Upsetting Dr.'s Appointment/re: replies

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by coyote, Jan 8, 2003.

  1. coyote

    coyote New Member

    I went to the rhuemy today. I left my list of things I wanted to talk about in the car. I fell asleep in the examining room waiting for him to come in.
    The student doctor comes in and interviews me. I tell her where I hurt: neck, lower back, hips, knees, feet and ankles. Plus that I have a hard time walking sometimes because of the feet hurting. I hobble around.
    Well, the doctor comes in, and he gets off on a tangent about my weight. He disagrees with EVERYTHING i say. I must always be wrong.
    Then I say that I have a couple of more things to talk about, and he says that we are out of time, and we are already overtime. I ask how much time we have, and he says 15 minutes. I didn't know that. He is curt with me. I tell him that I am shaking because I feel that he is chastizing me, I would have gotten more to the point if I knew that it was only 15 minutes. He says if my feet hurt I need to take off my shoes and sock, and he blows out the door. Comes back later and says I have plantars fasci......whatever.
    He says,"What am I supposed to do, you come in here complaining about your back, your neck, your hips, and you never told the student dr about your feet . I apologize for having a loust memory, and remind him that I was aslepp and groggy when she came in. I forgot that I did tell her.
    I say that I can't work with someone who is so curt with people. He is still blaming me for the issue.
    I end up in tears. Everyone I run into in the hospital is asking me if I'm alright and I get a crying jag.
    He is the head of Rheumetology and does FM research at a top Boston hospital. DDoctor.
    not going back there.
    I am still shaking.
    Anyone know a good doctor in the Boston area?
    Maybe I'll just stay w my primary even though he doesn't know much.
    [This Message was Edited on 01/13/2003]
  2. karen55

    karen55 New Member

    I'm so sorry you had this experience. Sounds like his status has gone straight to his head. I hate docs like that, and I don't blame you, I wouldn't go back to him. {{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}

    Karen
  3. lisjhn

    lisjhn New Member

    That is totally rude and uncalled for. I would report him and put him on every "bad" doctor list out there.

    Seems like most of the rheumy appts. on this board always end up like this, I know mine was bad too.

    Whats with the rheumies? No "rheum" for care, concern and consideration anymore.

    I'm sorry. There's got to be a good one out there for you somewhere, just keep looking. I've about given up myself.

    ~LISA
  4. Lendi

    Lendi New Member

    I'm so sorry you went through this. That was so uncalled for. Sometimes, I think, Dr.s forget we're people and treat us more like cattle. I would definitely put something in writting and mail it. Even if it goes nowhere, you will feel better. I hope you can find a very compassionate and caring Dr., soon.
    Lendi
  5. joannie1

    joannie1 New Member

    you had to go through that. it is absolutely rediculous the way some of these doctors treat us as patients. I am here to tell you though if it were me... I would be one mad woman one a mission!!! I would write a letter to the hospital he works for and all that jazz. And i would give them ample enough time and then personally contact them to see exactly what was done about this. The way he treated you was absolutely wrong and unprofessional. For one thing, if you had only 15 minutes with him how long did you wait to see him if you were able to fall asleep I am quite sure he was not on schedule with you...
    It is very sad that this had to happen to you. Big Hugs.. Sorry for ranting but Doctors with attitudes get me irritated some.
    Hope you have better days ahead.
    Joannie

    [This Message was Edited on 01/08/2003]
  6. coyote

    coyote New Member

    Thanks so much to everyone who replied.
    It helps a lot to have people understand.
    I can't believe how this got to me.
    Maybe this guy should keep his nose in research. his people skills are lousy.
    I am feeling better and will go to bed soon.
    thanks again......will get some sleep afterall.
    Janet
  7. clueless

    clueless New Member

    Sounds like a doctor I went to see a while ago. He was so curt and intimidating that I told him I could1nt think (fibro fog) when he was so intimidating and he snapped back that if I was intimidated it was my fault. At that point I froze, I had never been treated that way before. He told me to come back and all I said was "no".Then he sked me if it was because of what he said and I would`nt answer him---just left.I got a form letter in the mail a while ago saying that he had a doctor helping him and he would be working only part time because of a family problem. He should have done this before he upset people who are sick coming to him for help.
  8. PUTTER

    PUTTER New Member

    I really think you'll find a lot of so called doctors like that today. Sure hope you find a Dr. that is in it for his patients and the love of being a doctor.
    My Dr. gives me more then 15 min,but doesn't have a clue.
    He believes I have Fibro/cfs because the Neurologist told him.
    But so far he hasn't read up on them or has tried to understand them.I take Neurontin,celebrex, celexa and darvocet (I am allowed 3 a day)no matter if I have a bad day or not. He must think I'll become an addict.I told you he doesn't have a clue.

