What do caregivers need?

Discussion in 'Caregivers' started by annee, Jan 29, 2002.

  1. annee

    annee New Member

    Just a thought.
    Can you suggest a few things that caregivers need to keep on caring and giving?
    For me, I need
    1. Validation that times are tough for
    me too.
    2. Time out - no strings.

    Thats it for me right now.
    Please add to this list.

  2. Pixie

    Pixie New Member

    annee, This is a good suggestion, the one thing that comes to my mind is for our government to help with funding for us as caregivers, so that we can spend our time giving care for those that would be in nursing homes, before my husband died, I quit my job to care for him, they pay a lousy 100.00 a month, he was on ssi, what a struggle. and #2 we do get sick ourselves, in my case I have to keep going. no one was able to make a cup of soup for me, take me to doctor, etc.

  3. mom

    mom New Member

    I think what you caregivers need is

    1) Our thanks and respect.
    2) Less caring for us.
    3) Less hassles caused by us.

    You know that you have our love. But we do not always show respect for you and your struggles to make our lives better. And the thanks is often way down on the list of things to do and say when we are not comfortable.
    You need us to do what we are capable of doing. Not to wait for you to do it for us just because it might be uncomfortable physically.
    You need our co-operation in all things.
    You need us to listen to you. I don't mean sit and look at you with our eyes and have the ears tuned to ourselves.
    You need us to hear that there is a flower show on Sat. that you would really enjoy. You need the answer "Hey that is a great idea. Can I go and if I can't walk around I can sit in the car with a book while you enjoy yourself."
    You need us to say. "You look kind of tired so why don't you take a break and go get your hair done today. I have made the appointment for 2pm so you can do some shopping and have lunch out for a change."
    You need us to when you are down or frustrated to give you a hug and a kiss for just being you and caring about and for us.
    These are all things that can be done so easily I guess it is time for us careees to give back a lot of caring for you guys.
    take care of yourselves you are loved.
    mom lynda
  4. Pixie

    Pixie New Member

    Mom, a big thanks for your post all you mentioned is correct, but as a caregiver, I can only think as one, I think sometimes these loved ones we care for are soooooo sick with pain, stressed out daily, that is all they are capable of, I know for a fact that I am loved and appreciated for my efforts, and I do get the thank yous, but like you said, we need it every day, it helpes when we spread ourselves thin and think its not enough, for us to get the everyday thank yous, it means as much to us as does to the sick to get the daily hugs and attention we give them. soooooo thank yous, and hugs should be our daily THINGS TO DO, So thank you and hugs to you Mom
  5. annee

    annee New Member

    Hey Lynda.............

    You guys make us (carers) who we are.
    You give us (carers) strength.
    You guys keep us (carers) going.
    Everything you said Lynda I return it straight back to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    We could not do it without you.
    We admire your strengths to battle what you guys go through!!!!
    Sometimes it might be tough.............and that is when the tough get going.

    So "Carers and Careers", let us move forward in our lives, slowly, slowly and together!!!!
    Hugs all!!
  6. annee

    annee New Member

    Hope everyone is coping and doing okay:)
  7. tom-r

    tom-r New Member

    We do what we do out of necesity, but we do it good because we have love and compasion for our loved ones. So when it comes down to what we need it is a compliated issue.

    So here goes my idea as to what we need.
    A- To know that what we do is appreciated.

    B- Not taken for granted(we have had our lives turned upside down with this illness also don't say it isn't fair for you to go do something and not me).

    C- Patience when it comes to requesting things to be done, running the house and the kids tend to cause a distracting atmosphere so sometimes things do get forgotten.

    D- Consideration of our enjoyment when planing vacations, when we have to do the intertainment of two people it tends to become a chore that we really don't want to assume. Kids have to be kept busy and when that falls on the shoulders of the healthy partner it isn't fun anymore.

    I think I will stop for now, there are other things that could be written down but I don't have the brain power to think of them right now, I worked nights last nigt and I havent been to bed yet so my brain is kind of numb, Tom