Visited a pain clinic county hospital, I feel so LOST

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by fibrohugslife, May 23, 2006.

  1. fibrohugslife

    fibrohugslife New Member

    Wow it has truly been a rough day today. I spent five hours in the county hospital today and my body is surely paying for it.

    The county remembered me, and so I had an appointment with the pain specialist. So it was a student physician that examined me and she did all of the pressure points thing, and she had to do it twice, the second time hurt so bad that I thought I was going to pass out.

    Talked the main doctor there that is training her. A majority of the people in the hospital are trainees. I don't mind that, they seem to pay attention more than the doctors anyway.

    So the doctor listened to my heart and said I had a split and I have no idea what that is and I didn't ask. I should have though but was sooo out of it, hurting, and brain fog.

    It took an hour and a half to get my medications, the wait was sooo long, and people there were getting upset that they were taking so long. If you go to a private pharmacist, your meds are ready in like 30 minutes even with a big line of people.

    Then I had to do blood work, the doctor said that I may have developed Reumatoid Arthritis and that just broke my heart. Here I am trying my best to get better and I am just getting worse.

    Got home, and was just already frustrated and in a bad mood and snapped at my parents, and that hurt them, and I felt really bad. I didn't mean to snap but it is just so hard with the pain, and my health declining.

    I got a letter from Blue Cross denying me of health insurance coverage, my dad was going to pay for the fees. The denying of coverage just really broke my heart even more.

    I tried to apologize to my dad but he is still very mad at me and I don't like when others are mad at me but there is nothing I can do about it.

    I just felt today, that gosh I try so hard and it feels like there is nothing that is helping. I try to stay positive and have a good attitude but I hate when I snap and all.

    The doctor prescribed Neurontin, Elavil (I had that before, but I am willing to try it again, and Ultram.

    So will see them again in about 2 months before I go on vacation (much needed). So hopefully the meds will work. I realized that I probably will be on medication for the rest of my life and I was hoping to do everything naturally with supplements, etc. The doctor said take more magnesium which I have already been taking. I guess I will just increase my dosage.

    I have just been crying so much today as I am just sooo frustrated with my life. I know God is there for me and all, and I know he will not give me more that I can bear but I feel like I am at my breaking point, just so much on my plate.
    [This Message was Edited on 05/24/2006]
  2. dleaning

    dleaning New Member

    Hang in there will have days like that and yes, you are entitled to snap every once in a while. I wish some people could experience our pain for just one day and I am sure they would SNAP!!!

  3. fibrohugslife

    fibrohugslife New Member

    Thank you all for kinds words and encouragement.

    My dad is not speaking to me, but my mom is. So it puts a bit of friction when that happens. When my dad is not speaking to me it will last a couple of days, for my mom a whole day before we talk again.

    I don't like it when I am in a bad mood but the pain is so intense that it is hard to have a good attitude.

    Sheesh I am still sooo sleepy from the Elavil. As for preferences for medication. I am not able to do that. I have to take whatever they give me, which is all generic meds. It is the county hospital and I can't be too resistant with them, or they will cut me off of the hospital care plan. It says so in their application that I filled out.

    I guess a lot of people fight with them about this and that. So they will cut you off if you are resistant about their treatments and care.

    The good thing is that I am in not so much pain right now, my legs and arms feel so limp LOL.

    Again thank you for your kind words.

    Much love!

  4. kaiasmom

    kaiasmom New Member

    I am sorry you had such a long, rough day yesterday. The county medical facilities can be very hard to deal with. I have Kaiser, and it is also very, very slow. Can't say I've ever had to wait an hour and a half for meds though. I do hope you continue to improve.

    It is very hard living at home with the folks. I was doing that until a couple of years ago. I have to say that living with anyone is very hard. Especially living with fibro, and with other people. When I am hurting really bad, expecially after I've been poked & prodded at the doctor's office, or when I'm in a flare, I'm not a nice person to be around. And, sometimes I snap at the people I love the most.

    It is too bad that your dad takes a little longer to forgive. But, it sounds like he will come around, eventually. The problem is that they will never understand - they simply can't. That is probably the biggest struggle I've had with this DD. The people I'm closest to just don't understand. Oh well, such is life.

    Well, take care & feel better. This too shall pass. Take care of yourself!

    Lots of love,

  5. fibrohugslife

    fibrohugslife New Member

    Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement.