    I agree with Sunny the pain in your foot sounds like bone spur to me. for heavens sake don't let them even talk about surgery..... If they take an x-ray you will be able to see it yourself,it's so easy to make out on the x-ray.
    If that is the case let us know and I'll give you a great exercise my orthopod gave me and it worked....

    Good luck in finding a doctor.Talk to friends and people that might have a good doctor who truly cares.

    Love and keep your chin up.

    PUTTER/Bobbie
    [This Message was Edited on 01/09/2003]
  9. coyote

    coyote New Member

    Thanks again for all the support. I am sorry to hear about so many of you having bad experiences with doctors, but it is good to know that it isn't just "me".
  10. TinysMom

    TinysMom New Member

    HI--HAVE YOU TRIED A PEDIATRIST--FOOT SPECIALIST? I HAD A BONE SPUR ON MY HEEL, COULD HARDLY WALK ON IT. HE X'RAYED, EXAMINED, AND ORDERED SOME ORTHODICS BY MAKING PLASTER CASTS OF BOTH FEET, NOT JUST THE HURTING ONE. I HAVE BEEN USING THEM FOR OVER 10 YEARS, WITH NO MORE PAIN IN MY HEEL. I AM SOLD!! I DO HAVE, FOR A BOUT 6 YEARS NOW, WEIRD PAINS IN THE TOP OF MY FEET, AND SOMETIMES IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE BONES OUT OF PLACE, THIS PROBLEM IS TAKEN CARE OF BY MY CHIROPRACTOR. I WAS TOLD BY THE PEDIATRIST, THAT EVERYONE LOOSES STRENGTH IN THEIR ARCH AS THEY GET OLDER, ESPECIALLY IF YOUR JOB KEEPS YOU ON YOUR FEET ALOT---ANYWAY, I HOPE YOU CAN GET SOME HELP, I FULLY UNDERSTAND HOW MISERABLE SORE FEET CAN BE! GOOD LUCK. TINYSMOM
  11. Lanie

    Lanie New Member

    One girl online at the Co-cure board had asked me awhile back to ask my Rheumy if he knew anyone that specialized in FM somewhere near New Hamp. she said she was willing to drive a distance. When I asked him, he said the only person he knew was someone in Boston, that was like a head in that department, but he heard that he has gone downhill a lot and turned it all into a factory atmosphere.

    Sounds a lot like the guy you mentioned. How sad that people cannot even depend on the person that is supposed to help them. I wish you luck in finding someone that will listen to you. My Rheumy is awesome but he is in Southington, CT, if you are willing to drive.
    Best wishes,
    Lanie
  12. Quequay

    Quequay New Member

    I couldn't believe what my new doctor was saying, you should see my post on friday. Search under"I give up..." I was so upset that she thinks the pain is in my head and she discounted the 2 years of tests and support from my old doctor. Well after a good cry, some chocolate and lots of support from this board, my spirits lifted and I thought "hey, I'm going to let that health system know what kind of doctor she was" So I sat down and typed out a later outlining my vist and the statements the doctor made to me. I have some tweeking to do on it yet and I hope to have it out tomorrow. I am not going to let this slide. It is unfair to go from an understanding and proactive doctor to one who thinks nothing of your pain. I am on the search for a new doctor also. Keep your head up and know that you are not alone. If you feel up to it try writing to the health care system that treated you. Let them know what happened.
    I hope you are feeling better.
    Kristen
  13. 2BPainfree

    2BPainfree New Member

    I just honestly DON'T get it.

    WHY....are these doctors, who are caliming to specialize in our types of conditions, so incredibly rude, short and non-helpful. Heck...we can read and get more information & compassion from a dictionary.

    Morality with these Doctors has gone down the tubes with the insurances...often times even with private insurance, but especially with HMO's.

    I am a nurse, called Scripps (suppose to be "THE" place to get good help" asked a few other head nurses: "who is the best Rheum that specializes in FM and CFS?"...waited and waited for the appointent date, drove 1 1/2 hrs to get there
    waited for him....and what did I get?? a quick feel over and a "Yup, you have FM"

    Excuse me?????? I already know that!!!!
    I need HELP...S.O.S!!! Doesn't ANYONE who claims to be a specialist actually specialize in HELPING??????


    Just don't get it.

