Was a DOAHOLIC and now just can't get happy...

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by hob, Jun 20, 2006.

  1. hob

    hob New Member

    I have been struggling to find satisfaction again in my life. I have had fibro for three years now and feel like I have it somewhat under control but I just can't accept that I can't be who I was before...

    How have you found satisfaction in your new self?

    What have you done to accept that you will no longer be the same person you were before?
  2. caroleye

    caroleye New Member

    I'm into my 20+ years of dealing with this, and disability now in my 60's. I still complain about my inabilities/limitations to "do, do, do", as I was an athlete as well as a full time career person.

    But over time, I had to recreate my life, and find other things that gave me some satisfaction........painting, arts & crafts, etc.

    I'm in another transition now, but working on another recreation of getting peoples' horses onto our property, as I can still ride; just can't do anything else physical.

    And it seems when I do "let go", things pop up pretty much daily that I need to address; just not the go-go things.

    Tough transition, I know.

  3. Fudge43

    Fudge43 New Member

    hob ... I read your bio and I'm sorry you have to deal with this at such a young age ...

    I was so busy when I was your age it amazes me how I survived it all .. husband was in the military .. on the move all the time .. left on my own with our young son for many months on end .. had to juggle everything .. but if I had felt the way I feel now .. nothing would have been accomplished .. so I understand how devistating all this seems to be.

    I get angry and frustrated with how I feel physically .. so there is no acceptance .. I have more problems happening .. seeing more specialists and I hate that .. but I realize how lucky I am to have access to good medical care .. I try not to take that for granted ..
    How do I handle things ( I have a husband with PTSD from the '91 Gulf War ) .. we support each other as best we can .. he has his interests .. fishing in summer .. me and my plant zoo (another name for my garden) .. simple things that you begin to appreciate a lot more when you feel you can't do anything ..

    Everyone is so different .. you just have to find out what you really enjoy .. what helps you relax .. things that you can handle .. don't beat yourself up over what can't happen anymore .. it doesn't do any good ..
    I hope you can find things to help distract you from thinking about your situation .. give yourself a break !
    Good Luck !
  4. hob

    hob New Member

    Thanks for the support. I am finding that before I was so much on the go that I didn't focus on me very much. I guess I should appreciate that this DD is forcing me to get to know me. I have always been one of those individuals who wants to care of everyone but myself. My biggest struggle though is the job aspect of it all how do I feel like I am still contributing in the workplace. I am really trying to find a job where I can use or apply one of my passions or in something that really interests me.
  5. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    OOooooooh, yeah.

    It's only lately, after 11 loooooong years, that I'm coming to realize that This Is My Life. And you know, it's finally OK.

    I did all those things, I had a lot of attagirls, I reached a lot of goals and helped many people reach theirs and I really missed all that for a long time. But that was then, this is now. I can live this life as it comes today or I can live in the past and miss today so that my future is full of regrets.

    What I finally did is write down (computer) all the things I've done, all my so-called accomplishments from motherhood to offices I've held in my community and responsible jobs I've had. It was quite an impressive list.

    Next I wrote down who I am without those things. Of course I'm still a mother but in a very different capacity with grown children - and a grandmother now, and I still love keeping my home attractive. Those things are still the same. But now I have more quiet pursuits (like reading. yoga, meditation) and very different, fewer friends from those I used to have when I was out and very about. I now have Internet friends that I used to have no time for! I can befriend people in different states and different countries! I have time to sit and look out the window at nature. I have time to listen without distraction.

    Today was another big change for me. I took my old cat to the vet for his final trip. I'm glad to have been able to do that for him, but so very sad and now here's another change in my life. No one waiting when I walk in the door, no one to purr me to sleep, no one to take care of but ME! That's scary.

    And yet nothing, NOTHING ever stays the same in this life and the sooner we realize that the sooner we can find out who we are.

    Hugs to the many people we all are,

  6. diva42597

    diva42597 New Member

    Now let me explain. I accept that I have more limitations, but I refuse to settle. I'm in my 20's too...I read your bio. I refuse to accept that I won't have wonderful, fullfilling years ahead of me. I refuse to accept that my career won't be just as rewarding with fibro as it would've been without. I refuse to stop going to the gym or doing the things I enjoy simply because I'm sick.

    To be honest these refusals are the reason I have seen a 60% improvement in my condition in the past 6 years. There are days where I don't want to leave the house. I force myself to get out and get moving. I find as the years go by the more agoraphobic I am tending to be. I still force myself to keep active in the community even though I'd rather be home alone.

    This disease will take your life and ruin it if you let it. It will make you wonder what happened and make you look at yourself like a shell of the former you. Don't let it. Accept that you have limitations. Be patient with yourself and make sure your hubby is patient with you. But don't let the disease control your life. Learn to manage the disease.

    The things I found that best manage it are exercise, an active lifestyle, scheduling, planning, and proper diet. These elements help me continue my life through the bad days. That and keeping a smile on your face doesn't hurt!!! My prayers will be with you. You'll get through it!

  7. hob

    hob New Member

    I will just keep chuggin a long and take many of your ideas in mind.