    I felt really bad for snapping at them, and they were very upset about the way I acted towards them. They will never understand that I am entitled to snap once in awhile. That is just a no-no in my family. There is no way that I will have a perfect attitude all of the time.

    I talked to my dad today for a good while and apologized again and he was like it's okay. So we are good again.

  6. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    you are entitlement , yo apologized and give an are under alot of stress and physical pain...

    may i make a suggestions? ask aobut taking klonopin ...helps with sleep at night, pain and muscle spasms...oi need to p/u mint tomarrow this will two nights w/o any now...

    i need it so badly i have to move from one apt to another...


  7. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    you are entitlement , yo apologized and give an are under alot of stress and physical pain...

    may i make a suggestions? ask aobut taking klonopin ...helps with sleep at night, pain and muscle spasms...oi need to p/u mint tomarrow this will two nights w/o any now...

    i need it so badly i have to move from one apt to another...


  8. fibrohugslife

    fibrohugslife New Member

    What is p/u mint?

    I was going to ask about Klonopin but the only problem is that I can't really suggest anything over there. I have to follow with whatever treatments that they give me or they will cut me off from their plan.

    I have asked the office, and they are very strict there. This is a free plan from the county hospital and they are very strict with their rules. All the services I receive are free, blood tests, including the medications. I don't have any income.

    I guess they have trouble with people with not follow whatever medications and advice that they give.

    So I don't want to get dropped. I can't afford to lose any type of coverage I am trying to get my hands on. I can try at the other clinic I go to, see if they can prescribe it.

    Certain medications are hard for me to get with no proper health insurance. Also I am short on money as well, since my SDI money was exhausted.

    And soooo I am just taking whatever I can without endangering anything I have right now. If I had health insurance I could make suggestions and such for medication.

  9. fibrohugslife

    fibrohugslife New Member

    Hey girl how are you feeling? You have been in my thoughts and prayers.

    Yes my name is Nicole *smiles*

    I live in San Bernardino county near Diamond Bar.

    So I am stuck with the county hospital Arrowhead that is in Colton.

    Irvine is a bit of a drive to me which is about an hour drive granted that there is no traffic.

    Anaheim, it depends on where in Anaheim, and how bad the traffic is on the 57 or 91 freeways LOL. But it would take me about 45 minutes to get there as well.

    I remember reading something about you going there. I am not able to afford the co-pay right now and I am sure there is cost for the medication too, and it is just way out of my budget right now.

    I am trying to find things that I can do to make money from home, in order to get some health things done. I have searched a few posts, but a lot of those I can't do because of living with my folks.

    As for my dad we are cool, he asked me to look into the California High Risk insurance plans that was mentioned in the denial letter. So I will do that over the weekend.

    My mom and dad are pretty much devastated about the effect these illnesses have had on me. Also about me developing more illnesses to deal with. They did not believe me at first for a long time, until I had a nervous breakdown and they really saw the pain I was in.

    My mom worries constantly about me, and sometimes makes herself sick, and my dad is worried as well, he hides it better, but he is trying in any way that he can to help me.

    I am not in much pain right now and I believe the Neurontin, and Tramadol is helping with that.

    I will look them up and give them a call to see about it though. It is hard when you can't get the help that you need. Insurance companies find any way to deny you, and they do not care to help.

    I can't get Medi-Cal either unless I get SSI or SSDI. For Medi-Cal I had all sorts of problems with them, and state disability putting me on and off their disability roll.
    Then I went to court to have them overturn their decision that I was not disabled.

    Now my state disability checks have been exhausted so no more money.I am not able to work at all and I miss that terribly.

    As for the pain clinic in the hospital, it was not a bad visit, the student physician did everything. The only bad thing was the second pressure point test she did, as that hurt so bad. The pharmacy was just the worst because I had to sit in these majorly uncomfortable chairs and wait.

    This is not how I imagined my life to be and it is still to accept that I may be like this for a long time or for the rest of my life. People try to help me see that this is just short term but it is hard for me to see that, as I have suffered through so much in the past 7 years. 7 years does not seem like a short time for me.

    I do try to live a normal life as much as possible, and try to date men LOL I try, do school, and enjoy my hobbies if I can.

    Again thank you for your help. I will look up UCI or the Anaheim location.
    [This Message was Edited on 05/25/2006]

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