URGENT prayer needed -freaking out

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by daylight, Oct 14, 2009.

  1. daylight

    daylight New Member

    Help I'm freaking out here. My husband just got accepted a job . For only 9.50 a hour! and it's not guaranteed 40 hours week not that that matters none we still want have enough to live on. Plus his orientation is tomorrow morning at the same time my MRI is scheduled! I don't drive ! and my family is 45 minutes away from us. I'm freaking out.

    If he takes this job we will be homeless . There are no apartment were we live or anywhere under 900 a months.In california they are raising the rent here because people can't afford even the cheapest home so landlord are taking advantage.

    There more I just recently got my medicare approved to start this January. Now I won't be able to take cause we will need ever cent we can get ,so I'll be penalized (charged a fee from social securty for not takeing it) and I won't be able to re-enroll until 2011.
    And because he'll be making more than 935 a month we don't qualify for food stamps or medi-cal ins. . I'll be without meds for a year and I also have RA and spinal problem plus probable MS.

    His income will only cover our rent and we have no family or friend that will take us in. I'm beyond scared . And my husband is p/o at my cussing at me for not (as he see it) supportive. He thinks that he'll be getting a raise right away but even IF it true it we'll more than likely only be for .50 cents more. His job is a evening stocker at a grocery store. He went from making 27.00 a hour to this (is was a carpenter) .He won't even talk to me know. and we have to pay our bills today and he has to get car insurance today (before the 21st ) or the dmv will take his license and the car loan will be revoked .

    I would reschedule the MRI but now that he is taking this job we have only 10 day to let med-cal know that he has a job . And they will cancel the insurance at the time of that call.

    I am really having a hard time see Gods will here and desperately need prayers . I am so scared and its hard to stop crying.

    Please ,please pray for us.

    Thank so much D.
  2. windblade

    windblade Active Member

    Praying for you! What a misery you are going through. Have put little pieces of paper around house and post-its with your name on them, to remind me to keep shooting up prayers.

    I'm so, so sorry that you are going through all this.

    Will keep praying.

    Love, Judy
  3. daylight

    daylight New Member

    Thank you for your prayers. I did get some good news. My Aunt is borrowing some money to drive up and take me to the MRI tomorrow. It will be good seeing her.

    But my husband is still really angry at me.
  4. windblade

    windblade Active Member


    So glad your Aunt is taking you for your MRI - so kind of her.

    It is so, so stressfull just to live with someone close to you being angry - or venting their anger at you!

    I have been lifting you up much in prayer - have your name by my computer - in my kitchen, and will write one more for beside me when I take a rest now.

    I wish I could think of something else to say to help you - but sometimes I just say to the Lord "HELP" when things are really bad. He knows my struggles, and what kind of condition I'm in, and all the pain.

    There are others praying too, and I am praying for more to come beside you in all of this. It is so complex!

    Lord, help Daylight in all of her needs! In the Name of Jesus, our beloved. Amen.


    Daylight,keep writing in here - does that help at all? God is hearing, and he cares!

    Will be petitioning for you.

    Love, Judy

  5. daylight

    daylight New Member

    It sure does help.My husband is a least listening to me now but he still doesn't understand why I don't care for his decision. Homeless or having him work 2 jobs doesn't appeal to me much.
    He's the only person I have here that can help me out in need and with him always gone its going to be a problem . He see the problem but he doesn't care to much about finding a reasonable solution. He could have gotten a hire paying job but he waited to long and didn't follow up on his job applications. Now he has sunk so low that he does think anyone will pay him more than 9.50 hr .
    He thinks that I won't support him but that's all I do anymore. I gave up my life to help him succeed and then the recession hit hard . I gave up my friends and family so that he could live next to his family . He's even on the worship team,goes to men's groups,the weekends are for church only. I don't even have friends or really a husband now . We are just co existing.
    But if you talk to our pastor he'll tell you that I'm a controlling,and unsupportive. And our lovely pastor only sees me maybe for 2 hours a week and then doesn't talk to me . Pastor and our small church only believe what my husband wants them to believe.

    I'm sorry for venting. It's just been to much.
  6. springwater

    springwater Active Member

    sorry to hear of your problems...seems like a lot of people being affected in the same way..
    due to this recession.

    You seem to not want him to take this job..but isnt a job better than no job? Why dont you
    write down the pros and cons and compare.

    A man finding himself in this position may be feeling very grumpy..maybe that is why he is
    behaving in this manner...why is he not finding you supportive? Do you shout at him? Why is
    the pastor against you?

