Visiting Son DIL Who Want to Take Us Everywhere Slow Down

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by bluestanglady, Jul 31, 2006.

  1. bluestanglady

    bluestanglady New Member

    My husband and I are visiting our newlywed son and his new bride this week out of state. After the long drive and sleeping in a strange bed, I'll be hurting anyway. But they want to take us out to see the sights all day the next day and then go to a outdoor event that same evening.

    Plus the next day after that they want to take us some other places. How do I say 'slow down' without sounding like a party pooper? They know of my condition but with young people, it seems to be 'it can't be that bad'! They just don't realize or 'forget' what it will do to me.

    How can I be a good guest but not a complainer?

  2. AnneTheresa

    AnneTheresa Member

    I totally relate. Usually what I do in a situation like this is tell people I need to live my life in two-hour blocks. I can do something for two hours (sight see) then I need to rest in bed for two hours. This still stretches me to the limit but with the frequent rest and some down-time after the holiday, I can usually keep up two hours at a time.

    God bless,
    Anne Theresa
  3. bluestanglady

    bluestanglady New Member

    Thanks Anne. I'm glad someone can relate to this. We wanted to stay in a hotel but they INSIST we stay with them and wouldn't take no for an answer.

  4. Lolalee

    Lolalee New Member

    You mentioned that this is your newlywed son and bride. I've been there and I did it the wrong way so from the voice of experience I would say that this is the PERFECT time to get them trained in what your limitations are. I might say something like "I hope you didn't go to too much trouble planning activities for us because lately my illness makes it impossible for me to participate in more than one short activity each day and some days even that is too much. I wish I could spend every minute with you but I need a lot of rest. If I do too much, I end up in bed for days at a time. Let's look at your plans and decide what I can participate in".

    Do not assume that they know your condition. They are not in your body and that would be the only way that they could truly undertstand what you can do. Be loving, be grateful, be humble, but above all, be honest. Maybe deep inside they would rather spend some quiet time at home and not run around so much.

    Good luck,


    P.S. I forgot to tell you if you are not honest from the beginning, you will hide feelings of anger from being overtired and those feelings have a way of presenting themselves at the most inopportune times and all of a sudden sweet little sick you becomes the itchy MIL. We can't have that.

    [This Message was Edited on 08/01/2006]
  5. bluestanglady

    bluestanglady New Member

    Thanks for the advice. It's nice to have others who have 'walked in our shoes'. Wish you guys were nearby!

    Thanks again.

    Hope everyone has a good and 'painfree' day.


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