very depressed newbie

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by 1by1, Jul 14, 2003.

  1. 1by1

    1by1 New Member

    i have been lurking here for weeks now and finally got the courage to post. i have so many questions but thought i needed to start somewhere. right now i am more depressed that ever before. i can't take antidepressants because they make me feel terribly drugged and i can't function. in fact, my choles. meds even make me feel drugged and out of it, too. i think my doc is becoming frustrated with me and is ready to send me to the luney bin. between the chronic pain, the fatigue and the loss of friends, i don't know what else to do. i need some hope and encouragement from someone and my old friends just don't understand the word "fibro" i have read many posts and it makes me feel good to know that you all understand what it's like, but i can't shake the depression. it seems like we all just keep getting worse. is there any hope out there for us? i don't know what i would of done if i hadn't found this board. i hope to make many friends here, because i really need to know someone really cares.
  2. JP

    JP New Member

    I am so sorry you are having so much pain and loss. This is a difficult condition. I had a similar experience with antidepressants. Thank God I found one that worked!! I was really at a loss. I use Effexor XR. It has changed my life. This is a difficult condition to face, especially med free. I know there are many in this community that use alternatives and have found some peace and improved well being from their efforts. Keep posting...I know that you will find some help here.

    As for my friends and family...well, I decided that they can't ask me how I am feeling or doing. I told them that I will take care of myself and I will let them know if I am in trouble. I can't tell you how much this has helped me. I don't talk about my illness...only with my doctor and my psychotherapist. This works for me. It may not help anyone else and it has shifted my life toward learning to live well with illness.

    Hang in there...hugs your way, Jan
  3. kmelodyg

    kmelodyg New Member

    Hi there! Welcome to the board. I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a tough time. How long have you had FMS? What meds have you taken? Do you work still? Are you functional at all? Has anything helped at all? There are many supplements that also help alot of people instead of taking meds. Many of us are overly sensitive to medications, and it is hard to find ones that work for you. I was very sensitive to antidepressants. Zoloft and Wellbutrin made me go through the roof!! I took Amitriptaline (which is a very very mild antidepressant and it helps with sleep) and then I moved onto Paxil. It has made a HUGE difference for me. It is just a matter of ruling out what works and what dosen't i guess. Write back and give us some more detailed info. I'm sure that someone will be able to help on some advice for you. Hang in there!!

    Lots of Love,
    Kathryn
  4. atrinigyal29

    atrinigyal29 New Member

    I'm sorry that you are having such a rough time. It is really hard for healthy people to understand what we go through, and that's not just including friends and family, but your doctor as well. Does your doctor specialize in treating FM patients? If not, find a doctor, who is and who is in your area by doing an online search. Also, have you tried natural herbs/medicine for your depression? St. John's Wort is supposed to help. Whenever I get depressed or frustrated, I write in my journal and get my feelings out. I usually feel much better once I've written in my journal. Just know that you are welcome here and that we are here for you. Take care.
    Alicia
  5. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    It is very difficult at the stage you are in right now. I believe it is the pain and fatigue which causes the depression and it helps most to address those problems. If your pain is the worst symptom, see a pain specialist to get some help. He or she may also be able to help you find something for sleep. Unless a person has clinical depression, I don't think treating the depression directly is the most efficient way to go. It is much better to treat the problems which cause the depression.

    Learning to live without stress, eating right and getting rid of carbs and processed foods, and getting plenty of rest will help more than all the antidepressants in the world. Some therapy is also a great help in coping with our illnesses.

    I'm glad you found us and want to welcome you to our board. This is a time for learning everything you can about our illnesses. You will find things which have helped others and want to give them a try. Not everything will work for you as we are all different, but you will, though trial and error, find some things which help.

    Everyone who finds herself or himself sick with a chronic illness suffers from a degree of isolation as our friends and family cannot possibly understand what we are going though. Just know that this is a place where people do understand and care.

    Love, Mikie
  6. pam_d

    pam_d New Member

    I'm really glad you decided to post! I remember how lonely it felt before I found this board, and a local support group; even if you have understanding and caring friends and family, nobody but others with this illness can truly appreciate the way this illness makes you feel inside.

    When I first struggled with fibro, I did decide to go to a therapist who specialized in helping people with chronic illness cope better. I saw her for about a year, weekly at first, then more like monthly, and she became a real advocate for me, helped me a lot! I guess I finally began to accept fibro, rather than fight against it. And as I began to see patterns in it & have a longer "history" with it, it became easier for me to cope with it. Accepting it didn't mean I resigned myself to a life of pain & suffering----I just mean I stopped being angry & started trying to find useful ideas instead of defeating myself----my biggest "foe" in the fibro battle is anxiety. I'd get extremely anxious over every new symptom, which would get me so stressed out & depressed, it was hard to pull out of flares. Now that I've had a longer "history" with fibro, I see patterens in it; I know I have flares, I know I have annoying new symptoms, but I also know I pull out of flares, that I DO have good days sometimes, too.....

    My therapy initially helped save me from sliding further into depression, and resources like good books on fibro (My favorite is the Fibromyalgia Advocate" by Dr. Devin Starlanyl) are great, but this board has been a great help, too----a lot of what I've learned that has helped has come from right here. You will find that there are folks here (I'm one) who are starting to feel better; it has often involved a lot of painstakingly tedious digging, & trial and error, but some of us have found some underlying factors (like food allergies, in my case) that have led to strategies to feeling better fibro-wise. So read all you can here & ask questions!!

