Well, I bit the bullet and asked the question. FMS please read.

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by abbylee, Oct 26, 2005.

  1. abbylee

    abbylee New Member

    Once in a while I see posts here that mimic my "sometimes for just a minute" thoughts.

    Someone will post and say that he/she wonders if fibromyalgia is real or all-in-his/her head. I've thought that from time to time because there are so many people who look at me like they think it's all-in-my-head, but finally my better judgement takes over and I know that it could not be all-in-my-head. But still, there is that occasional doubt.

    I listen to talk radio a lot and today I found a station that I'd not heard before, and a woman - "Dr. Laura" was - answering a "therapy - type" question. I've never heard this woman before and don't know anything about her, but I decided to send her an email and ask the question. (On her website it says that you can't send a problem, but you can make a comment.) So I decided to ask it in a question without saying anything about having it.

    I said, "I've been hearing about a condition called fibromyalgia. Do you think this condition is real or is it psychosomatic?"

    Her response was, "real"

    As I said, I don't know anything about this person and she may be a terrible doctor, but I'm going to try really hard to stop beating myself to death for something I can't help regardless of what anyone else says.

  2. sunflowergirl

    sunflowergirl Well-Known Member

    This surprises me.....her response. By the way, you do know that her doctorate is in something totally unrelated to psychology. I want to say it is along the lines of clinical research. Someone out there will know what it is. She has made a "business" out of common sense and because she is a doctor everyone assumes it is in psychology.

    I know what you're talking about.....is this a real condition or in my head.

    I saw a new doctor on Monday and I was hesitant to say anything about FM. He said he knew the symptoms were real, that we really felt the pain, etc. it's just that the medical community cannot pin point this "whatever" and say ah ha.....that's FM. Until they can give a laboratory diagnosis they can only say that the symptoms seem to be all lumped together. He also said that what we have could be indicative of something else because of such overlapping symptoms.
  3. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    She endorses the Cuddle Ewe for us Fibro folks.

    I am not a fan of hers, but it is good to hear that she said that.

    In reality more and more Drs. and other medical folks are accepting Fibro and also CFIDS as real. Many people know of someone with it and how painful it is, etc. Really we have made gains in more acceptance.With more acceptance I hope we get more research!

    Fibro Hugs to you.....
  4. abbylee

    abbylee New Member

    I thought it was great when I heard her say that. It's good to know more about her, but I hope she's liked well enough that she doesn't do harm to saying it's real!!!

    If, for instance, people don't believe her then they may think fms is not real since she says it is. Oh, dear me.

    I guess it's good that it was an email and I didn't call the show!!

  5. pirtpain

    pirtpain New Member

    Are you from the Bay area?? I know who Dr. Laura is too. Anyway, it never ceases to amaze me that so many Drs. and healthcare providerss are still so naive about FM. The best Dr. to see is a Rheumatologist. If the one you see knows

    nothing about the subject find another one. This illness is NOT IN YOUR MIND!!!!You are very ill and need to have a team of Drs. helping you. Phychiatrists are handle the depression that you will experience and the medication

    to help you with your sleep. The Rheumatologist can diagnose you, and help with pain meds. there are no tests
    or xrays that prove your illness therefore others are

    skepticle as to the reality of the FM. You need to learn as much as you can about it as this will be with you forever.
    Continue with the info. online and in chat rooms. It is very


  6. dafoefan

    dafoefan New Member

    She advertises the cuddle ewe bed cover which claims 80% of fibro patients sleep better with it during her show.

    Personally, I can't stand her. My sister and her husband and my husband listen and like her. She bugs the crud out of me. She has a current book out entitled "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". She is very popular in the Los Angeles radio market.

    You don't need some random person on the radio to tell you what you have is real. It is real you know it, I know it, and I can't believe anyone here doesn't believe it.

    OK, sorry the thought of that women gets me crazy - JMHO, Lisa
  7. abbylee

    abbylee New Member

    Katemac - thank goodness you like her. I feel better about it now.

    Pirtpain - I have an md and a neurologist. I've never needed an antidepressant though throughout the years I've tried them from time to time, but my md's wife has fms so he's up-to-date, and my neurologist did my sleep study and prescribes Xyrem so I'm sleeping.

    The Xyrem has made a big difference and usually with the Methadone and Oxycodone I keep my pain from getting me to far down most of the time - though the hurricanes don't help.

  8. abbylee

    abbylee New Member

    dafoefan - I loved your response, but didn't mean to upset you. It's just nice to see someone get passionate about something from time to time, and I don't doubt one bit that you can't stand her!! Good for you for expressing your opinion so strongly!!

    When so many people make you feel like you're not "really" sick for so many years, once in a while there's a doubt.

  9. springrose22

    springrose22 New Member

    I have CFS, not Fibro, but hey, everybody, it's all REAL. VERY REAL! Don't doubt that for a minute. What is also real, is the very uninformed medical community, which makes things worse for us all who suffer so much, can't work, etc. Not all Dr.'s are uninformed, can't say that, though. Now, I was going to say something profound, but my brain fog, is getting in the way.....Love to all, Marie
  10. matthewson

    matthewson New Member

    because I have never doubted for a minute that this isn't real! I went from no pain to mega-pain after having a hysterectomy which triggered this! Even my family and friends know it is real as they know what I was like before and after surgery!

