Urgent prayer request

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by micke, Mar 19, 2002.

  1. micke

    micke New Member

    Hi everybody, I'm a Christian and new to this board. I have a 26 old son who is an alcoholic/drug addict. He has 3 small boys ages 4,3, & 2 mo.

    Clay, my son, has been using since he was 12 years old. He's been in treatment centers many times, both as an adolescent and an adult. I have been praying for him all these years as well as my church family and many others. Things just aren't getting any better. Over the past 4 or 5 years, he has been getting out of control very frequently...putting lives in danger, being abusive, etc. Everytime the phone rings, I fear something really bad has happened.

    I am really, really worn out dealing with one crisis after another in addition to have FM/CFS. There is so much more about dealing with my son I couldn't even begin to tell you. My heart is breaking. I want my "real" son back. I want him to have a chance at a norman life and I want him to be a good father, a Christian father. He has turned to God a times over the years, but then gets angry when God doesn't take away his addiction overnight. He doesn't see that God doesn't always perform miracles when we ask. Sometimes he has a different plan for our lives. Sometimes that may involve making hard choices which will take time...God's time.

    Please pray for me, my son and our families. I'm having a hard time keeping the faith today.

    Love, Micke

  2. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    First let me welcome you to our board Micke, so glad you have found us. You will no doubt get a lot of response for your prayer request for your precious son, a lot of us are where you are, or we have been there too.

    The drugs and alcohol are the devils biggest tools for the young people in these days.

    I had problems years ago with my sons, but let me assure you, they are both find family men now, all the thanks for their very lives goes to God and His Mercy.

    There is nothing that God can't do! I have already added Clay's name in my book of prayer requests(I keep a small blank book instead of a list on paper) and he will stay there untill I hear from you that he is free of these addictions.

    I know what you are going through, therefore I can pray for Clay as I did for my own. I know that miserable feeling when that phone used to ring too, I would freeze, and pray a quick prayer before I answered it more times than I can remember!

    My son will tell you now, the only reason he is alive is that his Mother never once gave up on him and never stopped praying and asking for prayer from any church or christan she met!

    Be assured of my continued prayer, also will pray for you, and his young children.

    God bless you, and answer all your prayers as soon as possible for you son. Just keep the faith, knowing that what you are asking for is surely the Will of God. We simply need to wait for His perfect timing.

    Please come to the board anytime you feel the need, we will support you on a human basic as much as we can, and pray with you too.

    Shalom, Shirl




    [This Message was Edited on 03/19/2002]
  3. Harmony

    Harmony New Member

    Micke, Welcome to the Worship Board! It's great to have you here with us.

    I'm sorry you are having a hard time dealing with your son and his years of addiction. It's got to be a big concern and also for your grandchildren.

    Remember, you do have your faith. Praise God for the Christian influence you are. No one can take that away from you. God is with you and will be your strength to get through this. God does perform miracles in our life and can for Clay but he has to be willing to submit to Him. We can never understand fully God's timing and His ways but we can be assurred that His ways are perfect and He is in control. Even when things look bleek, remember, God is there with you. The best you can do is what you have been doing and that is praying for him. God will bless your prayers.
    All we can do is leave our children in God's hands, turn them over to Him. Sounds like you've done all you can. God will not forget him.

    Do you get to see the grandchildren much? Do you live close by? How is his wife? I do think something needs to be done to see that the abuse stops.

    Please feel free to post anytime and let us know how things are.

    I will be in prayer for you, Clay and the family!

    Hugs,
    Harmony


    [This Message was Edited on 03/19/2002]
    [This Message was Edited on 03/19/2002]
  4. micke

    micke New Member

    Shirl and Harmony and also, to hear your kind and soothing words. It's great to make new friends who believe in the power of prayer.

    Shirl, you on track about that devil. He's roaming around ready to devour us if we crack the door.....and he's smart enough to know many of the young have the door wide open.

