell you are a strong one....and if you need to get some therapy or ask for a lending hand from places you never thought you would it will be worth it in the long run....

    i have 2more years of high school left with cody so i am trying to prepare him for college...thank god he has 4 years paid for and books and a monthly benefit as well for at least his father got him that...reasonof being a 30% disabled veteran...if i did not get much from our marriage then maybe cody can get something from it....

    thank you for posting on my other reply...i appreciate the fact you took time out of your hectic world...i saw your reply when i needed to hear something from someone....

    thank you for being a friend....

    i wish you a restful night and your little man his health back.....


[ advertisement ]