vent. stressed about school and problems with FM/CFS.

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by dani78xo, Jan 13, 2007.

  1. dani78xo

    dani78xo New Member

    I'm so tired of feeling like this all of the time.

    One of my biggest stress factors is my memory. I'm a teenager and I can't even remember if I've taken one of my meds on any given day. I get told to do things and five minutes later I've forgotten all about them; I can study for two hours for a test, but unless its the night before, or even just an hour before the test, I won't remember any of it.

    Everyone gets mad because I forget things, and they tell me that I'm faking it and that I'm just too lazy and I can't handle feeling like this anymore! My grades are slipping and I'm so stressed because I have to get good grades now for college since I had to pretty much drop out of school last year when I got sick.

    I just feel like no one understands me--it's so vastly different for a middle aged person to get FM or CFS, but I didn't know how hard it would be. Sometimes I'm in so much pain, and I'm so self conscious all of the time because the only med that actually helped my pain made me gain 40 lbs, and sometimes I want to go back on it just to get rid of the pain. I don't even feel like me anymore.
  2. nerdieduckie

    nerdieduckie New Member

    I completely understand your problem with memory and tests! It's awful isn't it?! I was supposed to have a French test Thursday but there was no way I could take it because I was having a horrible day and couldn't remember anything anyway. I felt horrible for doing that to my French tutor since she is taking time out of her life for me but argh, what can we do?

    Since I'm not in school I don't have to worry with people accusing me of things, but I often try to convince myself I'm faking it, like maybe I am not as bad off as I think...because if I can stay up until 5 AM then I can live a normal life, right? But then i know that's not true. Did you consider anything like home classes? My school set me up with my courses online so I could do them at home, but I am still associated with the school. I am not a very social person though and maybe you are, so you may not like that.

    I think it is different for older people than us to get FM/CFS. I've read several times it's better for younger people to get it, but there is NO good time to get it, and I'm sure everyone would agree with that. Each age group has their own problems. Like for our age group it's just hard to even get the basics down, like finishing school, getting a driver's license, or getting a job. It seems impossible to me. At least older people have the basics, but then it is harder to change your life then.

    Since I've been at home I'm starting to feel a bit more like myself again, the pain isn't much of a problem for me anymore, but my sleep pattern is awful, so I'm still dealing with that. I'm starting to lose weight finally, but I understand being self-conscious about gaining weight, because 40 lbs is about how much I gained on my old medicine.

    I'm sorry you're having to go through all this, and I hope you can start to feel better soon or find something that works with you. I didn't have much advice but I hope that you at least feel someone understands :)
  3. evol_or_revert

    evol_or_revert New Member

    I'm so sorry your feeling like this, it is tough.

    My parents use to tell me to do something and I would never remember they even told me let alone do what they told me.

    Good grades are important, but the most important thing is you.

    Things I do to help me remember my class stuff.

    Flash cards - Write important words on one side and what you have to remember on the other, make them different colours for different subjects and go over them little and often.

    Dictaphone- I record lectures and play them back later when im relaxing as something in the background.

    Wall charts - Charts linking topics and information to other things.

    You may have already done all this, its just ideas.

    Look after yourself first, the less stress the more likely you are to remember even simple things.

    I hope things get better for you

  4. dani78xo

    dani78xo New Member

    I haven't been able to hold a job since I was fourteen, and the awful thing is that I WANT one so much, but I can't handle it right now.

    I've been trying to set time aside to study for the test to get a driver's permit, but I can't study for four hours straight--I make myself sick and exhausted wayyy before the two hour mark--and if I don't study it within a few days, I won't remember. That's a lot of stuff to sift through in the driver's handbook, and I don't want to fail a test and have to pay for another one just because I couldn't remember any of the answers.

    The gaining weight part is horrible. Even worse that I can't get it off--no matter how hard I try.

    I'm also trying to improve my sleep, but it's awfully hard because sometimes, if I take my sleeping pill, I'm out in an hour and a half, but other times, it takes up to three hours for me to get to sleep. And if I don't take any sleep meds at all I'm up till at least four in the morning, sometimes as late as seven int he morning.

    And even though I try to not let myself get more than eight and a half hours of sleep a night (more than nine hours makes me horribly sick) I somehow turn off my alarm without ever waking up, so by the time I've woken up, I've slept at least 12 hours--and feel horrible.

    I am not a very social person at all. Since I got sick last year, I lost most of my friends who didn't care to keep in touch, so I only have two close ones right now.

    I tried a tutor last year, but the school couldn't find one that covered classes that I needed, so I failed out of everything.

    And it's probably SINCE I was in the house nonstop for at least a six month period last year when I first got sick, I can't stand to be stuck here for an extended amount of time. I start regressing during the weekends because I'm too tired to get out--and get even more tired by monday.

    I don't think I could deal with online courses, or at home ones. I'm not social, and most of the time I feel like I'd do better if I didn't have to sit through the classes, but I feel like if I don't get that little social activity I'll get even more depressed.

    My schools even worse, though, because they ALWAYS give me hard times about things. My teachers get annoyed when I ask for extensions, which gets old real quick.

    My doctor and my mom and therapist all recommended that I only do half days this year--we still weren't sure how much progress I'd made--but I refused to, because if I fail a single course from now on, I'll be held back, and have to be at the high school for another year. I'm determined not to let it come to that.

    It's just so hard sometmies, seeing everyone having fun and choosing colleges so easily, but I either don' thave time or feel too sick for fun, and am constantly STRESSING about college and wondering if I'll get in sicne I'm missing an entire year, or even if I'll be WELL enough to go to college.

    I never knew it would be this hard. I really didn't.
  5. connieaag

    connieaag New Member

    I really feel for all of you as I see my daughter go through this as well. I have posted before that we are doing homebound through the school as our corporation has a Special Services Dept. that is wonderful. The homebound program is just great. Our challenge is deciding what to do for HS next year, as Kathryn IS very social, and misses her friends. She does see them on the weekends some and is on AIM with them alot. Keeping the stress down through a Homebound program CAN BE great as nerdie duckie mentioned on-line, etc. That way, you know what the plan is. You don't have to stress about waking up each morning and starting off with "How can I get to school today?" Being able to work at your own pace, and taking breaks when you need them really removes a lot of stress. We are learning how stress is what really triggers Kat's flare-ups.

    Dani, have you seen a psychologist who deals with chronic illensses? It has helped Kathryn (and me) SO MUCH. Her medical doctor told us, that no physical healing can take place if the depression isn't under control. Consider seeing a good psychiatrist as well if you haven't already to regulate AD's. They have been a Godsend to us instead of having her medical doctor regulate them.

    The best things for Kathryn is having someone other than her family to talk to, and to give her ideas for managing life. Hope this helps! What about a local GED program to get your diploma?

    [This Message was Edited on 01/15/2007]

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