What causes anger outbursts and rage episodes?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by WendyC, Jun 21, 2006.

  1. WendyC

    WendyC New Member

    Boy do I blow up some times and I am angry and say awful things and am verbally abusive. I also can't remember the episode after it happens, at least I can't remember details. It always happens on a friday or saturday when I have been stressed and pushed to the limit and then one stressor puts me over the edge and I flip out. I really hate this part of me. This never happened before I got sick. My husband says that he can't take much more. (of course he is not helping to remove stress, he is one of my main stressors and demands that I work for him in his business as well as working full time as a teacher, and he won't do anything at home, shopping, cleaning cooking, animal care, nada). Anyway, why does this happen? Who else does it happen to? What can I do. I feel like its my adrenals or something. It feels organic and hormonal. My doctor wants to put me on bipolar meds. I am at my wits end and really need help. Thanks

    wendyc
  2. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    WendyC:

    You have so many things to do while being sick. I would be angry too and would sit down and have a good talk with the hubby.

    My suggestion is that it might be good to somehow simplify your life and then just do it, letting the chips fall where they may.

    Simplify, it's too much for you.

    nyrofan
  3. victoria

    victoria New Member

    Anger outbursts are also a symptom of Lyme and/or coinfections with stealth pathogens (so-called because they can hide from your immune system, yet depress it and make you sick in whatever way you are genetically susceptible).

    - add that to the fact that more and more people with CF/FM are showing up with positive Lyme tests and/or just responding to abx treatment since the CF/FM 'clinical picture' does fit Lyme. The actual blood test, the Western Blot, is not 100% accurate, but is the best available that is accepted by the establishment.

    Just a thought, hope it helps... so sorry you're in this position!

    Victoria

    PS- I just want to make clear that I'm not saying you don't have a right to be upset, by the way, as you sound like you are in a difficult position with the expectations placed on you smashing into the reality of these DDs, CF/FM.

    I am just suggesting this possibility since you seem to be indicating that your responses are out of the ordinary or control...

    [This Message was Edited on 06/21/2006]
  4. victoria

    victoria New Member

    PLUS I just noticed on your profile that you live in Conn....

    have you ever tried a protocol for Lyme etc?

    Victoria

  5. diva42597

    diva42597 New Member

    Wendy,

    I go through the same episodes. To my knowledge I don't have Lyme, although, I have never been tested. For me it is stress that brings it on. I've gotten a little better in recent months because I've been trying to change my negative "self-talk." I got a book on fibro and it says that fibro sufferers tend to have an inner negativity because we're so used to being told everythings in our heads and that there's no reason we can't be normal or that we look fine...etc. You know what I'm talking about. I have been trying to change that and I have found it makes a huge difference. The other thing I noticed triggers my episodes is stress. So I started to keep a journal of when it happens and I tried to start being proactive. For example, I lose things..my keys, purse, shoes, etc. Part of the fibro fog and it drives me nuts and I always have an angry response. I started making an effort to always put things in the same place so they don't get lost. It is a constant effort.

    As for your hubby, you have limitations. It's difficult for those that don't suffer from this disease to understand it. My fiance still doesn't understand it. I do all the errands, running around, cleaning, and cooking, etc. I learned that I have to either accept that or leave. He's not going to change. Ironically, that has helped me deal and feel less angry at him for not understanding. It's very difficult for someone that has never dealt with fibro to understand it. Making the choice to accept it gives me the power, so I don't end up blowing up at something very small because I feel taken advantage of. I hope this helps. I definitely understand where you're coming from and it acually helps to know I'm not the only one with this problem. And...I agree it does feel like you're not in control...it's a chemical thing and I can hardly remember after the fact why I even got angry. Hope this helps

