Very Upset with Husband! Need some smiles

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by jane32, Jan 15, 2006.

  1. jane32

    jane32 New Member

    My husband just told me that he doesn't want to ever have children. We have only been married two years and although I am sick I hope to eventually have my own children or adopt. I am crushed. We have been in counseling dealing with the illness for a couple of months now so I guess we will bring this up to. I just can't imagine my life without him nor without children. I don't even know where to start. I mean I can't work I don't act like a normal 27 year old. Who would want to be with me and take care of me? Sorry to sound to sad. Just need some help I guess.
  2. Countrymom

    Countrymom New Member



    Don't dwell on this right now. It causes stress and that causes you to be sicker. Just focus on getting yourself well and in the future...you can think about kids.

    I had my girls when I was 34 &35. I have friends who waited until 40. You have plenty of time for babies. You want to get yourself better first.

    Your husband may change his mind. My brother in law did. You guys are young and you never know what the future may bring.

    Smile, we love you here.
    Dani
  3. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    believe it or not...you are both a beautiful couple...

    i would bring up the children thing...did you both discuss this topic before you got married? and you know times change people...no rush trust me...

    just talk it out at therapy...

    jodie
  4. JLH

    JLH New Member

    Did your husband tell you why he does not ever want to have children?

    Does it have to do with your fibro, or does he have some insecurities? Does his family have any health problems
    that he may secretly be worried about passing on?

    I am nearly 55 and have 3 grown children and 2 grandsons. To look at my life now, I can not possibly imagine it WITHOUT my children or crandchildren. It would be such a lonely world.

    I am glad that you are seeing a counselor.

    Hugs,
    Janet
  5. jane32

    jane32 New Member

    His parents divorced when he was five and honestly I think that is what it all comes down to. When we first dating he wasn't keen on the idea but by the time we got engaged he was okay with. He only wanteddd two and I could deal with that. Then last year right when I first got sick although he says he was thinking it before then he started crying (which He never does) and told me that he doesn't want children and knows that I woudl leave him which is why he didn't tell me before. Pretty selfish! I was so mad for days and weeks I would cry. He started seeign a counselor and learned a little about himself and why he may not want kids. He just saw his mon struggle and never smile raising the family and he doesn't want that. He says he has too many hobbies(He plays the guitar in two bands on the weekends) and kids would get in the way. I try to tell him that everyone has hobbies. He is also very neat and does not really like choas. He has three brothers older then him and all of the feel the same way about children. He is actually four years older then me and now all of his friends are getting married and starting families. CHildren just don't interest them. ANyways, our counselor at the time told us to forget about it for now since I was sick. She told us to wait a few years well. It is ten months later and he has been so mean lately and just out of character for him. We had a talk last night and he said it is the kids thing. He still doesn't want them. We were both up all night crying. I am just so scare. I mean I know I can't leave hum right now I would probably stay sick forever. I just don't even want a family life if it isn't with him. We have our meeting tonight and we are going to tell the counselor we need to talk about it again.
  6. reiki

    reiki New Member

    Hiya Sweetie, as everyone else has said you are young so there is plenty of time for children. But I can't point out enough you really should not dwell in this at this moment in time, because the more you worry, the more stressed you become, and the more your illness will cause you problems. I know this is easier said than done, I know.
    There are plenty of people on here to help and give you support so if you need us just shout xxx