    It seems your relationship may be in trouble if this goes on. Maybe both of you could just
    calm down and accept that this is a rough time for you both and for the majority of people
    out there. Its better to try and ride out the storm, than lose it and end up fighting.

    I wish you did not have to deal with illness at times like this...I can understand your worry...
    really glad to know an aunt is driving u up to your MRI apptmtnt.

    I am praying for you and your husband to get thru this..for your MRI results to show youre
    all right...for a better paying job to come along and the housing problems to sort themselves
    out.

    Windblade - Judy, your post about leaving post it notes as a reminder to pray, touched me so much.

    And I do believe God listens to the pure of heart.

    God Bless




  7. daylight

    daylight New Member

    Hi ,
    Its not that I don't want him to have a job its just this job pay only 9.50 an hour and its not guaranteed 40 hours a week . He's make a lot more on the unemployment but I don't think that he should stay on the much longer either. He's had a lot of time to look for a job but choose to sit on the coach and watch tv while others looked for him. He had opportunities for a better paying job,he just didn't follow up on those leads.
    At this low of pay he'll have to take a second job so that we'll be able to pay for just our very basic needs. car ins,food, gas ,elec and phone. With this job low pay it may pay for the rent but not much more.
    As for my pastor he believes that women are to serve their husband ,never have an opinion,cook, clean ,baby, and heaven help us if we get sick we must be sinning. He believe that women are always trying to control men by nature. So because he believes these things ,we don't see eye to eye on very many subjects. But my husband is friends with him so that's all that matters. We have a very small church and its my belief that if things don't change in some peoples hearts things are just going to get worse .
    It hurts that I can't trust my pastor or my husband these days but I am in it for the long haul.

    The MRI today went fine . We did get lost trying to find the place but all went well. Hopefully we'll know something soon.
    Its just been to much going on to fast in the past 2 weeks . I just got out of the hospital a week ago . Found out that I have a large hernia and infection in my stomach and now this all is going on. The storm is blownin hard here. But we'll make somehow.
  8. daylight

    daylight New Member

    Things just got worse! My husband just came home and said that they are only giving him part time hours! Plus they made him shave all his facial hair . Which may not seem like a big thing to most people but my husband weight 290lbs and is bald.Not a really good looking man as it was and now I can't stand to look at him. I know that this sound really mean but with his anger problem that little goti was helping .

    I know I sound petty but this day has been a nightmare. It just seems like one slap in the face after another.

    please don't hate me for writing this ,its just been too much to handle.
  9. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    I'm so sorry all this has happened and I'm praying for guidance to help you and your husband. This is a difficult time for both of you.

    I'd like you to look at this through different eyes. It can be totally devastating to a person to lose a job and it can crush self esteem and self worth. Many have gone through that. Some men feel value and self worth when working and do not want to receive welfare or aid.

    It probably felt so good to get that job and he felt like a real man again. <B

    Back in 2002 I was let go from a law firm and when I asked for the reason they said there was no reason for it (later I found out they were punishing the attorney because he goofed up and they punished him by taking away his good secretary/paralegal--me--and gave him someone from arrived from another state who knew nothing about law so the attorney either dove in and really worked hard or he was out). It was an "at will employment" state so they could let me go with no reason. It made it hard to get work again. I had my mom living with me and I was supporting her. It crushed my spirit and self esteem and I took a job paying less just so I could get working again.

    AND I was spending so much time looking for another job, there was no time to apply for unemployment and food stamps. I was out all day, every day going everywhere applying, going to interviews, even going to interviews on jobs that would be opening up in a month or two. I was truly out hitting the pavement. I regret that I didn't stop and apply for unemployment and food stamps as it would have helped, but I felt such desparation with being the sole support of another person.

    Losing a job is very difficult when you are the sole support of a household, like I was, and I was so mad and upset that the employer would treat my job so frivolous and let me go just to punish an attorney when I did nothing wrong and I had worked so hard for them--and I had someone I was supporting financially. It was so wrong in so many ways.


    [This Message was Edited on 10/16/2009]
  10. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    Dear lady, I am shocked at all the problems you are having at one time! I am so sorry for both of you.

    I have already prayed for you, and will continue to do so untill the Lord resolves some of these horrible problems you have.

    Put all your trust in the Lord, and do not fight with your husband, I am sure he feels he is doing the right thing. Like any job is better than no job. Please, just put all your trust in the Lord, try not to worry about what is going on around you! Keep your heart and mind focused on HIM! YOu need a miracle.