    Kristen
  6. secondstar

    secondstar New Member

    My wife is one of the sweetest, most selfless, and understanding people I have ever known, but since her symptoms have gotten worse, so has her mood. She doesn't even realize what she's doing or saying, and she almost never remembers it later, but there is a whole new and horrible side to her that was never there before. During an outburst she will say things to me that she would never say when she's "herself." I don't think it's all caused by stress (although I would not rule that out as a possibility), but it's still very difficult to ignore it and write it all off as just "part of her illness."
    Don't be so sure that bipolar meds are your anwser. My wife has tried some, but it hasn't improved her mood or the outbursts. It may help to talk to someone, but I think your husband may simply need to learn to be a little more patient and understanding. I'm trying to improve on those things myself.
  7. fairydust39

    fairydust39 New Member

    Hi Wendy,
    Can you get some help at home? Someone to clean for you and pickup the groceries?
    That would help with the overload of work.

    Also I would try to remember what you last ate,before these episodes. I have had that happen and when I started to write down everything I ate before hand,I found that

    certain foods was triggering the rage. This may sound crazy but if you are allergic to something,it will definitely cause these reactions. You should start by writing down everything you eat and after a while, you may find what it is.Do some detective work and also watch what chemicals

    that you use at that particular time. You may not know of any allergies that you have had in the past,but that doesn't mean that you aren't developing allergies.I used perfume ALL my life and it never bothered me and all of a sudden,I had severe allergies to it.


    The reason I suggested writing it down was because you didn't remember details after the rage subsided( That also alerted me and made me think it's allergies). If you find that it is allergies,you should be tested by an Allergist and find out what all you are allergic to(if you haven't

    already been tested). Research has proven that out- burst like that is sometimes triggered by (Chemicals,food,new carpet,and furniture,ETC)

    I most certainly would not rule this out. Do you know how dangerous this could be?
    Hugs Shirley
    [This Message was Edited on 06/21/2006]
    [This Message was Edited on 06/21/2006]
  8. Jeanne-in-Canada

    Jeanne-in-Canada New Member


    This dd puts a terrible stress on our whole hormonal and neurotransmitter systems. That's why so many are on ad's and thyroid meds. But you are probably right about the adrenals, I think you hit the nail on the head.

    The first thing you can do, today if you can hit a store, is get yourself some St. John's Wort and start w/ one pill a night. St. J's is everywhere they sell supplements too. It is great for stress, anxiety, and female issues and lessons my pms and cramps too. You could also get yourself some pantothenic acid, its the main adrenal fuel, and also builds a neurotransmitter, acetylcholine. I take 500 mgs and its invaluable to keep the edge off. When I'm popping off and losing it over everything and really clumsy it totally helps w/ that and soothes muscle aches in my limbs too. acetylcholine is essential not only for mood, adrenals, but muscle to nerve conduction too.

    You could put yourself on a good solid adrenal glandular too. Dr. Wilson's "Adrenal Rebuilder" is doctor developed and available online. Its a good one to start w/ because it contains 5 glands, adrenal, thyroid, pituitary, hypothalamus and gonad.

    I'm positive this will help. I don't think you are bipolar at all, though many w/ this disease get misdiagnosed this way. They thought I was bipolar in my early days w/ this, but it turned out to be SAD, and completely cleared w/ light therapy and glandulars. Much better than ad's, they don't have to be the first thing you try. And you definitely don't want to go down the road of mood stabilizers for BP, its pretty crappy and some of them suppress your immune system.


    jeanne
  9. CockatooMom

    CockatooMom New Member

    Girl...you are being expected to do WAY WAY WAY too much!!!

    That workload and schedule is just insane!

    I AM bipolar 2, was diagnosed many years ago. However, I have noticed that more things bother me now. So, your problem may not be that.

    I feel more irritable, less tolerant, more forgetful, and just stark raving mad sometimes! I never did before.

    I have resorted to taking more xanax than I ever used to just to calm the anxiety I feel on a daily basis.

    And, I'm not even experiencing much stress right now since I'm out of school for the summer. (I'm a full-time student)

    My husband is getting used to me complaining again about my pain. I had usually kept it to myself. But, I'm tired of being silent.