    Praise God your sons are free from their addictions. I pray God will shower you and them with His blessings. You testimony gives me hope and courage. Thank you for sharing with me. It means a lot to have you pray for my son.

    Harmony, I appreciate your words of encouragement. Grandchildren are a 1 & 1/2 hour drive away. I try to go see them about every other week. Clay has no license...DWI. Last year we all lived in the same town and I saw them most everyday. I really miss them.

    You asked about Clay's wife. Lot's of problems there too. She couldn't handle the abuse and turned to another man about 2 years ago. Now, Clay lives with his girlfriend who is the mother of his 2 mo. old son. They have Clay's two older boys everyother week. Things are just a big mess. Please pray for their protection.

    I am so exhaused...no sleep last night...too tired to think now....will talk again later.

    Thank you for your concern and prayers. I will continue to pray................Micke
  5. micke

    micke New Member

    Hi everyone,

    I'm feeling much better today. Thank you for your prayers.

    The past 2 days have been rough, one crisis after another, but, the Lord has been with me and my family to help us pull through. Things are calming down now.

    This was a really bad binge of drugs and alcohol...Clay gets crazy with both. I was ready to move the baby and his girlfriend in with me. Thankfully my middle grandson's mother picked him up and won't bring either of the two older boys back to visit their father until he is sober.

    Clay says he doesn't want to be sober. He says he'll give up one or the other, but not both. His excuse is that he won't have anything to do if he isn't using. That's the weird warped thinking he having. Some people would give up a lot to have a family like his. He won't give up drups to keep his.

    This just proves the devil has a furious grip on him and doesn't want to let go. I don't know a lot about deliverance, but I know that's what Clay needs. A good Christian friend of mine says its serious business and you need a lot of strong Christians praying for him. We're in a new town and just getting ready to join a church here. I need to discuss this with the pastor.

    I praise God for his faithfulness in this situation. I know He will be there to see me through. I am trying my best to be strong and courageous.

    Have a blessed day,
    micke

    [This Message was Edited on 03/22/2002]
  6. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    Thank you for the update. Will continue to pray for you, Clay and the children.

    Glad you have a pastor to talk with.

    You son needs to see the world with out that haze of drugs and liquor that is fogging his view. He has his whole life before him, and he just can't see it right now.

    Continuing to pray and thanking the Lord is what is needed for Clay, no matter what he is saying or doing.

    Give the Lord a free hand in dealing with your son.

    God bless, and be assured of my continued prayer for him.

    Shalom, Shirl

  7. Willingbutweak

    Willingbutweak New Member

    Hi and welcome. Sorry I missed you earlier. I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you and your family too.
  8. micke

    micke New Member

    Thank you all for your prayers. It's so good to belong to the body of Christ where all are working together for the glory of God.

    Shirl, you're right about me needing to letting God have a free hand in dealing with Clay. So many times I have given him over to God and later taken him back trying to fix things myself. It's so HARD.

    God bless you all. You are in my prayers.

    Love,
    micke
  9. kasha

    kasha New Member

    Dear Micke, My heart goes out to you and your family. Has your son ever gone toNarcotics Anyonmos bad spelling or AA. Na has changed my sons life who is also an addict. He had to hit rock bottom though. My prayers are withyou. Love Kathy
  10. RoseTx

