Wanna lift your spirits? Think about those worse off than us

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by GoDaleJr, Nov 4, 2002.

  1. GoDaleJr

    GoDaleJr New Member

    I know I am one of the people on here who feel so crappy all the time in pain and depressed and feel hopeless and angry and everything else that some of you feel, but have you ever thought about people who are out there living, struggling with Cancer and other debilitating conditions?
    I have thought about volunteering for the hospice organization or for people with cancer. This seemed to lift my spirits a bit. Knowing there are people out there way worse off than we are. I mean Fibro isn't supposed to be debilitating and no one dies from it, right? Even though it feels like it to us.
    People with cancer ARE DYING.
    I'm not trying to make what we have any less important, but I know a lot of us wallow in our own self pity sometimes.
    I have a friend who has bone cancer and you should hear the things her doctors have told her!! It's unbelievable! Much the opposite of what our doctors are telling us. Her doctors tell her she'll never be able to walk again. They've told her that her hands are separating from her wrists and she'll never be able to use a computer or go for a bike ride, etc... Do you think she listens to them?? NOOOOO. They gave her 6 months to live over 2 years ago! That is when she decided to drastically change her life. She refused Chemotherapy and radiation cuz it made her sooo sick. She quit her job and left town, found a very caring boyfriend (lucky her) and they moved up to the north coast of California and she is very happy now. She also gets to smoke you know what so that might be part of her happiness, but it helps with her pain. And I feel soooo guilty for telling her about my pain. My pain is nothing like her pain. And now I understand why she was always so sick on the weekends after working all week at her job.
    Well, talking to her always makes me feel so much better. I just wanted to throw that idea out to some of you in case you think it might help you.
    Good luck and I hope you find some peace within yourselves.
    ~Gina
  2. GoDaleJr

    GoDaleJr New Member

    I know I am one of the people on here who feel so crappy all the time in pain and depressed and feel hopeless and angry and everything else that some of you feel, but have you ever thought about people who are out there living, struggling with Cancer and other debilitating conditions?
    I have thought about volunteering for the hospice organization or for people with cancer. This seemed to lift my spirits a bit. Knowing there are people out there way worse off than we are. I mean Fibro isn't supposed to be debilitating and no one dies from it, right? Even though it feels like it to us.
    People with cancer ARE DYING.
    I'm not trying to make what we have any less important, but I know a lot of us wallow in our own self pity sometimes.
    I have a friend who has bone cancer and you should hear the things her doctors have told her!! It's unbelievable! Much the opposite of what our doctors are telling us. Her doctors tell her she'll never be able to walk again. They've told her that her hands are separating from her wrists and she'll never be able to use a computer or go for a bike ride, etc... Do you think she listens to them?? NOOOOO. They gave her 6 months to live over 2 years ago! That is when she decided to drastically change her life. She refused Chemotherapy and radiation cuz it made her sooo sick. She quit her job and left town, found a very caring boyfriend (lucky her) and they moved up to the north coast of California and she is very happy now. She also gets to smoke you know what so that might be part of her happiness, but it helps with her pain. And I feel soooo guilty for telling her about my pain. My pain is nothing like her pain. And now I understand why she was always so sick on the weekends after working all week at her job.
    Well, talking to her always makes me feel so much better. I just wanted to throw that idea out to some of you in case you think it might help you.
    Good luck and I hope you find some peace within yourselves.
    ~Gina
  3. JP

    JP New Member

    There are always others in more difficult situations. We all have our own path, whatever it may be. I have a close friend with an aggressive cancer too. She inspires me with her courage.

    Take care,
    Jan
  4. dd

    dd New Member

    Hi Gina - I thank God everyday that I don't have cancer or some other illness that is terminal.

    I am so sorry to hear about your friend. It is hard to see someone you love live and deal with cancer.

    I am sending prayers and hugs your way.

    Blessings,

    Debbie
  5. CL

    CL New Member

    Perspective is a powerful medicine (with no side effects).

    ChiLad
  6. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    I think that`s a great point. I knew I try to remember to
    think of worse off people when I`m feeling really bad and down and it does really help.
    We`re here and we`re alive and we can walk and talk and see
    and hear. We can love. We can try to focus on what we do
    have instead of all the things we don`t have and can`t do.
    And best of all, we have each other!
  7. missvickielynn

    missvickielynn New Member

    As I mentioned to you when I replied to your post about being single and trying to survive with no help.......just reading about YOUR situation made me feel totally selfish for worrying about my situation. At least I do have a house and a car that is paid for, among other blessings.

