Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by KateMac329, Mar 11, 2006.

  1. KateMac329

    KateMac329 New Member

    Hello Sharon!

    How are you feeling? How has your weekend been so far?

    I have been a complete mad woman towards my husband today and I feel so bad for taking all my anger, frustration and depression out on him. But tomorrow we are going to get out and go to a park or something so maybe getting out of the house and NOT shopping will help us feel better.

    I wanted to tell you that my appointment with my therapist went pretty well! She must be a magician! LOL She read between the lines on a lot of stuff I thought I was hiding well.

    We did touch base on PPD but only briefly. BUT...I REALLY think it needs to be addressed!

    I completely went bazerk (sp) on my husband this evening about a stupid living room chair. I am NOT that kind of person and it scares me.

    ALSO the other day I went and picked the dogs up from the vet and as I was driving home (without Landon in the car) a man in an SUV cut me off and I chased him down and cussed him out. OMG!

    I have never done ANYTHING like that in my life!!!!

    Within a few minutes of the incident I realized what the heck I did and it scared me! It scared me that I had that kind of rage in me and I don't know what is going on. I am not that kind of person!!!

    I see my counselor again on Tuesday and will be talking to her about this. Also I see my OB/GYN on Monday and will also be talking to him about what is going on.

    Thank you for writing all that you did on the bio-identicals and progesterone creams. I really appreciate the information!!!! I know it probably took a lot to write all that so thank you!

    I will be looking into that shortly!!!

    Thank you for being such a great support system and thanks for helping me through this.

    This is extremely hard to admit but I have been dealing with my stress the WRONG way lately. When I was fifteen I developed a very negative relationship with food and it has all come back. I need to start learning to like and love myself like those around me do. It is just easier to remember and believe the bad stuff.

    With all the craziness going on around me I am trying to keep it together!


    [This Message was Edited on 03/11/2006]
  2. KateMac329

    KateMac329 New Member


    Just trying to keep this at the top for you!

  3. ilovecats94

    ilovecats94 New Member

  4. KateMac329

    KateMac329 New Member

    Oh Sharon I am a complete mess this morning! I am calling my doctor here in just a minute.

    I completely lost it this morning and am at my wits end.

    My husband got up for the five o'clock feeding for me this morning but didn't keep Landon upright for thirty minutes afterward (like he knows he is supposed to) and so Landon has been really fussy since.

    I went into his room after he started screaming to comfort him and couldn't find his pacifier.

    I started looking everywhere it might be but couldn't find it anywhere.

    By this time my husband was in the shower and I went in there screaming at him to tell me where it was. Of course he had no idea.

    Our routine is to put the pacifier above (and out of reach) Landon's head so we know where it is and can give it to him immediately when needed. It wasn't there!

    I kept searching and searching and couldn't find it and just stood at the kitchen counter thinking and out of nowhere I picked up a glass and hurled it across the room.

    Landon was in his crib and it is not his safety that I nor anyone else needs to worry about. It is my husbands! I mean not really, I seriously could never hurt him and do NOT even think about hurting him but I couldn't have thrown the glass AT him had he been there.

    Anyway the glass shattered and now there is a huge hole in the wall where it hit.

    Of course when my husband saw that he about lost it.

    What makes me so angry is I clearly need help and I am trying my best to get it. Although my husband is very good to me he is not helping me get the help I need and that makes me angry and I feel hurt.

    Okay sorry I am venting! I just feel so whacked out and I know it is my hormones.

    I have read your posts about hormones and new Mom groups. I did join this online group called clubmom and I have`been reading stuff on PPD.

    I really appreciate`all your help, thanks for letting me`cry and vent!


  5. ilovecats94

    ilovecats94 New Member

    Sweety, can you all have more than just one pacifier? I used to have about 3 or ore of them, but then I had two kids in diapers at the same time. John was 18 months old when Matt was born and trust me, it was a nightmare.

    I suffered from PPD in the hospital, so was treated immediately but a shot or something that just worked right away. Prior to that had afterbirth pains and had to have morphine shot. I had a C section that was scheduled for Matt.

    Good for you, sweety, going into a mom's group is what you need to do.

    I have to get a bath and will write more to you tonight.

    Try to see a doc as soon as you can as you need to get your hormones straight.

    Much love to you,

    [This Message was Edited on 03/13/2006]
  6. KateMac329

    KateMac329 New Member

    LOL You actually made me laugh!!!! We have SEVERAL pacifiers but he only likes the one that they gave him at the hospital and as our luck would have it we can't find them in any store! LOL

    But we ran into one of his NICU nurses that took care of him last week and she said that she would give me a few to have on hand. I think I am meeting up with her this week to give her some stuff we are donating to the NICU so that will be good to get the extra passies!

    I don't know why but just reading your question about getting more then one pacifier just made me LAUGH! LOL

    Okay well I gotta get ready to go to the doctor! Have a great day and thank you for your sweet words!


  7. ilovecats94

    ilovecats94 New Member

    Hey, Kate,
    Lol I'm glad you got a laugh out of that. At the time, both of my kids had colic and cried a lot. Wasn't really funny back then, because I didn't know what to do. I wish I had put them on soy milk to just try it back then. lol Thankfully colic only lasted about 5 months or so.

    John hates milk to this day. Matt likes milk.

    I should know more to help you from my past. Hard to remember a lot of it. I had two kids in diapers at the same time and we were really going through diapers back then. Then two on bottles and apple juice gave them both diarrhea, but they loved it. We watered it down so much it was mostly just water. lol Two with diarrhea at the same time, can you imagine that? lol

    They were both 3 when I finally tried to potty train them. John was first, of course. This took a long time. I think we bought about 25 or 30 pairs of training pants. lol

    For Matt, we had to have the potty chair in the living room in front of the TV. lol I have a photo somewhere of him sitting on the potty on Christmas morning. lol

    Now, John is 27 and Matt 25, and they are very close and get along great. Matt used to be in apartments, but moved back here when he developed diabetic neuropathy of his feet. Then he found out he has advanced retinopathy due to not seeing an eye doc for 6 years. :( He is still able to drive and carry on a full time job. He gets laser surgery on his eyes. His diabetes is better too. We both see the same endocrinologist in Richmond.

    You should have seen how many bottles I had back then. Thankfully because we were in Chesterfield county, we could put them in the dishwasher.

    Kate, they grow up so fast, you won't believe it.

    Good luck at the doc and I hope you get the meds you need to help you feel better. You shouldn't be feeling as badly as you have.

  8. ilovecats94

    ilovecats94 New Member

    Let me know what happened at the doctor's office when you get a chance.

  9. windblade

    windblade Active Member

    Hi hon,

    Just replying to the post you left on the worship board.

    NOTHING in your life is insignificant! Everything you are living through now is important - you really are going through a lot of turmoil, and you've done a great thing by searching for help!

    When I first started therapy, I went twice a week - to speed things up, and get some healing established.

    Does your therapist have any medications in mind short-term for PPD, to relieve you of your symptoms?

    That's what I would think of first, and then all the support and understanding will be great.

    Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you!

    Lots of love, Judy
  10. windblade

    windblade Active Member

    Bumping for Kate

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