    He allowed me to hire a person to clean the house, which is one BIG relief! (I have a great hubby)

    I agree with some of the other replies you have gotten: couples counseling, educate him on your diseases, get checked for Lyme, and so forth.

    This is another thought: ask for his help and if you don't get it, don't do the task at hand. When he asks why, be honest and tell him it's too much for you.

    I have learned the hard way, through denial. I've kept on trying to live my life as if I were "healthy"...it doesn't work.

    I am taking care of myself now, and I hope you are able to do the same. I'm still trying to learn to sit down and relax.

    So, you aren't alone...I think many of us have anger fits and outbursts...I know I DO!!

    Take care and be gentle with yourself!


  10. WendyC

    WendyC New Member

    I will follow up on everything you said. I will keep a journal. I will communicate with my husband more and set boundaries. I already told him that this summer was my summer to get better. As far as help, he just started a new business and isn't making any money yet, so I pay all the bills and there is no money left (I am a teacher). I will follow up on the adrenal suggestions and talk to my doctor about it. I do think that I have way too many stressors at a time when I am sick. I need to take care of myself first. Its comforting to know that I am not alone and not crazy. I don't think that I am bipolar and my doctor never diagnosed I or II. Just wants to medicate. I am sick of medication. Last year he put me on two different anti-depressants and they made me worse. I stopped taking them. Boy does this disease suck. I used to do so much, I could take stress, take on responsibilities. Help others. I also don't have support. My family lives in N.H. and since I got sick, I don't have friends anymore. As far as Lyme, I was tested four times with negative results. But my FFC doctor said that my immune function was at 0 with no antibodies (Ig somethings) for anything which is not normal. I am going to address the adrenals, anti-viral and detox therepy ASAP. Also thanks for the suggestion of allergies. I will journal and take a look at this. It is strange that it always happens at the end of the week?

    XX
    Wendyc
  11. painandagony

    painandagony New Member

    I get angry fast too....i hate it. I just snap at everything. I've tried so many AD's and none of them work. I've done lots with diet/supplements in the past, but not a lot lately. I need to get back to that and see if it helps. It's not like me either, to be so snappy.

    Good luck, it sounds like you got some good advice and comfort from your responses.
  12. findmind

    findmind New Member

    This is a very interesting post, and replies....I think...

    I had to stop reading because of the terribly long paragraphs!! How come so many of you did that????

    Pleeeeeeeease keep them shorter for me, me, me!

    Five or six lines is good, good, good; 12-15 is not, not, not.

    Thanks!
    findmind
  13. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    Good grief, woman, I'd blow up too! You're doing far too much and YOU're not even giving yourself any any credit for it let alone that man you married. HE can't take much more?!?!?!

    It could be hormonal in part or a glitch in neurons but you need a break! Bipolar meds? I can't tell you how angry this makes ME.

    Harrrruuuumph. Maybe I'm not the best one to speak to this.
    Why do they want to medicate us rather than let us deal with the problems in our lives??

    Will dear hubby go to counselling? No? Then you go. Soon. That may be the only time you get to take for yourself.

    BIG hugs,
    Marta

    PS What HAVE you done for yourself lately?
    [This Message was Edited on 06/21/2006]
  14. baanders

    baanders New Member

    I was trained as a Physician Assistant. If you are on an antidepressant and have had more anger/outbursts, you most likely do have bipolar disorder. This is because most antidepressants on most people that do not have bipolar have a calming effect...at all times. Sometimes your mood may cycle (go up and down throughout the day or every few days. There may be no family history. That doesn't mean you don't have it. Conseling alone will not help what a chemical is doing to your brain. #1. Please see a good psychiatrist. #2. Please wean yourself off the antidepressant and let your rheumatologist know about this #3. You can get started on a mood stabilizer without the antidepressant or forget both together. There are many medicines for fibro and none are worth hurting your relationships over.

    Baanders
  15. victoria

    victoria New Member

    it is well known that a significant number of long-term lyme cases do not show positive on tests until after using antibiotics.

