want to get pregnant badly

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by baanders, May 26, 2006.

  1. baanders

    baanders New Member

    I'm Rebecca...almost 34 and have not tried to get pregnant (due to the pain that keeps me up at night) but I really want a baby. I want to get off the ultracet but how could I with this pain?
  2. mdempsey

    mdempsey New Member

    I don't really have any answers, but I will pray for you. I wasn't sick when I was pregnant, but alot of people feel better when they are pregnant
  3. place

    place New Member

    that many who get pregnant lose the pain fm symptoms when pregnant but they return after birth.
  4. KMD90603

    KMD90603 New Member

    Hi Rebecca. Obviously, the decision to have a baby is a big one to make. But, as far as the FM is concerned, I've heard many people say that they feel better during their pregnancy. However, you also have to consider how you may feel afterwards. You may not be getting enough sleep now, but you really won't be getting much sleep once you have a baby. Not trying to discourage you, but, definitely consider everything pre- and post-pregnancy.

    I have CFS, and I think I felt my greatest when I was pregnant. Afterwards, my symptoms came back with a vengance. And, I also developed FM to add to the CFS. But, there is nothing more rewarding than being a mother, so I don't regret my decision to have a baby. As tiring and painful as it can be, my son (now 5 years old) is my reason for getting up every day.

    Gentle hugs,
    Kim
  5. baanders

    baanders New Member

    Thanks for praying for me. That is the best thing anyone could do for me!!! Thanks for the encouraging words!!! I think worrying about whether I will have a baby is making the pain worse. How can I stop worrying? P.S. It kills when people tell me to adopt as a first option.
  6. baanders

    baanders New Member

    That's great news that the FM pain might alleviate with pregnancy. I don't care if it gets worse after...I can get right back on my pain meds. I can't imagine being bedridden while pregnant, though, because I was bedridden 4 years ago before I knew what was wrong with me...I think the fear of what is this mysterious illness made it worse. What do you think about going through life without ever having a child for someone like me who was a teacher and has a strong maternal instinct? Thanks and God bless.
  7. baanders

    baanders New Member

    Thanks for the words of wisdom and for sharing your story. I have a very supportive husband. Was your pain as insane as mine can be at times? How did you get through it? Prayer? Knowing that you brought a beautiful life into the world and the miracle of it all? What? God bless you.
  8. sjogrens

    sjogrens New Member

    Hello, I wanted a baby so bad I was willing to put up with anything. At the time I had endometrosis so I knew my time was short. I had a special surgery to help clean me out for pregnancy. I didn't know I had fibro. When I got pregnant my first baby I was so sick the whole pregnancy and my pelvic area and back and hips hurt a lot. I wanted the baby but the pregnancy to end. I did have her premature. The same happened with the last two. Only I didn't get sick. I loved being pregnant because of my dream of having a baby. I loved babies. I hated being pregnant because of the pain. I had no pain giving birth. I had an epederal and of course they were premies by a month. I don't want you to be scared of the pain. There was still the joys of know ing your pregant with your baby. Not every day is awful. Sometimes the doctor let me take a vicodin. once in awhile wouldn't hurt they told me.
    Basicly putting up with the pain was well worth it. And like others say some people have no pain and their fibro goes away for a short time. I just found out I have hypermobility syndrome which is why I had a lot of pain in pelvic and back. It is also the reason my water broke with all the babies. The uterus can only get so big when you have hms. I do wish you good luck. Adopting isn't a bad option. I am adopted and I had a great life I also found my birth family who accepted me well. I know what you mean about wanting a child of your own, I did to. I can give you ideas on getting preganant. I am not a doctor but I read a lot of books and I was succesfull at getting pregnant. I gave others advise and it helped. I don't know if they are myths or old wives tales or facts but we all thought the ideas helped us. Oh well I was just thinking just for fun!! Good luck and I hope you choose to go for it. I wansn't trying to scare you, I just wanted you to hear my side. Thanks lisa
  9. Hope4Sofia

    Hope4Sofia New Member

    This is a challenging decision.

    I didn't know I was sick when I got pregnant so I went blind.

    I had terrible pain in my second pregnancy and a very hard time after they(twins) were born. BUT! I'd do it all again to have my babies.

    I will say that parenting is difficult. I don't have the energy to do all the things I want to do with my kids.