    I think a lot of the time FMS is a longer onset type of syndrome. If this wasn't such a sudden thing to happen to me, I would probably doubt it's existance too, but to have this develop out of the blue made me a believer real quick!

    Please everyone, don't ever doubt that FMS is not real!

    Take care, Sally
  11. abbylee

    abbylee New Member

    katemac - since I don't know and (other than yesterday) haven't heard her before all opinions are safe with me.

    matthewson - I noticed symptoms when I was 12 years old so it's been a long hard haul here. I was 42 or so when diagnosed and am 54 now.

  12. poodlemommy

    poodlemommy New Member

    There is no doubt its real. I won two law suits based on fibromyalgia and do you think the insurance companys would pay out on something that doesnt exist. All of my doctors support fibro 100%. Is it in our heads? What I beleive is the stress in our minds makes is escalate but the physical condition was already there. So never ever think its not real. NO one in their right mind would fake or imagine pain like this.
    hugs poodlemum
  13. PepperGirl52

    PepperGirl52 New Member

    Most of the time I really like her. There are times I feel she goes 'over the top' and I just discard that and move on with my own ideas. No one dictates my thoughts or feelings, anyway.

    But I knew that she felt Fibro was real from her advertisement of the 'cuddle ewe' mattress toppers. She's mentioned fibro many times on her program and when she promoted the mattress toppers. I have often wondered if she or a loved one actually have this disease??

    Oh well. To each their own!! :) PG
  14. SoxFan

    SoxFan New Member

    I have always worked. My kids are now 15, 13, and 8 (and they have managed to survive, and even flourish!).

    I work in a high tech field, and worked hard to establish my career. If I had left the working world to stay home with the kids, I would not have been ablt to simply pick up where I left off once the kids were in school. Now that my kids are in school, I am able to work during their school hours, then we all get home around the same time. Stay at home Moms are left with few options(none well paying)once the kids are in school.

    Women work for many different reasons. Speaking for myself, I never want to have to depend on anyone else to support me. In a world with a 50% divorce rate, a lot of women find themselves in a tough position if they are divorced with kids, and have no job skills. I take great pride and solace in knowing that if anything happened to my husband's job, his health, or our marriage, I would be able to support my family.

    You also spoke of the teamwork involved in marriage. I think having two people working exemplifies teamwork. I am proud to be able to add significantly to our family income. My working also takes a load of stress off my husband, because he doesn't have to worry as much about what would happen if he should lose his job.

    Our sisters back in the 60's worked very hard in pioneering opportunity and equal rights for us. I think we should honor them by celebrating our choices.

  15. abbylee

    abbylee New Member

    Thanks to each of you for your responses. I think we've gotten off-topic as all I really wanted to say was that she answered my question with "real."

    I have been to so many doctors who tell me that I am imagining all of this that the thought comes to the surface from time to time. That tends to happen when someone (many someones) put an idea in ones' mind. At least it does for me.

    Logically I know it's real, but occasionally I wonder just like many others.

    I didn't know that she's involved with the mattress topper because I don't have one and haven't investigated it. Sorry.

  16. SoxFan

    SoxFan New Member

    Just felt the need to defend working Moms!

    After 2 1/2 years, I will still have those times when I think that I'm at least exaggerating the way I feel, if not imagining it altogether. Then I'll have a day when I feel a little glimmer of the way I used to feel - the way I'm SUPPOSED to feel - and I know my illness is definitely real.
  17. abbylee

    abbylee New Member

    SoxFan - That's what I'm talking about! But logic always takes over.

    But as I said - for many many years I was treated as someone who was a hypochondriac and those thoughts are in my brain just like the ones that say it's real. I've never been able to control my mind from initial thoughts.

    Once the thought is there,though, I'm pretty good at telling it where to go! LOL !

  18. SoxFan

    SoxFan New Member

    In the end, you really have to trust yourself and believe in yourself! Also, you need to be kind to yourself. I've only started doing this recently. I'm talking about the way many of us beat ourselves up so often. I now try to think of what I'd say to a best friend who had this illness. It takes practice, but I'm getting there!
  19. abbylee

    abbylee New Member

    In 1996 my doctor sent me for the proceedure in which they put a tube down your throat to make sure there is no damage, etc., from acid reflux.

    After the test (which was normal, of course), the doctor asked me if I was being treated for any other condition. When I said, "Fibromyalgia," he said that the problem with the high cost of medicine is directly related to "you people who think you hurt. Your imagined pain takes good doctors away from patients who are really sick."

    I was livid because I'd been with my md for years and he knew my pain was real, but still too drugged to deck the guy!

    In my state doctors don't give narcotic pain meds for fms, so when I moved here, I kept my doctor from another state.

    The parks and such in this state are still segregated, too, so I don't hold out much hope for the future of fms. (When I say segregated, I mean that everyone can go, but one race is on the right side and the other is on the left.) This is 2005, isn't it?

  20. FibroJo

    FibroJo New Member

    Well abbylee, I too bit the bullet this week and point blank asked my doctor if she truly believed in Fibro and she said a " Most Definitely" and she reassured me that more and more of the medical community is becoming true believers and they are learning more and more about it.

    Though our pain tells us it is REAL, it is reassuring to hear that the medical community is actually getting into this disease and believing in it and studying it.

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