    I had no idea things were that bad, with the Medicare sounds horrible, so do the foodstamps, and your meds being cut off. They are not giving anyone a break to get on their feet before they are cutting them off!

    I know California is in a very bad way, but I didn't know they cut a man's wages like that! How terrible.

    My daughter is a realestate agent (I am in Louisiana), and she has people from California seeing her ad's on the computer, and are calling her to buy homes here, some even will send a payment to hold the house without even seeing it! It is really amazing.

    There is work down here for carpenters, plumbers, roofers, etc. they still have not gotten things straight from KAtrina! So work is very available in those areas.

    Rent is high though, its cheaper to buy a house (the mortgage note is cheaper than paying rent).

    Will keep you in my prayers daily, untill you let me know how things are going for you.

    I am still in shock by your post!

    God bless you hon, and know that you are being prayed for.


    Shalom, Shirl

  11. daylight

    daylight New Member

    Thank you ,
    Yesterday was a bad day . Today's better. My husband and I are talking somewhat now.
    It just been a lot to take in all at once. I explained to him that I was upset because he had not included my in the decision making process . When he'd told me everything yesterday(after the fact) it felt as though I was watching a movie of someone else's life.
    Its always been difficult for him to include people in making decisions .Hubs is bipolar and tends to be implosive . I do understand why he took the job and I'm glad that he is working . Its just I wish that he's picked one of the others that payed better .
    He has a very bad ankle that is fusing and standing for hours is really gone to hurt him. Plus now he'll have to get some side job. Well make it through . I wish that I could work. Really miss it but not the drama.
  12. poetrist

    poetrist Member

    D,

    Look online for the companies that make your medications and search for the free medication programs and forms. You can have your doctor fill these out and fax to the pharmaceuticals. Ask your doctor for free medications. Check with the United Way and local area for free groceries, assistance with paying rent and utilities. Request payment schedules for utilities. Find out about Section 8 living arrangements.

    List the priorities with the bills on paper and find out who can accept whatever amount. Meals on Wheels provides transportation for people who need to see physicians.

    Look to God to cope with your problem and not as his will for you to suffer. You will find more peace in knowing how to cope and keep your hope.

    There are ways to your needs at this time. You just need to get the phone numbers and call.

    have peace

    poetrist
  13. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    HUD Section 8: You usually apply through your City/Town housing office. You usually take the birth certificates of all involved, the social security cards of all involved and a utility bill (like electric or natural gas) to prove you live there and that it is in your name). You get put on a waiting list and disabled and senior citizens get priority. Don't put off applying simply because there is a wait list. It could come through for you.

    Here are other resources:

    To find your local NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) and seek support groups, and possible free/low cost mental health care, check out the safe site below:

    http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=Your_Local_NAMI&Template=/CustomSource/AffiliateFinder.cfm

    Below is a site for free health clinics. Go on the link and then click on your state, then scroll down to find a location near you.

    http://www.uniteforsight.org/freeclinics.php?state=MI&statename=Michigan Find out if you have to make an appointment or if you have to just show up and wait in line.

    Some churches will help you, even if you do not attend church there.

    If you are sick, injured or in pain, go to a public hospital and they are not permitted to turn you away.

    As to prescriptions, I don't know if they will provide free prescriptions.

    Here are some sites where you can apply for free/low cost prescriptions but it takes a while to get them and you have to have paperwork filled out and your doctor (the clinic) would have to sign the paperwork too.

    PPA/Partnership for Prescription Assistance - Brings together America’s pharmaceutical companies, doctors, patient advocacy organizations and civic groups to help low-income, uninsured patients get free or nearly free brand-name medicines.

    Needymeds.com - Organization which helps patients learn about patient assistance programs. THEY CAN NOT ANSWER CALLS CONCERNING INDIVIDUAL REQUESTS FOR ASSISTANCE, they can provide information only. They are not a provider.

    RX Assist - Searchable database by company, brand name, generic name and drug class which includes eligibility and application instructions.

    RX Hope - The only patient assistance Internet initiative financially supported by PhRMA (Pharmaceutical and Research Manufacturers of America) and participating pharmaceutical companies.

    RX Outreach


    Here are sites for and about low cost/no cost prescriptions. You can go to the bottom of the page for the safe link and when you go into the link you can pick which one and click and it will take you there.

    ------------------------------------------

    Benefits Check Up - Provides individuals 55 and over with a confidential personalized report of public and private programs that can help save money on prescription drugs.

    Canada Pharmacy.com - Need some cost breaks on your scrips? Try out-of-country.

    RX 4US - By negotiating on your behalf with a network of licensed Canadian pharmacies they bring you good prices and reliable Canadian drug service.

