Well, the time has come...

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Tigger57, May 20, 2006.

  1. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    My rheumy told me Thursday night that I need to apply for disability and any town or state help I can get. He’s watched me go downhill for a year now and he’s worried about my physical and mental well being. I’m very depressed.

    I told him that I can’t see how I could possibly get disability… he gave me the number of a lawyer who does disability cases and he has worked with him in the past. The the doc scanned through my record and said, "you shouldn't have a problem getting it with what is here." He didn't even take into consideration all the times I went to my primary care doctor before I ever even got to him. She's a file on me that's about the size of war and peace.

    He believes that I need to work… but only part-time. He insists that I have to have insurance because without the patch I can’t get out of bed and he knows that I can't stop cold turkey because the withdrawal could kill me. He also realized that in my spare time I do nothing but sleep and try to ease my pain. Not much of a life. Heck, I’ve lost over 100 pounds since January 1991 and I haven’t been able to even enjoy it. It's a beautiful day here and what am I doing? I'm sitting on the couch with a warm blanket on me (my legs are cold) and I keep drifting in and out of sleep. That's a life? I don't expect to dance the night away, but I'm to the point that I just wish I was never born.

    Pride has been in my way, but the thought of living on the streets and without my fur-babies put things in a different perspective. Oh, and then I got hit with the fact that this job really is only temporary. I have to apply (AGAIN) if I want it full time, but it had to be posted to the member organizations and they will get preferential treatment.

    Some day I would really like to get on here and have some good news for you all.

    I am so thankful that I have such a wonderful rheumatologist. He is very right... it's time because the more I fight to just try and survive, the sicker I seem to get. Even I've been worried about my depression and anxiety. The panic attacks are awful.

    I know so many of you have been worried about me, but just maybe (and I'm afraid to say it) I can get some help and start feeling a little better. Please cross your fingers and/or say your prayers. I'm going to need them.

    Hugs,
    Tigger




  2. suzetal

    suzetal New Member

    I thought the same thing when I had to apply for ssd no longer could work.It was also my doctors who took me permanently out of work.

    They were right I could no longer go on.

    You will be OK .I have read many of your post and I know your a Strong person and you have fought hard.

    Once your on ssd .It seems like a stress has been lifted .Like trying to figure out how are my going to make through another day working.So I started to relax a bit and choose some little hobbies that make me happy.

    Take care neighbor.I am also in RI.

    Sue
    [This Message was Edited on 05/20/2006]
  3. libra55

    libra55 New Member

    I'm thinking of you. If you can get disability by all means get it. You've earned it. You are such a hard fighter. I've followed all your posts and know what you went through.. It's time to give you a break now. Whatever you qualify for take it.

    Dont give up those furbabies either, they have got you this far believe me. I would die without mine. They have been a source of comfort on endless bad days, through breast cancer, FM flares, and Crohn's flareup one would lay on the bed right next to me and the one that is too fat to get on the bed would be right on the floor next to me. They are my best friends, when my family has insulted, walked on and downright disrespected me my dogs have been there for me.

    My daughter will be going to school in RI (Roger Williams) in the fall....

    I wish you soft (((((((hugs))))))and peace, and thank God for your rheumy.

    Michelle
  4. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    Try to look at the good things even when we feel there aren't any ,sometimes it's all in the way we talk to ourselves.
    Some extra hours off may help you to regain some of your health.
    I know that I can not work because of my panic attacks.So I am sure those will get better for you given time.
    Talk to your self like you would your best friend if he was going Thu all of this.
    One really good thing is your Doctor sounds like a wonderful man.Who really wants to help you and cares about you.
    So many of us can't even find a doctor that believes we are in pain.
    As corny as it sounds" count your blessings" .Try to look at this as the beginning of your life getting back on track , and making you number one in your life.I believe there is a part of this DD that tries to kill our spirit .Don't let it get to yours.
    And when I'm down tell me the same things.We are all in this TOGETHER.We may not be able to pay your bills but we can cry with you and more importantly we can share laughter, at times on this board ,that only we understand.
    Hang in there you are in our prayers.
  5. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    This is very difficult for me, but I do realize that I now have to do it. My rheumy is wonderful and he's frustrated. How can he have the appropriate tests done when I can't afford it.

    My only real fear about housing is my fur-babies... unfortunately, subsidised housing won't let you have more than "one small pet" most of the time. How do I choose? They have all helped me so much.

    I may or may not get it, but for sure, I'm getting worse. Even my hands and feet hurt now. You should hear me when I try to get up. It loud and not very nice words.

    Thanks for your support. I fought the good fight, but I can't continue. I don'e have it in me to continue to fight.
    Thanks,
    Tigger
  6. suzetal

    suzetal New Member

    Hi again .Boy do I wish you lived closer to me we could meet and get to know each other.I'm in Lincoln RI its about an hour from you.

    I am giving you my Law firm name that won for me and also 2 friends of mine.They are awesome.Also have a 95% success rate.And if you don't win before the judge they take it all the way.

    Name is Marasco & Nesselbush,LLP
    685 Westminster Street
    Providence RI
    Phone 274-7400
    If the other firm does not work for you.I know theses guys and gals are very good.

    If you loose your first time they take care of your first appeal.

    Take care

    Sue PS I would gladly take one of your furbabies for you .I love pets and I have lots.One more would not make any more work for me.

