well i finally did it

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by fibolady, Oct 9, 2002.

  1. fibolady

    fibolady New Member

    that is told my inlaw to step outside and i was tired of her ignoring me. now, the quick story and should i have kept my mouth shut. (no, not to step outside to punch, hehe)

    for over 5 years i have asked her to PLEASE not come to my house wearing her perfume (can't imagine how much she much use everyday!) for years i would grin, bear it, have a headache. my senses have really been keen the last few years and it has been unbearable. so, i would try not to be "home" when she arrived to pick up the grandchild.

    why do people continually disregard our health issues. i would never intentionally do anything to anyone that would make them suffer.

    it did feel good to finally stand some ground! gosh, and these women think they smell good.

    so what do you think? i'm going to bed now but can't wait to see some replies to this one.

    warm regards, fibolady



  2. fibolady

    fibolady New Member

    that is told my inlaw to step outside and i was tired of her ignoring me. now, the quick story and should i have kept my mouth shut. (no, not to step outside to punch, hehe)

    for over 5 years i have asked her to PLEASE not come to my house wearing her perfume (can't imagine how much she much use everyday!) for years i would grin, bear it, have a headache. my senses have really been keen the last few years and it has been unbearable. so, i would try not to be "home" when she arrived to pick up the grandchild.

    why do people continually disregard our health issues. i would never intentionally do anything to anyone that would make them suffer.

    it did feel good to finally stand some ground! gosh, and these women think they smell good.

    so what do you think? i'm going to bed now but can't wait to see some replies to this one.

    warm regards, fibolady



  3. garyandkim

    garyandkim New Member

    Did hubby support you on this? Hope so. I've done it with friends and they had no problems.

    Take care, Kim and Gary
  4. ssMarilyn

    ssMarilyn New Member

    You did exactly the right thing. I used to not be bothered by anything...perfume, cigarette smoke, etc... but for the past few years, this stuff makes me nauseated and gives me a headache. I would have NO problem requesting someone NOT wear cologne in my home. Why suffer needlessly? I hope you had a good night's sleep!

    Marilyn :)
  5. JaciBart

    JaciBart Member

    In my humble opinion, a very wise former boss drilled into my head "when you de-value your product you are telling people what it is worth"

    We have to think enough of ourself to command respect, set the boundaries & stick up for ourselves.

    Good for you.

    I was wondering also about how your hubby dealt with it? I would think it maybe would have been better if he had handled it for you.

    Please update us.

    Good luck,
    Jaci
  6. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I once had a woman sit next to me at a meeting and her perfume made me sick. I said to her in a very nice way, "It's nothing personal, but I am allergic to your perfume." Then, I moved to another seat. She and her friend were very much offended and whispered about it all through the meeting. She was saying, "I don't have THAT much on." They just don't get it. They can't even smell their perfume after a while.

    Love, Mikie
  7. Carlacat

    Carlacat New Member

    We have city water and when I drink it I can smell the chemicals they put in the water so bad it makes me sick. I feel like I'm drinking out of a swimming pool. Yeak..I think they put more chemicals in the water cause they found out that Dupont is the cause why they found C8 in our drinking water. There is a big contraversey over this with Dupont but they say its not enough to hurt anyone. I do believe there is a pending law suit from a town near for this, it makes me wonder if maybe that is part of my illness. I dont like to drink the water but cant afford to go buy water.
    Take Care
    Carla
  8. G

    G New Member

    If only these people who act like simpletons would get the message. If they got headaches and down right sick for days from their so call "lovely scent" , they wouldn't think twice about telling anyone else what we have to tell them.

    The summer was my wonderful In-Laws 50 th wedding anniversary and I wanted to be there - so we got the word out to all the families not to wear any scented products, even to their clothing. We had one couple who didn't do this and you could smell them even when I was sitting several feet across from them. I politely got up and had one of my brother in law's help me move upwind from those two. I was asked why I had moved back so far away from the family and I said politely "That there were some wearing scented products and it was making me ill, and I didn't want to be in bed for days getting over it". The couple looked straight at me, looking through their sunglasses and with their mouths open. Guess, the next family outing they may heed the plead. Hope so.

    G

  9. Lanie

    Lanie New Member

    I finally had to put a sign on my door, which now reads:
    No Smoking and No Shoes in the house. It took a bit of time, but now even my mom smokes outside.

    You did the right thing.
    Lanie
  10. kredca4

    kredca4 New Member

    My hubby smokes, but he has to go outside and he can not smoke in the car with me, he hans his hand out the window and thinks that keeps the smoke from bothering me. I can't Stand the smell of Nictione. My clothes that I left up in Idaho at his house have to be washed before I put them in my closet, they stink. I'm doing his too.

    I know about the perfume, It dosen't bother me, but it does my Sister's who have FMS. I put a little on a pretty Hankerchief, like the old day's when Ladies carried hankerchiefs. That way I can smell it, but not bother others.

    Cleaning products bother me more than they use to, so I'm finding others without all the fragrances added.

    Sincerely
    kredca4
  11. kredca4

    kredca4 New Member

    I told my In-Laws that they couldn't smoke at my House, I set up a nice area outside for in the Summer and we had a Travel Trailor to keep warm in during the winter.

    They Quit coming over for visits, yeah.
    What a Bonus, no chainsmokers and no pettyness to put up with.
    Sincerely
    kredca4
  12. inpain3

    inpain3 New Member

    smoking in my house....yep, MY house. since i pay for it with MY disability money, it is MINE. my mother inlaw actually got mad and said no one would ever visit me because of my "stupid rule". i told her i could care less....
    quick rundown of that day. he hubby came in and asked for an ashtray. i said i didnt have any because i dont let ppl smoke in my house. that witch, (putting it nicely) had the nerve to say out loud."go ahead and smoke, you can smoke in here" as if it were HER house....well, needless to say, i went off the deep end on her and she hurried home...
    as for her perfume, she is 60 something yrs old and wears enough perfume for me, and 10 more women...she dresses like a tramp...but that is another post.lol
    well i personally think you were absolutely right..and more power to you hon!
    God bless!

    inpain3
  13. fibolady

    fibolady New Member

    and yes my spouse stands behind me 100%, even though it is his mother. she is the "other" truck always running me over!
    she runs a lot of people over.

    i know i have MCS (mult. chem. sens.)even though it hasn't been diagnosed and have gradually tried to switch all my household products to non-scent and no chemicals. i love the seventh generation laundry products made with no petroleum.

    just walking through the grocery store can send me in a spin because of all the smells. have you noticed that everything is scented, whewwwwwwww. i think that is part of the reason i always find myself in a flare after a grocery trip.

    when i was young i would clean with all types of chemicals and spray the yard and bushes with chemicals. boy, was i ignorant. i hope to teach my children to have a "chemical" free life as much as possible. i do think that is part of the reason i am "sick" now.

    thanks again for all your replies, fun reading!
    warm regards, fibolady

    p.s. she just looked at me in disbelief, i just hurried her out the door, said goodbye and closed the door! hard to believe, because she is the type that "always" speaks her mind.



    [This Message was Edited on 10/11/2002]
  14. TeresaBnGA

    TeresaBnGA New Member

    Hi,
    You would think that someone would honor our wishes but they don't and in my opinion it is like this-if you did not allow smoking in your home no one would smoke or if you were allergic to animals they wouldn't bring their animals over. So what is the difference?! If you have asked her not to and she still refuses to honor your wishes, then she has a major problem!!
    Post you a sign on the door "No Perfumes"! See if that helps and also get your hubby to talk with her. If that does not help, don't let her into your house! Good luck!
    Soft hugs!
    Teresa :)