We fight so hard to get Social Security Disability. When we get the award of SSD, we are so happy and feel good. But much later I felt the finality that no matter how much I tried, I really was permanently disabled and would not recover. I kept thinking that I had always conquered so much in my life, that eventually I would conqure the disabilities too--didn't happen. After many years, I finally gave up my car handicapped plaquard that I put in the front window and got a handicapped license plate, which was because I faced I couldn't conqure the disabilities. As the years passed, I found out a cruel fact. That when you have disabilities, it seems to weaken you and you get more disabilities as the years go by. I remember being disabled for 6 months and getting the systemic lupus diagnosis and feeling stunned and wondering where did it come from. As the years have passed, I have been accommulating other disabilties and in talking to other disabled, it seems all too common. I don't even mention the name of the new disabilities now because I feel that doing so will give them power and strength and I'm trying to deal with them and try to force them to not be as strong. So with being awarded SSD comes that great feeling of success, but it will also probably bring the curse of more disabilities to you. Sorry to tell you about that.