    RoseTx New Member

    Micke, I have three children. I waged a very personel war on drugs for thirty years. I prayed, paid thousands for counseling for the children and the entire family. I paid their bail, got them out of jail, flushed dope down the john, stayed awake for months and months on end wondering where they were, I cried, I begged, I pleaded with them and with God and here is what I have learned: God will not force anyone to heaven. Our children are really God's children and even God will not and cannot take away anyone's free agency to choose their own way of life. Some addicts/alcholics will hit the bottom and decide for themselves that they want to change their life. Some will just hit bottom and stay there. As a mother I loved thinking I could make a difference... an ego thing. But only the addict and God can make the difference. We can only pray for our children and ask God to bless them in anyway possible. Everytime I pulled my children out of the muck, I took away the consequences. The muck is a natural consequence of making wrong choices. I know your pain. I hear you cry our that you want a normal life and you want your son to be a God fearing man. Micke, I am sorry to tell you this... It may not happen. All you can do is pray for your son and for your own health, I really urge you to get into a parent's group... I don't know what is in your area. I am in the San Antonio area and for years attended weekly group sessions with the Palmer Drug Abuse Program (PDAP). I learned there that when we are dealing with an addict, we are not dealing with our children, we are dealing with a chemical reaction. If I sound harsh to you, it is because I have learned that the best help we can be to our children, our family, our neighbors, friends and even our church and God is to take care of ourselves first. As selfish as this may seem, we can not help anyone until we have helped ourselves. It is called Tough Love. You do not have to let this man (your son) dictate how you will live. You can simply back out and pray for him morning, noon and night and hold onto him with your prayers. But you do not have to live in this constant confussion. You do not have to buy in to the crap he produces by his actions. No where in the Scriptures does it say that Grand Mother's should raise up their grandchildren in the way they should go. Your son can produce children faster than you can raise them. I know I will get many notes disagreeing with me and that is fine. I chose not to continue to live with with the insanity that my children produced. I chose this after 30 years of the war. Now, we are estranged. I do not know where they are and I pray constantly that they will decide to live good lives AND I PRAY THAT THEY WILL STAY OUT OF MY LIFE BECAUSE I SIMPLY CAN NOT DEAL WITH ANY MORE PAIN. I am a good God Fearing woman. I teach a class of children on Sauday. I read my scriptures and pray constantly. If you go back and read the Prodigal Son, you will find that the father waited and watched for his son. He did not follow his son around begging and pleading with him to come home. The son finally decided to come home on his own and he did not expect to receive ANOTHER inheritance from his father. But he came home... not only to his father's home but he came home to God.... because that was his choice. My e address if you want to contact me is jimlocke@myexcel.com Love and Hugs, Rose
  11. LBinCA

    LBinCA New Member

    Hello Micke,

    You are truly an inspiration. By the sharing your story, and hearing of your request, I am reminded that the Lord is Great! I hesitate sharing this with anyone, but I am going forth so that you know that the Lord hears us! He is my Strength, pure and simple. He hears us, if we simply put everything in His Hands and His will be done, Clay will come back to the one thing he knows - Jesus Christ. I am a Recovering Alcoholic, 4 years sober, ONLY SOBER BY THE GRACE OF GOD. I live with severe Fibro, had back surgery and been through more crud than anyone can imagine. I accepted the Lord at the age of 12, somehow when I knew I wanted more out of life, the Lord made it possible for me to take the step, go into ReHab and get the help I needed. I had somefallbacks, but can say this, I am alcohol-free for 4 years because The Lord took care of me. He will take care of Clay, and the Childre, you need to turn it over to God, trust with the faith of a Mustard Seed (sometimes that all we have to give, when in so much pain ourselves) and God will work on Clay's heart. This is a PROMISE. I am living-proof of this testament. You keep your chin and eyes to Heaven, we will send up prayers as well. Get ready for miracles! God Bless and my Prayers go forward, LoriB
  12. Cactuslil

    Cactuslil New Member

    This area is one of the few Rose and I have ever quibbled about but I sustain what she has had to do for her life and I know she sustains me.

    Now. Here is my understanding.

    Eight years ago two missionaries knocked on this heathen's door. My two daughter's were grown; my son was I think around 2-years of age. I was not on speaking terms w/my oldest and had already given her the last $50. I had; she could use it to come "home" (geographically speaking) or whatever she wanted but that was it, el fine!