    Coyote, I would report this Doctor. He treated you badly and it's not your fault. You deserve better. There is better out there, it's just that we are complicated cases which overwhem most Doctors. We need to find someone with patience and compassion....keep searching.

    This Doctor obviously has preconveived notions of how "WE" all are. He thought he would take the upper hand and put you in your place. What a A**H*** !!!

    Susan B
  14. kuntryhart

    kuntryhart New Member

    Coyote,
    I went through a simialiar situation with my OLD family Dr. I hadn't seen him in a while, due to insurance changes, and when I went to see him, I was feeling so awful that I was thinking of trying for disability. He let me know that it was all in my head, and on and on.......I too left in tears. I didn't see another Dr for 2 years. That's part of why I was in the shape I was when I finally started seeing another Dr. about 2 months ago. I'm glad I did it though, 'cause I'm getting better! I wasn't sure if I ever would. Shake his dust from your feet, and see someone else! Hang in there,it can get better! Donna 0:)
  15. coyote

    coyote New Member

    Dear 2BPainFree
    I don't get it either. I don't get how he (they) can send in a student doctor to talk with you for a few minutes, then blow in the room, thinking he knows me better than I know myself. He was actually fabricating stuff. I don't know. I would like to say that he just couldn't fit his head through the door, but after reading some of the other postings on this board, I wonder what the heck is happening. My aunt was a nurse years ago, and she constantly says that the medical profession is going down the tubes.
    I am glad to hear a few good things abour doctors here, also.

    Dear Kuntryheart,
    I understand completely what you are saying about not wanting to go back to a doctor. Of course, I will go back, to my PCP, and see what he makes of this. Maybe he can refer someone new.
    I think it's like finding a good spiritual leader or helper. No matter which religion you look at, there are good ones and bad ones. It's just surprising because you expect people in these professions to be, you know, helpful, kind, understanding, etc.
  16. coyote

    coyote New Member

    Dear 2BPainFree
    I don't get it either. I don't get how he (they) can send in a student doctor to talk with you for a few minutes, then blow in the room, thinking he knows me better than I know myself. He was actually fabricating stuff. I don't know. I would like to say that he just couldn't fit his head through the door, but after reading some of the other postings on this board, I wonder what the heck is happening. My aunt was a nurse years ago, and she constantly says that the medical profession is going down the tubes.
    I am glad to hear a few good things abour doctors here, also.

    Dear Kuntryheart,
    I understand completely what you are saying about not wanting to go back to a doctor. Of course, I will go back, to my PCP, and see what he makes of this. Maybe he can refer someone new.
    I think it's like finding a good spiritual leader or helper. No matter which religion you look at, there are good ones and bad ones. It's just surprising because you expect people in these professions to be, you know, helpful, kind, understanding, etc.
  17. mcbarb

    mcbarb New Member

    Hopefully I don't run into the same dr. you had. I have a tentative appt. sched. with a Head of Rheum. dr. north of Boston in March.


    I saw a Rheum. dr. just the other day. I left feeling down. It was my 1st appt. We went over a history of everything. Everything points to fibro. However, he wasn't convinced after the physical exam that day because I wasn't in screaming pain.(not that I ever am) He says that someone with fibro would be so tender and the tender points that they would be jumping in pain. Since I didn't show any signs of that, he couldn't prescribe anything but 500 mg of naprosyn. I'm to call him when I have a bad day and come back in. My days are just everyday crummy-achy days. What about you guys? In the mean time muddle along being achy, tired, cranky, hurting all the time.
  18. northwoodssue

    northwoodssue New Member

    Dear Coyote:
    Sorry you had to go thru all that with that inconsiderate jerk!!! Hopefully, you will find another doctor. Don't give up! There's got to be one out there. Try agood, recommended general practioner. If they listen, are compassionate, then they are much better than a "qualified rheumatologist".
    I went to one for a couple of years, til one day he asked me if I was tired. I said yes, and he said" So, you're one of THOSE tired women, huh? I had my feelings hurt and never went back. I should of had more backbone andtold him what I thought about him!!! but was not as outgoing then. I have a good internal medicine doctor, specializes in heart conditions, but continues to keep me even with my fms - not his speciality. He is compassionate, listens, and tries his best to keep me comfortable - he also found my fms first!! But, he holds no weight with the SSD board, as he's not a rheumy!
    About the feet. Mine have started hurting on the bottoms and especially in the am or when I have been sitting for a while. This is new and causes me to walk with a hobble, and alot of pain. So maybe it's a part of fibro afterall????
    good luck
    sue