    I also have trouble with sensory overload so the noise is really difficult to deal with.

    Mornings are a huge challenge, so getting the kids ready for school is hard.

    All of this is manageable because I have a terrific husband.

    I don't tell you these things to discourage you but to arm you. If you know these may be problems for you then you can be pro-active and plan for help.

    For instance, my hubby does the morning routine with our kids. I have earplugs on hand in case the sensory overload kicks in. Zoloft saved my life through the post-partum depression.

    Of course, the illness is always here and every day is a challenge.

    We ultimately decided that I can't go through another pregnancy. But I still toy with adopting one more. I just haven't been able to get well enough to handle another baby. :(

    What ever you choose, be at peace with it. It sounds like you've already decided you want to do this. So work with your docs and your support system and go forward with peace.

    Blessings,

    Sofi
  10. baanders

    baanders New Member

    Dear Lisa,
    I want to thank you dearly for your input! Everyone on my message board, including you, have been so kind. If I am to become pregnant (which I have never attempted, because my husband and I use over the counter birth control), I would like to get pregnant quickly. This way, it would be less of a hardship on me emotionally and physically. I know going into pregnancy I could face great pain. I keep praying for the pain to go away, but I don't know if this is realistic, since my clock is ticking. I used to be on morphine but now I take ultracet(much milder) at night and when I get stressed. Also, the pain is worse at PMS, which is another reason why I would want to conceive quickly. So what are some ways that I could get pregnant quickly? Thanks, Lisa.
  11. baanders

    baanders New Member

    Dear Sofi,

    What would your life had been like if you had never had a baby? I think about this as it pertains to my own life. I would be empty and would feel a loss and a void. BTW, I am a twin, and twins run every generation in my family. Do you have any tips on easing the pain during pregnancy? Thanks, Sofi :)
  12. sjogrens

    sjogrens New Member

    Hi my last baby is now seven so I have to think back here. I use to read a lot of pregnancy books back then. This is what I did. I gave my husband vitamin c every day. If I remember right starting the 9th day after your period starts start trying. Only once a day everyother day because you don't want him to run low on the sperm count. This way he can build up. Don't worry about wasting chances on those inbetween days because the sperm live a couple of days. Afterwards lay on your back and hold both legs up for a while. Especially if you feel a throbbing feeling in your ovary try to do it on that day. I use to get this throbbing little pain and I think I was ovulating. I don't know how much of this information is right or hogwash, but this is what I followed and it worked 4 times. My first one I miscarried. Also keep doing the every other day thing until the 20th day. At least do it the 10th day to the 18th day. If you can't for some reason. Plan it around the 14th day. so remember if you do it the 12th day then the sperm will still live in you a couple of days. Also your egg lives a while. So even every two days is probably good to try. Remember most people ovulate the 14 but that doesn't mean you won't sooner or later. If anyone notices I'm wrong on something please say something. This is all from memory.
    Good Luck, Lisa
    P.S. start taking prenatals now to give yourself and possible baby a good start.[This Message was Edited on 05/30/2006]
    [This Message was Edited on 05/30/2006]
  13. Hope4Sofia

    Hope4Sofia New Member

    Hey there.

    I can't imagine my life without my babies. I hardly remember not being a mommy. If you can manage it, I think you'll find it's worth it.

    As far as tips with a twin pregnancy...Well, be prepared for twice the everything.

    My nausea kicked in almost emediately. I think the only med that helped with that was phenergan and I got that in the hospital.

    ALSO - take your vitamins now because you may be too sick to take them later. It's good to at least be in good shape when you get preg. I had to stop the vitamins because they made me too sick. Another trick is to try them without the iron at first.

    The other huge issue was, of course, the pain. I had intense ligament pain. Had I understood my diagnosis back then I would probably have planned for the pain by setting up regular visits with a physical therapist and massage therapist. I did end up on percocet at one point but only for a week. (you don't want to take that long term).

    Mostly, give yourself a break. You won't be able to do much during those months and it may drive you crazy.

    It may not be easy but you sound determined enough to do it. And it could be the proudest accomplishment of your life.

    Blessings,

    Sofi
  14. halo52208

    halo52208 New Member

    I love babies also and got pregnant with my first two exactly on the 14th day from when my period started.

    But before you choose to do this, you need to be clean of the narcotic your on. You don't want anything left in your system that could harm your baby. I don't know how long ultracet stays in your body.