    Two years later, I learned I had to make straight my relationship with her before I could be baptised. Oh, how I wanted that issue to be left alone! Two years.....no problems. Wrong. I had failed to go to her, as directed in Matthew and elsewhere, to lay my grievance at her feet. Well, that was indeed a start to a different relationship. Before my baptism, we prayed together, my whole family prayed; all had grand misgivings about my taking up a lifestyle with Christ as the head.

    Well. With Rose's suggestions along the way I found what I believe to be how He wants me to deal with MY situation. First off, my stewardship with my two daughters is over! One is 32, the other 27, fixing to be 28. Some years ago now, with an idea given by dear Rose, I imagined wrapping these two daughters of mine, in beautiful, lovely wrapping paper et cetera and placed each at the feet of the Savior. It is sad and unfortunate that my girls did not have the benefit of being raised in a God-fearing home; but that time is past. I have done what I have done and it is right, proper and I believe spiritually correct, to allow them each to have a life that they are responsible for.

    I love my daughters and they know this. They also know they are responsible and however sorry I am for their perceived demented childhoods, that is yesterday. Go forward not backwards. I let them be. I let them know regularly that I love them...and if there is to be any bullpoop it will not be inside the walls of my home! They both know I will dial 911 in a new york minute if I get screwed with!! Thank heavens I have mellowed since my baptism as I was a tad radical.

    When Christ said let the dead bury the dead that applied to all humanity as I understand it. The dead were the folk that chose not to follow the teachings of Christ, Jehovah, Yawah. Further He said he came to bring a sword that would separate families. Although it does not have to happen that way, He knew that it did, and it would, through the great span of time prior to the next coming.

    Don't beat yourself up because your emancipated child choses not to do as you would prefer. At this point it is his/her nickle being spent. You did the best you could with the resources and knowledge you possessed at the time! Further,

    if you believe those children are in harm's way, truly believe that, then think about discussing this with a social worker or someone in authority that can address solutions. Again, pray and search the scriptures; what does Christ teach?

    I have a 12 year old grandson I have not seen since he was in the custody of child protective services....almost 8 years now. This knowledge hurts BUT I have learned from it..

    I suspected abuse, in the form of neglect, almost since the day he was born. I did not have the courage to pick up the telephone and turn a complaint in against my daughter! My grandson has deficiencies, mental and physical deficiencies. Some I believe he may have been born with but some I think came from shaking baby syndrome administered out of ignorance by his father. My grandson will be 13 next month. Tina (not the mother, my other daughter) and I send stuff and pics to him and his paternal grandparents who are raising him, send us things.
    BUT
    when this all came down (I was not yet a follower) I knew, KNEW, I could not benefit him to the extent he would need help. But I should have at the least turned in an inquiry and allow someone other than myself, to make a determination.

    Life is tough! Rose is right. You must first take care of yourself before you can take on someone else's problems.

    I will sincerely pray for you. These are tough things and please do not be mad at me!! The views expressed are my own and may not be applicable to your situation at all. Just like our illness'; they are different to different folk. Love Lil'
  13. Sheli

    Sheli New Member

    I am sorry that I missed your request, as I have not been here for a couple of days. You and your family are in my prayers...I know that when things seem the most difficult, there always seems to be light at the end of the tunnel. I will share with you something that my pastor shared with me just this past Monday morning when we went to him for some counsel...it has helped me tremendously and I hope that it helps you too.

    He told us that during our teachings all throughout the years, we were probably taught that perhaps there was something wrong in our lives and in our relationship with God when we feel we are in "dark times". He said that in his walk with God, he has learned something over the years. He said that he had learned that when his times seemed darkest, it is when God was preparing him for something, and it was always followed by light. Just as in Genesis 1:2-3

    The earth was without form, and void; and darkness was on the face of the deep. And the spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. Then God said "Let there be light; and there was light."

    So many times I know that I have felt as though things seemed so desperately bad, and yet I know, praise God, that He is always right there, beside me, and that He is the light at the end of my tunnel.

    You're in my prayers, as is your family...please keep us updated.

    Love,
    Sheli