    I'm like you---it's frustrating how meds affect me, I seem super-sensitive to them all! But there are supplements to try that lots of folks here use that seem to help. Every one of us is different in how things affect us, we all have a slightly different of manifestation of our fibro or CFS---but we have a lot in common, too, & people here are generally great about sharing what's helping them.

    Glad you are here & hope you feel better,
    Pam
  7. Smokeymar

    Smokeymar New Member

    Hi,
    Sure glad you found this place. It is like no other one. The people are truly caring and sympathtic. I was dx'd about 8 years ago and you do get kind of used to it and learn what to expect your body is going to do to you. LOL
    Each of us is different. I was lucky I started on Prozac and it worked so well that I've never had to change. It's funny but sometimes we don't realize just how bad we feel till we start to feel better. One thing about fibro is that it makes you a stronger person. If someone isn't your friend anymore because you don't always feel like doing something with or for them, then they weren't really your friend anyway. Please keep posting, there is always someone who will answer and try to help. It's really up to you to find what works best for you and makes you happy. Welcome, and I hope you stay. Ask anything you want and try to read everything you can find. The internet is the #1 place to research this "dread disease".
    I care about you, and I'm sure a lot more people here do too.
    Hang in there, OK?
    Smokeymar
  8. TinysMom

    TinysMom New Member

    I TOO AM FAIRLY NEW TO THIS DX, AS OF DEC. 02. I RESEARCHED FOR OVER A YEAR BEFORE DECIDING TO SEE A RHEUMY IN MY AREA THAT CAME HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. I WAS LUCKY, SHE DOES KNOW HER STUFF. LIKE YOU, I WENT INTO A DEEP DEPRESSION. IN FACT, I HADN'T REALIZED HOW LONG I HAD BEEN DEPRESSED UNTIL SHE GAVE ME EFFEXOR XR, AND I STARTED TO COME OUT OF IT. SHE LETS ME DECIDE WHAT I MIGHT WANT TO TRY, AND THEN WE DISCUSS IT, SHE DOESN'T JUST PRESCRIBE 'THE USUSAL', LIKE VICODIN. I TAKE VICODIN FOR MY RUPTURED DISC, AND IT DOES HELP, BUT IT IS USELESS FOR THE FIBRO PAIN. I AM NOT ONE TO USE ANTIDEPRESSANTS EITHER, (OR MUCH ELSE. I DON'T LIKE TAKING MEDS.) BUT MY PCP SUGGESTED IT (HE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND FIBRO AT ALL) SO I TOLD HIM I WOULD TALK TO MY RHUEMY ABOUT IT. SHE SAID MANY OF HER FIBRO PATIENTS TAKE IT WITH GOOD RESULTS. SORRY I SEEM TO BE RATTLING ON--ITS THAT FOG THING!! LOL
    ANYWAY, I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW, THERE IS A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL. THE EFFEXOR DOES NOT HELP WITH THE PAIN (AS MY PCP SUGGESTED), BUT IT SURE HELPS ME DEAL WITH IT AND THAT IS WORTH ALOT WITH THIS DD.
    I WISH YOU MUCH LUCK IN YOUR QUEST FOR RELIEF, AND REMEMBER THERE ARE LOTS OF US HERE IN THE SAME BOAT, WHO CARE AND ARE WILLING TO LISTEN, EVEN IF YOU JUST NEED TO VENT! HUGS AND PRAYERS TO YOU---TINYSMOM
  9. 1by1

    1by1 New Member

    dear all my new friends,
    thank you all so very much for responding to my post. i have written down all your names, so that i can remember who you are. JP, kemlodyg,atrinigyal29,mikie,pam d,smokeymar,tinysmom,skeesix and bek. it made me feel so good to see that somebody really cares. it made me feel validated. and you gave me some hope, too. i am going to try with this board's help to beat this depression thing. i know that my symptoms and the death of the old me(the healthy one) are the cause of my depression. and it makes it worse when it is so hard for loved ones and old friends? to understand. i will keep reading as much as i can and try to have some hope here. it is just so good to know that there is a place where we can all understand each other and not feel like we are crazy. again, thank you all for responding to my cry for help.
  10. bitter-sweet

    bitter-sweet New Member

    Hi, I just wanted to welcome you here. Sorry you're having such a tough time. I agree with atrinigyal29. Keep a journal and start with herbal remedies first. There are many people who don't tolerate medication...sometimes something and benign as Tylenol. Have you considered seeing a counselor? If you can find the right one, it could be helpful. You're not ready for the luney bin. It's just that illness can be so consuming. Hang in there. God Bless.
  11. suz41

    suz41 New Member

    Hi 1by1 catchy name: Sorry to hear you feeling so badly right now, I think your board name might be just right for you . take each day one by one. There are many of us here who undersatand your pain, I just came off a terrible flare a few days ago, feel pain daily but know I will get through. You mentioned being depressed and it sounded like it might be due to both pain and isolation. Are there any support groups near you. Tou can check this site to see if there are any inor near where you live. However, I think most of the people here are pretty supportive and responsive. If we can't take away your pain at least know you are not alone. Hope you are feeling better soon. Keep us posted.

    Suz41
  12. 1by1

    1by1 New Member

    need to add thanks to bitter-sweet and Suz41 in addition to all the others that have replied to me. it is such a struggle to get thru each day, but i now have friends out there whom i can trust to understand. i hope that i can help you all out in the future, too. without hope, i couldn't go on.