My husband and I have to go 3 1/2 hours to a grandson's birthday party this weekend. They have a very wealthy lifestyle that I don't envy--expensive home, expensive tastes, expensive vacations, and, to me, phoney friends. The parties are always very elaborate. The parents bring up stuff they feel I've done wrong in the past like not paying my son more to cover his college expenses. I kept telling him to come up with a budget and I would pay more but he didn't want to admit the money was going to dryclean his jeans and on beer.They are embarassed by our clothes, don't understand why I need to lie down instead of getting to know the grandchildren who are dictated to about their play, their friends, their making it in the best schools and are in 1 or 2 scheduled activities every day of their lives. It doesn't help that the other grandmother is Ms. Sociable herself. I put so much pressure on myself to be perfect that I am ill before I even get there, apologetic when I have to lie down a lot,and trying to fit in to this socialite setting. I have tried to get my daughter-in-law to accept me but she has friends come over to spend the day of the party and they sit and gossip and ignore me. She doesn't understand my illness and she is all get up and go. How can I go and not beat up on myself like this?