VENTING IT ALL...I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO....

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by froggyfog, Feb 6, 2007.

  1. froggyfog

    froggyfog New Member

    I need help. My life feels like it is falling apart. I am fatigued and hurting all the time. I recently went to part-time at work and gave up over $1,200 a month. We have a lot of bills that will take us years to pay off. We can hardley afford to pay the minimum. My husband is starting a new business so bankrucpt is not an option. I have almost used up all my FMLA because of feeling like crap. On top of money woes, my husband had a nerve conduction test and it showed some decrease sensory input to his arms and hands and left leg....we think its bulging disk but we are not sure yet. Two weeks ago we were planning on a divorce...so our marriage is on the rocks. And what bothers me most about my marriage ending is I'll have to move again(sad huh)....we just moved into this house...our third move in a year 1/2. We have been married over 20 years but I'm just so tired and I don't think I even care to work on it anymore...he is not the sensitive or affectionate type at all and I'm tired of feeling like he doesn't care...by the way we have been to a marriage counsoler(sp) but he wants to try it on our own now due to money issues. I thought about filing for disability but I don't know....I may need to try and go back to work full-time if we split.....I have also weigh more than I ever had in my whole life. Any suggestions would be appreciated. You guys are the only ones that know all my many woes.
    [This Message was Edited on 02/06/2007]
  2. Kryssie

    Kryssie New Member

    Ah honey.. trust me I feel your pain. I was diagnosed 1 yr after my husband and I split. I wasnt working at all, went back to work, got a 2nd job, got house, kids, pool, all yard work and whole nine yards-then this.
    He moved in with his MAMA!
    I should have his life and he should have mine.. god I just feel like I am going to drop dead at any given moment!!
    *HUGS*
  3. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    froggyfog:

    Relax. If I were you I would apply for disability if diagnosed that you could not work.

    It is funny how things just work out for the best. Take care of yourself and what is in your best interest.

    If hubby does not help, well just take care of business for what is good for you.

    Again, relax. Things do usually work out.

    nyrofan
  4. happycanuk

    happycanuk New Member

    If your marriage isn't happy, you will be better off out of it. Stress plays such a big roll in FM and probably CFS as well. Moving into a place that is just yours will be so much easier for you, no cooking for others etc. As a divorce gift to your hubby,leave him all the bills lol Then apply for disability and try to get on with your life. Without all the stress, you might be surprised.
  5. froggyfog

    froggyfog New Member

    The thing is my husband helps out around the house...cooking, cleaning and with the kids...It's just there is coldness & lack of comfort/love between us. I would probably have it worse if I leave(as far as the work goes). I want to apply for disability but not sure if I would get it plus my husband doesn't want me too. I had slept on the couch last night because he upset me....or should I say tried to sleep anyway couldn't go to work today because I hurt and am fatigued. Anyway today he came home from work at lunch time to bring me lunch and said he was sorry for making me mad (I wasn't mad but disapointed and sad). Looks like he is trying..
  6. ayhatch

    ayhatch New Member

    Thanks for responding to my post, Froggy. You are certainly in a tough spot like me. I have no income and am awaiting disability (don't know if I'm approved yet.) I need a new car...mine is really falling apart and no longer safe. I desperately need my husband's income...though it is stretched. I know that seperation or divorce will be costly and cost more to live apart.
    BUT, I have to ask myself whether or not my health, my life can handle the stress of my marraige anymore. Somedays I can weather it, some days I feel good enough about myself, the kids or other things that I don't think about him and I'm fine. BUT, when he's in my face with demands that I can't meet or parading his own issues in front of me (alcohol)...that's when I fall apart and I feel that whatever progress I made or support I have elsewhere just doesn't count anymore.
    Why, with all the wonderful support I get alsewhere do I cling to this one emotionally disabled man? I'm not in love! I do love hime for our history and the kids we have together, but really I feel that my main reasons for staying are the kids and the finances. Not good enough.

    Keep in touch.