What Do You Continue Living For?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by clsung, Jul 3, 2008.

  1. clsung

    clsung New Member

    Many sufferers on this site live with so much debilitating pain and fatigue that I wonder what helps you remain positive about life and continue to live?

    For me, I feel like a living zombie that is half dead. This disease has drained all the life out of me and it takes all the energy I have to sit here and type this message.

    What keeps me going is my family. I know how much pain it would cause them if something were to happen to me. On my very bad days, the thought of my family's pain is the only thing that pulls me back from the brink.
  2. Elisa

    Elisa Member

    Prayer that God will help and

    I guess hope that it will get better...

    And this board and the friends here!

    I am suffering and alone and so so sad - and I don't really know how to keep going anymore. But mine is not the norm - I think most have family and support and maybe a little less complex med situation - I have had a fever a year and have been trounced by tachycardia daily for 2 mos. I am literally losing my mind. I think if I had some help medicaly - even just for the pain or anxiety that would help a lot - but noooooooooo. So I pray...and hope.

    I think family gives you a reason to keep going - but in my case - I am mostly a burden to my family - so I can feel the resentment and that is sad for all...

    God Bless,


    I am having one of my scariest days ever - so if I sound bad/sad please forgive me. I feel very physically bad and feel like I won't make it - many of you know this feeling and it is very real. Plus I had to call paramedics (for breathing) and they were so mean - it was really traumatic. I can't repeat some of the things they said to me.
    [This Message was Edited on 07/03/2008]
  3. texangal81

    texangal81 New Member

    I see his face and want to live to be 100. I have helped raise him along with my daughter and folks. My mom and dad keep my going, they are in their mid'70s and I don't want to saddle them seeing me in pain all of the time and I certainly don't want them to have to put me in the ground, that would kill them.

    My kids, my 14 year old son and my 22 year old daughter. I want to see them both married. I want to have more grandchildren too, although I think the second time around my daughter should get married first *L*.

    This will sound odd, but my ex-fiance keeps me going. Although he got married in November, we remain the best of friends. Although he loves his new wife very much, we have a long history together, one that doesn't threaten her. It would kill him if I left first.

    I've had my moments when I'm exhausted and overwhelmed with the turn my life has taken in the last 3 years - I'm alone, broke, and sick - and think "one bottle of Ultram and I'll never have to deal with a collection call again". But then I think of Sky, and Patrick, and Sarah and my folks and Tom and I realize even though I can't do as much as I did, please still need me. So I manage to go on.

    Many times I decide just to turn it all over to God. It might sound silly but I imagine a huge gold sheet and I dump ALL my crap in there and wrap it up and hand it over. Visualization works for some people and there are times it works for me.
  4. texangal81

    texangal81 New Member

    that your family feels that way. Although I hurt and deal with crushing fatigue, I am still managing to work. Last week when I was alone and no one was home, I suddenly had a very scary thought. Who will take care of me when my folks are gone? Even though they have their own health issues, we take care of each other.

    I know my kids will but I don't want to be a burden on them. A man? I can't start dating now, what man will want a wife who says up front "I can't cook, clean, do laundry, travel, or have wild and crazy sex"! Not many.

    And when I hear about the medical community treating us so badly, I want to hit someone. I am sorry you are hurting, I truly wish I could send you something to help.

  5. donnadb

    donnadb New Member

    For me, its definitely my SON and the rest of my family! He is starting college in the fall and he still doesn't really understand this disease but I cant think of the pain that it would cause him if I were to do something to permanently end MY pain.... It's definitely family
  6. Elisa

    Elisa Member


    It is people like you that help people like me hang on to life. Just knowing that you exist and are sweet and kind and loving - it helps so so much.

    No one should ever underestimate the power of words...

    Erin thannk you so much for your kindness. I am in trouble today and God sent you!

  7. willruthie1965

    willruthie1965 New Member

    I think everyone gets frustrated like that and even more so when you are in pain. Do you get any relief at all from the pain? I would find a doctor who will help you live each day without so much pain. We are here for you. RUthie
  8. clsung

    clsung New Member

    It is really wonderful to have a site with so many supportive people who understand that the physical/mental symptoms of extreme pain and fatigue are not "all in my head". Sometimes, I even doubt my own sanity because the majority of the medical community either do not believe that FM/CFS are real diseases or do not have the resources to adequately treat us.

    Thank you all for keeping me sane and for providing a sanctuary for me to turn to when I am feeling my weakest.

    I consider everyone here part of my extended family and the love and support here is truly a Godsend.
  9. AndrewB

    AndrewB New Member

    ..I'm still a young man that believes in the power of nutrition.... YOU CAN GET BETTER WITH IT! Sports used to be my passion, I enjoy watching it now.

    I also live to show people that I can get over this. Don't quit!

    [This Message was Edited on 07/03/2008]

    JEANSKI New Member

    I saw the other side of things and let me tell you, anyway you can connect with another human being makes another day of life worth living.

    Just seeing the sky, breathing the air. Let me tell you from experiance when these things are being taken away or threatened you appreicate what little you have.

    As long as I have breath in me I will find even the simpliest ways to keep on going and enjoying life.

    Don't isolate yourself or feel too much pity. Yes our situation is really bad but ponder what others go through around the world and I will take this burden anyday!
  11. cjcookie

    cjcookie New Member

    the only thing keeping me here was my family and friends. I have found a wonderful church and with that tons more real friends. I literally get energy from the people around me there and I have improved dramatically. I went from sleeping or lying in bed all the time to now being able to take walks and volunteer at church. Lyrica has also been a Godsend.

    I now have people calling me for advice on their pain. Who would have ever thought?

