Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by lin-z, Jan 9, 2006.

  1. lin-z

    lin-z New Member

    A longtime friend (basically the only one who still reaches out) calls every month or so and always invites my husband and me over for dinner . I never want to go but this last time I said ok.

    We went to dinner at her house last night and there were 6 other people there whom I havent seen in 2-3 years(before dd). They were very nice but I could tell they were shocked by how I looked (weight gain) and maybe how feeble I seemed. They looked fabulous..perky..tons of evergy and talking about work and travel..

    One girl said oh how can you not work??? I would be soooo bored..blah blah blah...They dont really know whats going on with me..My friend who invited us said she knew I wouldnt come if I knew the other guests would be there...duh...correcto!!! She didnt mean any harm I know that but...

    We got home and I just cried for my old self and my old life like they have. I usually can deal with it but I dont like being confronted with how "the others can live" and how I used to live especially when I wasnt prepared.

    I know I still have alot...great kids great husband..I think I am just grieving for the old me..really missing her. Thanks for letting me vent and cry with you..anyone ever feel like this???(def pity party)
  2. whoachief

    whoachief New Member

    I'm so sorry you had such a difficult time & YES I feel like that at times too - I bet most of us do. The ones that say they don't are fooling themselves. We all grieve for the person we used to be at times, the things we used to be able to do but cannot anymore. I think that is only human! Hoping that you have better days ahead & hang in there - you still are the same good person inside you always were, just the outside has changed. Always remember that!
  3. millennia

    millennia New Member

    I grieve not only for the person I used to be, but also for the one I could have become. Being young and having this illness, I feel like I never even got to start my life. I wonder how many of my plans and dreams I will have to sacrifice to this. It isn't fair that we have to go through this and isn't fair that people don't understand or take our sickness seriously. If you had cancer, people would ask you how you were doing, tell you it was great that you were up and about. They wouldn't put you down for what you can't do. It is really infuriating sometimes. I'm sick, I'm in A LOT of pain! And everyone keeps getting on me for not doing enough. I try so hard! Ahhhhh. Sorry, just needed to vent.
  4. caroleye

    caroleye New Member

    It's like we've become "someone else"!! My lesson around this is to ask to be shown what I'm to do with my life now.

    I'm grateful that I'm in my 60's, and had created a great life for myself prior to being hit with this 20+ years ago. So I really don't feel I've missed doing anything.

    Problem is I still would like to do "something". Can't do people anymore, so that's out. I struggled for years to continue to be somewhat social, but finally gave it up. Not even my family has acknowledged my illness (except my husband).

    My only passion left is to be around horses. Since having to sell our ranch 5 years ago, it's been a real struggle to fill that magical time.

    But I've decided to find someone else's horse that I can go & feed carrotts & take a slow ride when I'm able. That is my goal.

    Releasing our "old" self is like climbing a huge mountain, and we need to allow that grieving & acknowledge that we're doing the best we can with what we have. Aint easy!!

  5. lin-z

    lin-z New Member

    After a cleansing cry and a walk with my dtr and dog, I feel a bit better. The weather was so nice today(60's n central jersey) and I think that helped. I'm still new enough to think I will wake up healed and get so disappointed when its not to be but.....thanks again

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