Vacation without me

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Hootie1, Aug 22, 2006.

  1. Hootie1

    Hootie1 New Member

    Well, they finally did it! My husband and son went to the shore without me. It was actually a quite casual event. My husband had planned to take off this week since March and I... well... I have a hard time planning for anything! I have taken off work so much and have not been feeling well for quite some time, but have been sticking it out and doing things that need to be done.

    My husband was planning amusement park visits with my son and obviously I would not be going so without discussion it was sort of assumed that it would be a father son type vacation. Yesterday I asked him again what he had planned or if he wanted me to plan anything. He said that he wanted to take a trip to the beach and whala it was done.

    I started out feeling relieved, but tonight I am extremely depressed realizing how little enjoyment I have anymore. I float from day to day with no real joy.

    My life consists of constant research to get better; planning how to conserve my energy; and the other parts missing my life. This was a gradual decline for 10 years, but I just didn't know what the dd was?

    I don't feel sorry for myself, just unhappy as though I have lost a friend.

    Thank you for allowing me to vent.
    [This Message was Edited on 08/22/2006]
  2. gnanny

    gnanny New Member

    this DD has taught me is how to be a good cheerleader since I am not much of a participant any more.

    I know how you feel.
  3. Empower

    Empower New Member

    I hear you! Haven't been on vacation in about 6 years and this makes me really sad

    Try to pamper yourself with long baths, and good books or movies!
  4. GBHope

    GBHope New Member

    Christmas before last. I missed going too, but knew there was really no point. I just can't keep up with my husband's family down there and they are all doing and eating things I can't. It's just to much work to drag all that special food. I did that back in 2000 and I was pooped when I came home.

    Just this last weekend I went to a family gettogether and ate food I shouldn't have and was around all those people. It took me two days to recover. How exhausting! I am learning that somethings I just can't do anymore and it's just not worth it. I just hate feeling like a hermit.

    Take care and know you're not alone.

    GBHope
  5. Hootie1

    Hootie1 New Member

    Thank you all for listening. I'm kind of laughing at myself because I sounded a bit pathetic. I am, however, happy that they went and are having a great time. I feel somewhat relieved. :)

    I guess I was a little emotional when I wrote this, but thank you for sharing and listening.

    [This Message was Edited on 08/23/2006]
  6. wordbyrd

    wordbyrd New Member

    So sorry you had to stay behind. You're a good mom (and wife) to let them go, though.

    In the early days of my illness (I've had CFS for 16 years, when my kids were small, there were many times when Mom had to stay home. It was hard, but it wouldn't have been fair to them to have brought me along and risked having to turn around to come back home early because I couldn't handle the activity. And it was important for the kids to have as normal a childhood as possible. My husband did a lot of solo outings with them - what a good sport he was.

    I was also grateful to the many people who "adopted" my kids and took them along when they planned fun outings with their families, during those years too.

    --wordbyrd
  7. petsrme

    petsrme Member

    Hootie you do NOT sound pathetic. My husband wants to go every year to baseball games with his family. That is his idea of a vacation. After many years of going and suffering I am sick of it. I actually posted a pic in 2004 of me sleeping at a snack bar at one of these trips. I was so sick and in pain and they thought it was funny to snap a pic of me with my head down. I also sprained my ankle on the trip and they expected me to walk miles to the stadium. I couldn't make it back down the bleachers so I spent the rest of the game at the top of the stands.

    I was told a few weeks ago that we are going to Washington on labor day weekend to see a ball game. I said have fun! He told his brother to buy us tickets and a hotel room. I was so mad. I may end up going, but I doubt it. My husband gets so mad when I dont' want to do these things, but I am sick of pretending and doing just to please him. I think I will tell him and my daughter to just go and leave me in peace. I know where you are coming from. Don't let it bother you. They will have fun and you will get some rest.