    Costco Pharmacy Online - Online pharmacy to purchase drugs, vitamins and get health info.

    Consumer Reports Best Buy Drugs - Reports and information to guide consumers and doctors in making more cost effective prescription drug choices.

    Consumer Reports Drug Reports - Combines an expert review of the scientific evidence on prescription drugs with their prices. Compare and contrast prescription drugs by category - that is, drugs in the same class that are used to treat a specific condition or illness such as high blood pressure, high cholesterol, allergies, coronary artery disease, heartburn or depression. The reports can be easily and quickly downloaded as attractive PDFs to print out and discuss with your doctor.

    Disability Resources.org Prescription Drug Resources -

    Indigent Prescription Programs -

    FDA – Buying Medicines And Medical Products Online -

    FDA – Consumer Education - What You Should Know About Buying and Using DrugProducts -

    FDA – Saving Money On Prescription Drugs -

    FreeDrugCard.us - Sponsored by a non-profit organization to help all Americans cut their prescription drug costs. Simply download your FREE Prescription Drug Card and receive savings of up to 75% at more than 50,000 national and regional pharmacies. This Prescription Card is not Insurance, is pre-activated and can be used immediately.

    Free Medicine Program - Helps patients in obtaining prescription drugs and medications absolutely free of charge.

    Helping Patients - Interactive website designed to help providers/patients find patient assistance programs

    Medicare Prescription Drug Info Search - Allows you to search for programs (both private and government) based on where you live

    Guide to Choosing a Medicare Approved Drug Discount Card -

    Medication Foundation - Information clearinghouse for low cost and no cost prescription drug programs.

    Medicine for Free - NOTE: This site charges a $9.99 subscription fee

    Medicine Express - Designed to help senior citizens or anyone who does not have any prescription coverage and are having trouble financially obtaining the medicines they need.

    State Pharmaceutical Assistance Programs -

    Needymeds.com - Organization which helps patients learn about patient assistance programs. THEY CAN NOT ANSWER CALLS CONCERNING INDIVIDUAL REQUESTS FOR ASSISTANCE, they can provide information only. They are not a provider.

    Pfizer Sharecard - Pfizer Sharecard is especially beneficial for Medicare recipients and provides Pfizer Pharmaceuticals at a greatly reduced rate. Take the qualification test to see if you can benefit.

    PharmacyChecker.com - Compare prescription drug prices for more than 1,000 medications.

    PHRMA/Pharmaceutical Research and Mfgs. of America - Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America, a detailed listing of programs and contacts.

    QDrug.com - Info on state and federal funded prescription programs

    RX Assist - Searchable database by company, brand name, generic name and drug class which includes eligibility and application instructions.

    RX Hope - The only patient assistance Internet initiative financially supported by PhRMA (Pharmaceutical and Research Manufacturers of America) and participating pharmaceutical companies.

    RX Outreach -

    America’s Guide to Save – Buying Prescription Drugs Online -

    ScriptSave - The ScriptSave card offers prescription drug savings for the entire household, as well as free access to health and wellness information.

    Medicine Program.com - An organization which assists patients, with help from the physicians, to enroll in patient assistance programs.

    Together RX Access Card - A free prescription-savings card for eligible residents of the United States and Puerto Rico who have no prescription drug coverage.

    Medical Discounts International Inc -

    AAA Prescription Savings Program - Free with AAA membership. Save average of 20% on prescriptions. No deductables or co-pays. Simply present your AAA Prescription Savings card at a participating pharmacy for the discount.

    BenefitsCheckUpRX -

    PPA/Partnership for Prescription Assistance - The Partnership for Prescription Assistance brings together America's pharmaceutical companies, doctors, other health care providers, patient advocacy organizations and community groups to help qualifying patients who lack prescription coverage get the medicines they need through the public or private program that's right for them. Many will get them free or nearly free. To access the Partnership for Prescription Assistance by phone, you can call toll-free at 1-888-477-2669.

    [This Message was Edited on 10/18/2009]
  14. daylight

    daylight New Member

    Wow you are awesome! This quite a list . Thank you so much .
    Definitely will be looking into prescription drug help . Need that . We already check into section 8 in our area and unfortunately it's about a 2 year waiting list. But as soon as my husband starts making a bit more a his new job we will look into hud homes. Right now they are only giving him partime hours at 9.50 an hour. They said that they give raises of .30 to .75 after you've completed 500hrs . . But hubs says that just as soon as there is a dry walling job that come available he's out of there. Much better pay with that and its want he loves doing.
    Hubby needs prayer though . He's very depressed about all this. His ankle is hurting him really bad and they made him shave his facial hair . He's feeling a bit ugly . And I feel cheating on him with another man ,he looks totally different. lol. He said that he's going to ask for the rule to be changed . His manager is also wanting a change in that rule as it is a bit silly. I can see it for food servers but not stockers ,checkers or managers. Long as they keep the hair neat and tidy.