    I'm praying for a miracle for you Elisabeth! (That was my Grandma's name - different spelling). Hang in there. There is a plan for us. I couldn't believe that a year ago but I know it now!
    [This Message was Edited on 07/03/2008]
  12. erica741

    erica741 New Member

    I am so sorry to hear you are in so much pain physically and emotionally. I am glad that you are able to some of the good thing in your life.

    Do you think is possible that your pain, anxiety and other problems are clouding your perception of your family? I mean perhaps they don't really see you as a burden, but rather you are just extra sensitive or mispercieve situations and conversations because you so ill?

    I would not be so presumptious to suggest that if I didn't that same problem myself. Everytime I have a flare or herx from a new medication, I get really down and end up crying and even fighting with my parents because I perceive they are neglecting me, resent me, or are mistreating me. Then when I feel better, I realize it was almost like I created situation in mind that simply wasn't there.

    Again, I don't know your situation, but just wanted put that possibilty out there for you to consider.

    Your lack of medical care really concerns me. Is the problem that you don't have health insurance or that you can't find a good doctor or is something else?

    I'm also sorry about what you had to go through today, especially with being mistreated by the paramedics. When you are feeling better, consider writing a letter to your local fire dept or whoever sent out the paramedics describing how you were treated and the things they said to you. If they send you a bill for coming out, then definitely send them a letter refusing to pay and describe how your were mistreated.

    I hope you feel better soon! Hopefully tomorrow will be a much better day.

    [This Message was Edited on 07/03/2008]
  13. robin1667

    robin1667 New Member

    We all know what you are feeling.I pray you'll be feeling better very soon.Don't give up.
    I live for my family as well.I have 4 grandchildren,that wear me out,but I live for thier smiles,laughs,kisses and hugs.
    And my 2 daughters,my parents need me.My bf.
    And I live for the new family and friends I have found on this board.
    I want to see my precious grandbabies get married and have children.
    Even though I have terrible pain every day,I know someone loves me,even when I don't sometimes feel it.
    We are all in this together it's a special group and no one can take that away.
    You are loved! Love,Robin
  14. Elisa

    Elisa Member

    Hi Clsung,

    I think that YOU and your post and thoughts and all that have responded - have helped me a great deal and I hope in some small way that helps you...

    God Bless You Clsung,

  15. sunflowergirl

    sunflowergirl Active Member

    I have some good days but interspersed with some really bad ones. There's a reason I've been given this. I've learned a great deal from it and how to perservere. I live for my family and for serving God.

    During the hard times I think about all the people in history who have had to endure harder things than this. I think about the people who are starving right now in many parts of the world, but whose faith sustains them. I think about the people who went thru the revolutionary war and the civil war in this country. There is so much for us to think about other than what we are going thru. When we put it in the right perspective this is nothing.
  16. tandy

    tandy New Member

    I hate my painful journey at times.
    But things could be way worse,..and for that i'm grateful for what I've been givin.

    Having Fibro is'nt the end.

    I do know what ya mean tho.
    This disease has drained me of all energy and makes for long days~

  17. whoachief

    whoachief New Member

    are the ONLY things that keep me going. Many days it is VERY difficult - LIKE TODAY! We have been invited to 3 different parties today but we won't be attending any of them as I just don't have the energy & I'm in too much pain to do it today. They are also anxiously awaiting going to see fireworks tonight but unless my daughter drives us we won't be gong there either.
  18. ladybugmandy

    ladybugmandy Member

    i have been close to suicide many many times. the thing that makes it almost impossible for me to stand my life is the severe brain fog. i can no longer read or remember things or learn anything. for me, there is no quality of life w/out these things.

    what has kept me going is not wanting to devastate my mother (who is 73) and my sister (who is disabled and would have no one else once my mom passes).

    also, a big step forward in the hope department for me, is the potential for the antiviral therapy that i have started.

    don't give up yet. there is definite reason to hope now.

  19. Honora88

    Honora88 Member

    I have to focus on others to make it. It's hard to stay motivated just for myself.
  20. Manaleon

    Manaleon New Member

    I've always loved life and even this illness hasn't been able to take that away.

    I was lucky enough to meet my husband just one month before I became so sick and it was partially the sickness that made our relationship so strong. He went to work in a pharmacy so he can research new drugs to help me feel better. He also bought me a professional massage table for Christmas so he can massage me better(even though he hasn't taken classes he's learning). He's a very kind and caring man if you can't tell.

    Since we're not ready for children financially or health wise, we adopted two kitten from an animal shelter. When I'm sick and can't work, they keep me company at home and always find a way to make me laugh. Magellan, our boy, is a stunt/super cat. When we come home, he jumps straight from the floor into our arms and starts headbutting our chins to give us kisses and mark his scent on us. He also has a cat house we hold up in the air and he'll run and jump into it. He loves to run through his tunnel and his favorite toys are helium balloons which he walks around the house by the string. Diana, our princess, is an actress. She puts on the most convincing act that she's a starving kitty and if I didn't feed her myself, I would believe her. She has a really sweet side too. She may not be as enthusiatic in her cuddling as her brother, but she loves to lay on a lap and purr louder than any cat I know. We also have our older cat midnight who may not be cuddly, but we know she loves us and we love her dearly as well. We've taken in my father's German Shepard as well who thinks she's a big lap kitty. She comes to picnics with us and loves to go for walks. Being able to care for the pets like my husband cares for me is a good feeling.

    I also have a thirst for learning I've never been able to quench. Every time I think I know all the areas to study of plants I find more, such as bee keeping or ecology. The illness may have thrown a rench into my bachelors degree, but I can't stop me from learning.

    I've also managed to keep a few friends that can actually see the invible illnesses I have. They are more understanding that what I could hope for and almost make up for all the ignorant people that think we fake it.