    [This Message was Edited on 05/20/2006]
  7. lovethesun

    lovethesun New Member

    I am so glad that you are applying and I think that you'll get it.Just think,all testing will be covered and so will your meds.I am hoping that things turn out for you.Linda
  8. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    Please apply. You can now work part time as well as getting DD and earn up to I think 10,000 so this may make all the difference to you.

    Love Anne C
  9. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    I'm so afraid of applying and so afraid of NOT applying. Does that make sense to anyone?

    My rheumy thinks its necessary and since I seem to get worse as time goes on, I guess it is necessary. He really wished that I had done it last fall and would have saved myself a bunch of hurt and worry.

    I still would like to know... When you get your SSI or SSDI check, do they take taxes out of it?

    Tigger
  10. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    answer is no for that...they have some formula on your 1099 you receive at the end of the year that tells you whether you need to file or not...

    i didn't need to.. most people do not...

    file and get it in motion it will be a relief...

    jodie
  11. suzette1954

    suzette1954 New Member

    time. I was the one who finally said, I can no longer work with the disease. It takes everything we have just to make it through a day(or night). Know that I will be praying for you.

    Listen to your dr about the lawyer. It will be your best chance of getting the SSDI and in a timely manner. We do understand the feelings you have now. Im still working on my case. It could go on for yrs.

    Please take care of yourself.

    Suzette
  12. IntuneJune

    IntuneJune New Member

    May be Suezetal can answer this question.

    Is your first appointment with the lawyer a free appointment?

    If so, take the stress off yourself right now, the fear of should or should not be doing this.

    If the appointment is free, you are not committing any of your resources to go, no money, and try to take the emotional stake out of this also.... (easy for me to say). Like another poster suggested, treat yourself as a friend. Go to the appointment as an advocate for a good "friend."

    Just go for information. That's all, just information.

    Make a list of questions.....before hand.... ie, could you make a little extra money supplementing the disability income.....I bet members here could assist in helping you ask the important questions.

    No ACTION is necessary on your part at this time, relax. After you have ALL the CORRECT information, your situation may be clearer.

    Fondly, June





  13. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    Looking back, I wish your original employer would have worked with you instead of forcing you out after all the years you gave . It makes me sick.
    I'm sure the stress of the new jobs helped push you over the edge. I am so sorry for all you have endured.
    Recently I was sitting at the hospital and overheard a conversation. A wife asked her husband what his life goal was.
    He barely paused and said "to survive".
    I thought "my God", isn't that the truth!!
    We are all just making it one day at a time.
    I sincerely hope everything falls into place for you. You so deserve a break. It sounds like your doctor is going to be a huge help.
    I wish you all the best.
  14. IntuneJune

    IntuneJune New Member

  15. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    I have gone to see Atty. Morasco. He was so nice. I need to send him a box of tissues though. You can't have me in your office talking about this stuff and expect me not to cry.

    He was very nice. I'm meeting wiht him again on Friday to help finish up the paper work.

    I hope I don't have to suffer to long like this. I've got so much crap going on right now.

    I fell halfway down the stairs to the basement (cement)... I had flip-flops on and my cat stepped on either my flip or flop....but I ended up on my face and then my back. I don't even know how that happened.
    Tigger
  16. libra55

    libra55 New Member

    Hope your ok Hon, that sounds like a nasty fall. I keep you in my prayers.

    ((((Hugs)))))
    Michelle
  17. Greeneyes2

    Greeneyes2 New Member

    Tigger are you OK? I haven't seen an update from you and I have been following your struggles.

    I know how hard it is to stop working and file for SSD, I had to stop working in Nov of 2004 and finally filed for SSD last October.

    Anyway, I just wanted you to know someone is thinking about you and wishing you well.

    Gentle hugs,
    Denise

  18. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    I have always found your postings to be written by one tough lady. You are tough and can get through all the filings and such.

    You have a wonderful Dr. That I am happy about for you. No real easy answers. But sort of "step back" and look at it as someone elses problem.

    What would you say to this someone else? You deserve some breaks and I think this is one for you. Takes a little adjusting, but could very well be for the best. Try and look at the bright side..and I know that is hard.

    Wishing you the very best, gentle hugs and Blessings to you,
    Susan







  19. mme_curie68

    mme_curie68 New Member

    Poor Tigger!

    It's so stressful going into an unknown situation. But I agree with the others, if your doctor says it's time, then it's time.

    The wonderful thing about Rhode Island is TDI. But in order to collect TDI, you can't be working at all.

    You can collect TDI for up to 30 weeks. Just go to the Rhode Island Department of Labor and Training on RI.gov.

    Hugs.
    Madame Curie
  20. lvjesus

    lvjesus Member

    I too feel compelled to reply although I can offer nothing but support and prayer (always the best thing anyway) which I offered up as soon as a read your post.

    I too consider you a friend here and have missed seeing you here as often as I used to although I have been off more than on lately too.

    You do deserve a break, you have worked very hard to stay employed and self supporting. I too thought of the roommate idea and maybe you even know someone that might move in.

    Of course roommates create a whole new set of problems sometimes so it would have to be someone who understood about all your problems. Maybe there is a support group in your area that would turn someone up with the same needs as you so that you could support and understand each other.

    Turn it over to God and He will always hear your cry. That is not a platitude, I know it to be true in my own life. Not too many months ago I was in total dispair about my situation (not FM tho) and did not even know what to pray for.

    I simply said, God I don't even know what to ask for but please help me. Let me say that He answered my prayer and restored me fully very very soon after.

    Please let us know how it goes for you.

    God Bless,
    Sonya