    Hubby is bipolar so this is a big thing for him. Any changes seem to rock his world a little . But we are doing a little better . He still doesn't want to talk about anything and he won't look at me . Its all pretty hard on him. God will get is through.
  15. windblade

    windblade Active Member


    How are you doing today? Poetrist and TwoCatDoctors came up with an amazing amount of ideas. I'm going to copy it all for myself also.

    I've been thinking that it must be so hurtful for your Pastor to have that point of view that illness is a sin!!! I have an 'Encouragement Bible' with comments by Joni Eareckson Tada, a quadriplegic from a diving accident at the age of 17. Some of the greatest encouragement that I've received has come from people with afflictions of all kinds.

    They have a depth that I know I can trust. They've lived through it all.

    And I see here on these boards such a great amount of compassion, empathy, help when someone is in need.

    I wouldn't choose suffering for myself, or for others! But I see God working in people's lives in a great way!


    Hope you are healing up from that recent hospital stay and infection.

    Still praying,
    Love, Judy
  16. daylight

    daylight New Member

    Your so sweet thank you. Its been hard to deal with my come in our church . I've had the reaction from other in the church before . I was born with an eye condition (stabismus) and weak muscles. Was always clumsy. lol Always felt like God made a mistake with me but I know better. I've had a very hard life . Which is good in a way. Makes one be able to relate to others in need and I used to a good counselor . But God doesn't use me much these days other than on the internet. The church doesn't seem to have much need for me in the last few years. And my singing has stopped due to spasms. I really miss that alot.
    In a strange way being sick with MCTD and possible MS keeps me in the loop . Feel like I belong somewhere. Just wish that I could drive or a least be able to get a bus to pick me up so that I could volunteer somewhere. Its hard staying at home all the time . I've forgotten who I am.
    Just don't want to be this sick person that no one wants around or that they pity .
    I'm broken not died yet.
    Gee I'm having a mini pity party sorry all.
  17. windblade

    windblade Active Member


    Isn't that funny - when I came here a while ago, I had such a strong urge to pray for your husband! That was before I saw your post above asking for prayer. Definitely the Holy Spirit. I surely will pray for him - already added his name to my reminder slips :)

    I feel like a lot of what I do of importance is pray here on the boards. It means practically nothing to most people, but I'm blessed with a few understanding friends who are treasures. And they value prayer also. Which encourages me.

    What is MCTD? Sorry, I'm not familiar - unless it's my brain fog. Caring for people here is just as important than at church or elsewhere, because everyone is struggling so.

    I can relate to your husband because I suffer from clinical depression, and PTSD, which keeps me on a roller coaster - mood wise. Depression is so horrible to deal with - and I can so easily get hyper - which is a misery to handle. I think he's doing very well to keep trying!

    I have this image from a Leonard Cohen song, about light flowing through the broken cracks. Somehow God does that with us.

    I hope you'll think of us at least partly as your church - part of the Body of Christ, where you can belong!

    Rest up well from all this stress, and your recent hospitalization.

    Love, Judy
  18. jole

    jole Member

    I haven't been on this board much lately, and just read your posts. I'm so very sorry you're having to go through so much right now, and I too will be praying for you. God knows your every hurt, every fear, and every desire. He will stay beside you and see you through this. I'm sure you may wonder at times if He's there, but He is. And He cares more deeply than we know.

    Sometimes when things are the worst, I find it hard to pray. But my friends here on this site will take over for me and pray until things get better. So let us help you as much as we can through prayer, and you just keep Jesus in your heart, okay?

    I understand so well the feeling of wanting to be able to be useful...to be able to drive...to help someone....there are days when I feel I just "exist" and that's it. But then something will happen and I know we can still make a difference to someone...just as you have, by reaching out to us and giving us a reason to care about someone! Thank you...

    You and your husband are good people, going through bad times right now, but know what? I'm very proud of your husband for wanting to work......he still has dignity and respect left...and as he works, he may meet someone or find another opportunity that he wouldn't have otherwise. God has a plan...........somehow, sometime, it will all work out.

    Wishing you much inner peace......will continue to pray.........love ya........Jole