    There was something else that I had originally included in my reply to your other post, but I edited it out. Now, I think it is appropriate to bring it up, in light of your topic here.

    My Mother died of lung cancer on April 28th, 2000. She was 70 years old. She (and I) found out she had lung cancer on March 15th, so she thankfully didn't suffer much longer after she found out she had cancer.

    Prior to about 1987, this was a woman who was never sick a day in her life. She was tough as nails and such a brave and independent woman. After she got sick with asthma, (which of course we now know was actually cancer) she went downhill pretty fast. Then she began to have terrible back, neck and hip pain, and before long she was on a walker. She knew she had asthma and COPD, and strangely enough, the Doc they sent her to for SSDI (in 1990) diagnosed her with FIBROMYALGIA! Of course, it was the lung disease that they awarded her disability for. But it was the Fibromyalgia that caused her to be in constant pain, and to end up on the walker. And my tough Mother, never took a prescription pain pill or any prescription except her asthma inhaler, until the month before she died.

    I Took Family Medical Leave from my job on March 27th to care for her, cause she wanted to die at home. Hospice provided a bed and oxygen and her meds, and a nurse and nurse's aid, counselors and chaplains. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, to watch her during that last month of her life. She was absolutely terrified, and the meds they were giving her did nothing to help her with that fear. I imagine when a person is slowly suffocating, that must be one of the most terrifying things in the world. I know it was for her.......and there was nothing I could do to make that any easier for her. She became terrified if I even left the room for more than a few minutes. I slept on the floor on a pallette beside her bed. She didn't want anyone else taking care of her but me. She had horrible panic attacks the few times an aid came over to provide respite care for me, so that I could get some sleep. She was so terrified and delirious that she scared the aids to pieces, and they would come and get me. But even I could not comfort her. We begged Hospice to give her stronger anti-anxiety meds, or something to help ease her fear and help her sleep. But to no avail.

    Nights were the worst for her.....that is when the fear really set in, cause she was so afraid she would not wake up. She fought sleep like crazy cause she was so afraid. It was so hard for her......GOD I wish she could have died peacefully!

    I still miss her every day. I still cry for her several times a week. I still have nightmares about watching her suffer, literally like a fish out of water, and being helpless to help her. But I am finally beginning to have good dreams about her, too.

    One more thing that I will share with you, though, that she told me a month before she died......before she became completely delirious with pain and fear and suffocation......she said that UP TO THAT POINT, the Fibromyalgia pain was more difficult, because she saw no end in sight. She told me that she would much rather die than to live another 10 years in that constant pain, and unable to do anything that she enjoyed.

    I recently read Gilda Radner's Book "It's Always Something!" Even though it is an old book, I had never read it. Didn't want to read about Cancer until after my Mom went through it. Very sad......she died of ovarian cancer........and she was diagnosed just a few years prior with CFS. Misdiagnosed? Who knows. But like she said,

    It's always something!

    And yes, things could always be worse.

    So............yes......we all should say our prayers of thanks every day, because things could always be worse.


    [This Message was Edited on 11/04/2002]
  8. s43

    s43 New Member

    With what u are saying , i was supprised with the responses u had because a couple of weeks ago i said the same thing that u said about selp pity a nd was told i wasnt needed on this site and that people do not feel self pity.so for 2 weeks i havent bothered to come to this site,which i have missed terrible, but felt i wasnt wanted here. take care luv sharon.
  9. s43

    s43 New Member

    Its nice to know there are decent folk out there.THANKS AGAIN.
  10. Betsy2

    Betsy2 New Member

    Gina,

    I try to keep in mind that it could be worse but sometimes it is hard. It is great to read a reminder to that affect and remember to count my blessings. Thank you!

    Nuff said

    Betsy
  11. kay

    kay New Member

    try and be positive. It is like when I worked at childrens hospital and you see kids with cancer, aids(sp)??? and they are fighting for their lives, and you see them laugh or even see a little smile on their little faces it sure does make you stop and think. Here they are dieing and they are making the most out of what time they have left. Yes I have always thought, of course there are people worse off then me.I thought that before I even had this cfs or fm. My boss from the hospital wrote the other day, and he asked how my health was doing? I wrote back something positive. I hate being negative! Even if I am having a bad day, I will be up when I am around people. No one Likes to be around Bla- down = negativity all the time. Thats just me! Dont get me wrong,I do have my days. Like Sat. my hubby walked in and i was balling and I would stop then cry again!! Was better after I got it out of my system!!! I wish I was rich for 1 day so I could help those who need --- help! Food clothes etc. Love Linda