What did you think was wrong with you before you knew ?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Nov 12, 2005.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I have sat here wondering what it was I thought I had before I know that fibromyaligia? I didn't know that there were tihngs like Chronic Meyofacial pain syndrome, lupus. Fibro. Or any of the rest of them. I just thougt I was the only one who had baad legsaches and had headacahes that felt like someone had put my head in an apple press and pushed start and my head was being squished.

    I staarted out young with pain in my life . I was 3or 4 when I started to have bad legaches and the doctor chave me take asprin and citiman C to help it. I don't think it really helped me much. AS I child I thought that all little girls had leg aches as my best friend Terri had childhood rumitisimm{sp} she could now play in cold water so to have water fights with her we had to use warm water on her and it sill made her legs ache. She woke up in thrid grade adn her knees were bent and she could not get them to starighten up and work right so she spent months at the hospital to find out what was really wrong with her.

    My I had bad leg that ache ed adn I coudl fall over my own shadow and did all the time . I did dumb things like putting a child rocking chair on the four foot high raliing that was made of bricks on the porch and it was about 6 feet down. And like a smart teenager being daired to dit inthe damrn chair I dsat in it and feel back wards adn broke my humouous bone and i didn't find it humorous at all. My right arm was taped to my body for 6 weeks adn I had to have a sling on it and it hurt like heck but back in the OLD days "KIds didn't feel pain " On yes thay did and it really cause me alot of PAIN.

    That was one of the many stupid things I did as s child and early teenager. And if I thought things coudl get no worse I started that femmale thing. And I really understood what pain was. Since I had cysts in my overies more times that not thos time of the moth was painfull to me and I wished that it would go away and leave me alone.

    I have never felt so alone as I did when I broke my arm. I was in pain all the time and asprin did nothing to help get rid of it. I hated it so much. By the time all this was going on I was begiging to wonder why was I really here for? I hurt more days in the month than not. And I dispised it so much and I wanted it go go away but it didn't.

    And as I got older I leraned thta i hasd passed this painfull periods to my daughters. They have not ever thanked me for that gift.LOL

    I have wondered what was really wrong with me, mostly nothing as I had blood tests done to find out and I was healthly so said the blood tests and i knew taht there was something wrong that I didn't know about it yet and it was going to affect me forever.

    As I remember the day I learned thati had fbro I sat and cryed in the CP's office , he had explained to me all of the things that would cause pain all of the time and I was not realy for it not or them and i wans so sad about it.

    I still tried to not think about it and went about the duties I had to work at the craft store I worked at. Each day was worse and the pain got to be so bad that I would hi d in the back room andjust bawal as the pin I was in was sobad. I din't what to take my pain pills as i was scared that my obecess all the times I didn't understnad then,not understand why I had it.

    I just know that I was getting sick of thisnasty pain i was always in and when i had to tell me boss that i was in pain i was in. Why me? I wondered. What had I done to cause this horriable pain I was is and it was so much pain that i had. I worked full time with this pain threw thik and thin and in pain all the time and I would look at the widdom teeth patients that we have jut pulled out 4 wisdon teethout and the pain tht they would be in that was how i felt all the time and I wanted it to with all the time.

    I had to quit my job as mom had been sick andshe needed me to gbe the person who had all her medical records and knew what meds she had. At that time she had many blood clots adn was almost at deaths door but she recovered but my job demanded that I come back to work. I coudn't as I had to get mom home from the nursing home and so set up the hoome health care that we had.


    Mow it has been three years since that nasty day thta i was told what i had and I felt like my left had ended . I can't walk thought the mall withmy daughters and it embarasses them for me to ride in the cart. But I need it when going to the store for long periods of time.

    I am not the mother , wife or lover that i was feofre all this tarted adn it makesme so sad about it,I don't like to take paian pills and muscle relaxants wither. I am sick of taking meds and yet no one belives me .

    So can some one tell me this? Ddid you fibro start with you wrere young? I also had a cough that sounded like i was going to hack up a lung and it made my ribs hurt so mucn that i did cry and i once again was told that i had chostochronditis more fun for me NOT.

    So do you wake up in the night with pain that is so bad that you want to gry, My legs have been aaching so badly that I dont was so wall as it hurts me so very much all the time, I try to go be back to sleep. Why can't I be who I was and not live each day in pain? And I wrong to feel that way> I know that God has has said that we will be nromal. now. I am so disapoianted wwith me. I din't plan to have this kind of pain when i was 49 years old . I want to be nromal and to do all the things that I should be able to do. I don't know what to do . I want to be like everyone else and to behave like I should. I am sick of lliving with it. How do I changed it when it is here.