    That is why so many LLMDs do RX a course of abx to see if you herx, altho that is sort of a crap shoot to only do one month even to see what happens--

    as there are different strains and one will not herx if the wrong abx is used.

    Please do not dismiss lyme tho just because of the negatives - and even without being infected with lyme, other tick-borne infections and other stealth pathogens may also cause many of your symptoms.

    It is an exhausting search, I know, to look for what works and what works.

    I hope you can at least get your homefront in order so that you can take of yourself - you are in my thoughts.

    all the best,
    Victoria



  16. mme_curie68

    mme_curie68 New Member

    I am bipolar type 2 and when I destabilize that's part of what happens to me.

    It is not true that bipolar people are not treated with SSRIs. They need to be treated CAREFULLY with SSRIs and generally are not treated with SSRI's as monotherapy alone.

    SSRI monotherapy in bipolar patients tends to cause mania. Some of the symptoms of mania are extreme anger and agitation.

    Generally the SSRI is paired with mood stabilizer. Currently I am on Cymbalta (SSRI) and Seroquel (mood stabilizer).

    However, it also sounds like you have other issues in addition to your mental health.

    Hugs,
    Madame Curie


    [This Message was Edited on 06/21/2006]
  17. pirtpain

    pirtpain New Member

    I know exactly what you are talking about. Believe me everyone with this DD gets this way at times. You are taking on too much, and your husband needs to get a grip and treat you better. Easier said than done. There are a

    couple of books out there that explains to family the issues that we all go through. I wish I could remember the
    title but they aren't real boring like some of them can be. Your family needs to understand your illness. What I would

    suggest is making a list of all of the chores that are the most difficult for you, such as vaccuming or laundry etc. Ask him to start pitching in. Make a deal with him. Look... you are a person with a lifelong illness. You can't keep

    doing everything. Some mates don't help out and there are times when I wish I could throw my arms up and yell to the world. Do your best to compromise with him it may help. GOOD LUCK!!
  18. pirtpain

    pirtpain New Member

    I know exactly what you are talking about. Believe me everyone with this DD gets this way at times. You are taking on too much, and your husband needs to get a grip and treat you better. Easier said than done. There are a

    couple of books out there that explains to family the issues that we all go through. I wish I could remember the
    title but they aren't real boring like some of them can be. Your family needs to understand your illness. What I would

    suggest is making a list of all of the chores that are the most difficult for you, such as vaccuming or laundry etc. Ask him to start pitching in. Make a deal with him. Look... you are a person with a lifelong illness. You can't keep

    doing everything. Some mates don't help out and there are times when I wish I could throw my arms up and yell to the world. Do your best to compromise with him it may help. GOOD LUCK!!
  19. pirtpain

    pirtpain New Member

    The truth of the matter is that you are on overload. This happens to all of us, because we can no longer do it all. Maybe your husband needs to understand you illness better. There are some real good books out there that explain it in

    simple terms, what it is all about. Perhaps writing down all of the chores that you have difficulty with,like vacuuming or laundry etc. Let him know that this illness is

    for a lifetime and that you can no longer can do everything. This is only the beginning. I hope for your sake that he compromises with you and helps out more. GOOD LUCK!

    PIRT
  20. krayon

    krayon New Member

    I'm not trying to be nosey or anything ,but what meds. do you take?

    The reason I ask is because I was put on neurotin afew monthes ago. I did ok on it for while but as time went on my anger and rage just kept building up to a point it scared me because of some of the thoughts I would have and actually think thru in my head...

    So like I said it scared me and I thought that maybe it was because of the new med. and looked neurotin up on web and there it was called "neurotin anger"... most of the time it will effect children in this manner.

    So to make this short... I stopped taken it and that intense rage I had is gone. I still get mad and angry but that scarey rage is gone...

    But please nobody be offended by this because neurotin has done wonders for people and it did help me with what I had going on... but after I read the article the other was clear.



    ~*hugs*~

    Krayon
    [This Message was Edited on 06/21/2006]