I have been feeling horrible this week. Went to the doc last week and he said I had bronchitis. No big surprise, I have this a few times a year and can generally silf-diagnoise myself. Within a couple of days of starting the antibiotic, I went into thrush mouth. OH MY GOD, thrush mouth is absolutely horrid. Stopped the antibiotics, went back to doctor and nurse practioner put me on Diflucan and a swish and swallow stuff, had to swallow the stuff because I had it going down my throat. Horrible tasting stuff. I felt really bad all day yesterday, did not work, overslept and John was late for work. I told him I am sick, you are gonna have to get your own self off to work; I didn't get up with him as I normally do. Slept most of the day yesterday, yesterday evening, and all night until about 8 this morning. I knew when I got up this morning I was really sick. John is down on hours and has not been working the past several Fridays. I let him sleep until about 10 AM, actually that is when I let the ferrets out and they got in bed with him and began wrestling and that is what woke him up. I had uncovered my birds in my office and they were screaming like mad this morning. I asked him to recover them, maybe that would shut them up. He goes off on me. Whatever it was at the time he was holding, he threw it, and informed me why didn't I get off my LAZY A$$ and do it myself. He then goes on to tell me, there is nothing wrong with me, and being in the medical field, doing transcription, I get whatever the person has that I am transcribing which is totally off the wall, I do all operative reports. He said I read up on all this stuff and then get whatever I am researching. Anywho, he had to go to the landfill this morning to do a garbage run, get rid of a months' worth of our garbage. He then tells me he might be back after he goes there, he might be back tomorrow, he might never come back. And then he used one of quotes on me. I had apologized a number of times to him for me being sick which I guess when you stop to think of it is pretty stupid, it is not like I asked for this. And his parting shot to me when he left was "you are right, I didn't sign on for this" and he left. I had already called my family doc to see if I could get in to see him and I had an appointment for 2 PM. I hadn't even had a chance to tell John, he was too busy yelling at me. I saw my doc this afternoon, which John insisted on taking me which is a pretty good thing I guess, my driving is getting very bad. They weighed me as usual before seeing the doc and apparently I had dropped several pounds since I was there 3 days ago. Doc tells me he thinks I have pneumonia; not viral but bacterial pneumonia and sends me up to hospital for chest x-ray and depending on how bad the x-ray is, whether he would admit me to hospital. (I saw the diagnosis on my charge sheet, DIAGNOIS: PNEUMONIA) This evening we were forcasted for some really bad thunder storms, possible tornados, heard civil defense go off in town which it doesn't go off unless one has actually been sighted. I noticed one of the younger cats was not inside. I asked John if he had seen Normy and he said no. He asked me if I had let him out and I said yes earlier in the afternoon. He gets the light and goes outside looking for Normy. He looks for a good while and then comes back in and informs me I am not responsible enough to have pets, we should get rid of every one so they would have a better home because I am too irresponsible to have a pet. I am sorry I forgot to get Normy back in but I have been too dam busy trying to breath all day. I am really upset with John about all this. Until recently he has been very supportive. I don't know where this behavior is coming from. My sister and my mom have pretty much disowned me; according to them I am strung out on prescription pain pills and they want nothing further to do with me until I "clean up my act" as my big sister put it. I am feeling extremely hurt and alone right now in all this. My work is suffering big time but I am afraid to let them know I have this dam disease. Supervisor chewed me out the other day about my work. She said I will be going along just fine, reports look beautiful, and then boom she said it is like I go to sleep in the middle of the report. I know what this is, the dam fog that takes over. Money is extremely tight, I need my job, I need every line I can come up with; I get paid production, no hourly rate. It hurts so much for the people you love most to say they don't believe you. I am so upset with John righ now. It is going on 2:30 in the AM and here I am on the computer. When he went to bed earlier, he informed me he was going to bed, did not even go near me or kiss me good night, nothing. Is that what happens to us?? The people we count on the most for love, understanding, and support, is that what happens, they pull the rug right out from under you?? What happened, where did the love and support go to?? Anyone else experiencing this?? I can tell you, it hurts to the bone. Not only am I sick with the Fibro, but also sick with pneumonia, and now John is acting like a jerk about it all. I will once more appologize to him, to my family, and to the rest of the dam world, I did not ask for this, would give anything to get rid of it. Except for you guys, I feel like I don't have a friend in the world. Only those of us actually going through this hell understands what it is like. Sorry for being so long and rambling. Feeling extremly hurt right now. I had 2 abusive marriages, but I won't have another one. Emotional abuse is just as painful as physical abuse.