    So does anyone else have these feelings that make you flell so sxhusted. Do you all feel like your missing out in so mucj of your life? I do. I kist wamt t be romalagain, I don't want to miss out on the things that .

    I want to know how you feel about having fibro? I am missing out on so much of my live. I just wanted to be nromal and liked and to be and have fun with my grand children and the way I am. Are you the person that you wanted to be at this time in your life? I had so many plans for my and my family andvmy husband. I had wanted to travel after we retired , we were gooing to larn all about each other and do those things togethhher adn now this is not possiable for us to do.

    ARe you are Albe to do al the things you had planed to do togetheRr.

    I want so much from this life ane I want to be able to with my husband.

    So my friends are you doing all thhoses things that you waanted to share with you husband and family? ARe you able to do the things that were in y our heart to do with your family? Or is this just me wishing that my life was differnt. I wil haev to learn to accept the things I can do instad of worring about al i can't do but is is a hard not to be sad about the loss of this I cant do any LOnge.

    Am I alone in this> am I being a boob? i want a full and loveing live and it is going to tatke mufch pre things that I did. I want to be so happy and to do all the things I can do. I pray that you wil be allbe al that you ahve planed to doin your liife,. AS i pray that i do will be able to all that you enjoy and want to do.

    I want to much from thi life and this fibro have put some things that i still want to do always andand ever more.

    I hope that your dreams will come true dispite your disablilties that you may have.
    I have learned that i need to have faithin my slef that i will be albelt o to the things i want to do and I will be aaalbe to make my husband and family happy it has taken me some time to understand all that I can do instead of what i can't do/ Thanks you for listening to me , may your life be all that you can make it our to be and put being hapy with youreslf first , I love you so much.

    thank you for all that you do fffor me. I hope that you wil be able to do all the thinkgs you have planed for youfamilly husabnd and do them.

    LOve you always, Rosemarie


    Ps~~~~~ If this last part does not make much scense I am tired and sleepy to I may have forgot to put the thing I meant to be. Love you ME.
  2. Gernmeinschatz

    Gernmeinschatz New Member

    Good reply, Wamps. You sort of gave me a lightbulb moment there.

    Before I had CFS I thought it was a brain tumor because of all the headaches and dizziness. Then I had an MRI and they indicated they "didn't find anything" lol.

    I spent a long time wishing I did have a tumor, then at least they'd know what was wrong with me. Oh well.
  3. lease79

    lease79 New Member

    I was only about 11 when I started noticing that something wasn't 'right' with me. By the time I was in my mid teens I honestly believed that I had some strange disease that noone had ever had before & that it was going to kill me before the figured out what was wrong with me.
    Noone could feel that bad, & still have all their tests come back normal could they??
    Being diagnosed with CFS & then later FMS, were sadly SOOOOO relieving. There actually WAS something wrong with me that other people had too.
  4. meowchowchow

    meowchowchow New Member

    I thought for years I had cancer, a brain tumor or MS...it had to be SOMETHING to be making me so sick yet no one could find anything!

    Meow
  5. CanBrit

    CanBrit Member

    When I had my first severe flare last year, my Dr told me later that he thought I had bone cancer. (My husband did too) I didn't know that he was testing me for that.

    He was basically a FMS non-believer, but since treating me in the past year, I think he's finally accepted it. I think he kept waiting for something else to show up in the tests. Well, a thyroid problem showed up but didn't change my symptoms once treated.

    At least he investigates new medicines for me.

    Regards,

    Eileen
  6. Empower

    Empower New Member

    I was convinced I had MS until I had 2 MRI's done

    Symptoms were very similar
  7. ClasiAnFun1

    ClasiAnFun1 New Member

    Many people would tell me it's all in your head....I suffered for many years with pain, fatigue, depression that I couldn't do normal activities like "everyone else" I got so tired of "pull yourself up & get going" or was I "needing attention"? When I was married my husband constantly compared me to other wifes & moms who were doing this & that like a real woman should....I really began to believe it was all in my head. The lack of knowledge both on my part & others did make me truly question my own mental health.
    I now know better, but feel sadness for all those awful years of suffering mentally, on top of my physical problems I was having. I really have healed quite a bit, & continue to do so each & every day. Pray does get me through the very tough times.
    There are still some who do not believe in fibro & CFS & CPS, But I can't worry about what they think as I have learned to take care of me first.
    hugs 2 all
    d
  8. rbecca47