    I believe that if your meant to have a child, God will see to it that you get one. I agree with everyone that having a child is the most rewarding thing in the world.

    Hope this helps.

    Halo
  15. julieisfree05

    julieisfree05 New Member

    I had my first and only child when I was almost 35. It was a very carefully planned pregnancy, since I had developed FM/CFS when I was 27 and was retired on disability when I got pregnant.

    I had such a horrible sleep disorder that my doctors agreed that lack of sleep was potentially more harmful to the baby than taking Pamelor (nortriptyline). There was a long term study out the year before I got pregnant that showed children born to mothers taking doses for depression (up to 300mg daily) were statistically no more likely to have any physical or psychological problems than mothers taking nothing. I took only 25 mg at night, so I was comfortable with that.

    My fibro pain was not too bad during the pregnancy, but the migraines were brutal. My neurologist gave me codiene, but I only took it when I absolutely HAD to, because it caused severe nausea. My doctors told me that taking narcotics during pregnancy (within reason) would not be harmful to the baby, but I took as few as possible.

    My son was also a preemie. I've heard that it can be common among FM patients - especially if the baby is large. I think it's something to do with the ligaments stretching easily. I had a "walking epidural" and three pushes and there he was!

    For me, the fatigue of caring for a new baby was the hardest part. My future ex did more than most dads, but it was still hard.

    I also spent a year talking to a great therapist about my fears and expectations regarding having a child, and about practical ways to deal if I had a flare or crash. That was especially helpful, since I had a "backup plan" when the down cycles hit.

    My son is almost eight now, and I would do it all over again in a minute. He is the joy of my life, and although I've only been really healthy for the last year, he and I are very close and he knows that I would give my life for him.

    You don't mention a "partner" in your post. I can't imagine having gone through that first year without my son's dad - even if we are divorcing now. If you are thinking about having a child on your own, I would recommend (not that you asked!) being sure that you have a VERY strong support system if you need help! It doesn't mean you need a husband - sometimes you're better off without one! I'm talking about family, friends, or hired help if you need it.

    Good luck with your decision!

    julie (is free!)

    Men and mascara
    always run.. - Julie Roberts
  16. sjogrens

    sjogrens New Member


    Hi, Baanders I haven't talk to you in a while. I was wondering how it was going with you? Did you decide to get pregnant or try? Just curious.
    Talk to you soon, Lisa
  17. baanders

    baanders New Member

    Thanks for asking and for thinking about me! In general, I think the fibro is doing better because of a lot of vitamins and diet changes,etc. My husband wants a baby, too. Since the trend is moving towards a positive direction, I would like to get off of more of my medications before becoming pregnant...but I know one day soon it will be a reality. It seems like such a difficult decision decieding when to become pregnant. I went into a remission once before, so I thought I'd wait for another remission. Many people say they can't imagine their lives without their children...and there is that void. I was seriously panicking when I first wrote this post...how could a wonderful dream like this happen to me...and I wanted to hurry it up. But since I'm doing a little better, I think I should wait. What are your thoughts?

    Best wishes and God bless you!
    Baanders
  18. sjogrens

    sjogrens New Member


    I think as long as you don't have endometrosis or something that could keep you from haveing kids you should wait until its right. I think you are doing the right thing weaning off your serious meds and taking your vitamins. You will get pregnant when it is meant to happen.
    Either way I wish you good luck.
    bye bye
  19. baanders

    baanders New Member

    I agree...the doctor said that I do not have endometriosis. I believe that when the Lord wants me to have a child, He will make it clear.

    Thank you for your concern.
  20. agnaus

    agnaus New Member

    Baanders- I am only 6 weeks pg with my 2nd child. I wasn't diagnosed with FM with my first (4 yrs ago), I was only diagnosed a few months ago. I had my OB appt today and was told I could continue taking my Elavil, Lunest and Percocet. I was so happy and relieved as I haven't had a good night's sleep in 3 weeks since I found out I was pg. I can tell you that morning sickness sucks with FM because I personally find I ache much more after I puke every morning but in the end, it's ALL SO WORTH IT!! This will be my last child. And I won't breastfeed because I know I will get ppd HARD, like I did with my first one. I understand it's fairly common with FM patients. Good luck with your decision...you will never regret it!!