    rbecca47 New Member

    i was just diagnozed with fibro. But remembering back, when i was a small child,i was always in pain, or i would fall asleep on the picnic table, while the other kids played. i always seemed to think i was in pain due to the severe child abuse that my mother bestowed on my self and sister.(we were adopted). i had asthma, and had anemia. but that never answered the pain i suffered when running, or riding a bike. As i look back, the abuse was a big part of it.
    As years went by i had surgeries on back, and other medical problems. But my doctor today says that all test have come back normal, tested for MS> Then she told me i have fibromyalgia, I turly did not know what that was, for years i felt that some doc's were right that it was in my head. Until this last year when the pain was so bad that i could hardly walk, and fell on numerous occasions. she ran more test, then the name came to what i have. This DD has all but made my life stop, the life i did have. i have never been in so much pain, and so exhausted. Days can't even seem to get out of bed. now i am rambling. but yes until i got the dz,i thought i was going crazy.

    hugs to all
    becca
  9. beth0818

    beth0818 New Member

    i remember when this illness hit me at around 11 years old. i though everyone felt the way i did and wondered how people coud do so much and i couldn't.
  10. mom-mom

    mom-mom New Member

    I had severe abdominal pain and had many many tests and at the end of this they said I had pancreatic cancer. Tests later on showed I didn't. Just alot of digestive and colon pain, which I still continue to deal with. I have had every test available and have Fibromyalgia which has put me in a situation of much much pain. I suffer from chronic constipation and have a weight problem.
    This is the first time I have ever posted on the boards. I really enjoy the boards it has been very informitive for me.

    Thanks Mom-mom
    [This Message was Edited on 11/13/2005]
  11. karatelady52

    karatelady52 New Member

    I remember being in the hospital because of heart flutters -- of course nothing was wrong said the docs

    In my 20's --- 10 or so miscarriages -- nothing wrong said docs

    In my 30's --- more heart issues -- wore holter monitor -- had echogram --- docs said nothing wrong

    In 30's had lots of sinus issues --- had sinus surgery -- still had sinus issues & allergies afterwards

    In late 30's -- neck/shoulder pain and stiffness unbearable --- go to physical therapy and massage therapy --- none of it helps

    In mid-40's --- started menopause --- so tired --- pain got worse and worse --- doctor said FM

    In early 50's --- was told it was CFS/FM

    FINALLY, go to the FFC --- diagnosed with lyme, Epstein-Barr, CMV and Claumydia-Pneumonia YEAH!!!

    Now I can work on getting well!!!

    Sandy
  12. tandy

    tandy New Member

    after reading all thru this post by Rosemarie......


    I thought to myself.,....
    My headstone will say "see I told ya I did'nt feel good"


    I then go and read most of the replys here and someone (Hangin in there??) said the same thing I was thinking!!
    weird!!

    anyhoo~
    Your post hit so close to how I feel and what I wanted to say but could'nt. Yes,..I did have alot of dreams.(shattered)
    and No,..I'm not where I wanted to be at this time in my life.
    But I'm here,...and making the best possible memories I can for my children~
    Does'nt feel like enough,..but I guess it has to be.

    I'm so sorry for all that we endure~
    Hugs
    Tandy
  13. omafor4

    omafor4 New Member

    well i'm new to this. earlyer this year i quite my job (working on a computer all day) my hands and shoulders would hurt so much that at the end of the day I just wanted to sit down and cry. I thought it was just my job. My husband has a janitor business and I started to help him. For the first couple of month I thought a mac truck had run over my body. After a couple of months I went to the doctor (too long to still be in pain from being out of shape) She at first said that it was arthritis and sent me to classes. no one else in the room semed to have the same thing going on that I did. I went back and demanded more test. I was then sent to a rumiatolost (sp)
    and then was told that its fibromyalgia. Get more sleep was the answer, ha ha, that seemes to be of no help. My whole life is upside down and feeling really alone.
  14. ellie5320

    ellie5320 New Member

    my dear dad had RA I thought it was normal for every one to have pain seemed to have it for as long as I can remember then when I found out it wasn't i thought I had RA I am just happy I have an answer
    Linda