what do you do whan

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by homesheba, Feb 26, 2007.

  1. homesheba

    homesheba New Member

    you have fibro, arthritis, crohns, r.h. factor, hep c and sogrens and more fun stuff ....
    and you live with your mom and hubby and they bash you cause you either dont do enough for them or its not good enough?
    and you actually hear them talking about you...:(
    and yesterday i actually heard mom talking to my sister about me bad
    which broke whats left of my heart....

    plus -
    i have 4 dogs that i am the only one who can care for them- (i get atleast some affection...)
    so i cant pick up and leave and plus i have no money to do so....
    any suggesstions?
    forget about talking to them,
    dh is a taker and mom is a martyr...sigh.
    it sure doesnt make me better health wise...
    i am miserable here.
  2. tngirl

    tngirl New Member

    We all know we need support and that stress affects us and makes our illness worse.

    I'm so sorry you are going through this.

    I think I would call a meeting and talk to them about it. I would try a group meeting so I wouldn't have to rehash everything multiple times. That in itself would upset me.

    I would try to go in prepared with info about the diseases (print out off the internet or if you have books with info or books from library.

    You might even want to print some info off this site or board.

    Maybe they are uneducated. Or just selfish because they want you to do all the work.

    I'd also let them know how much their behavior hurt me.

    Hopefully the group meeting will change their behaviors. If not at least you tried and venting to them might help you.

  3. pw7575

    pw7575 New Member

    I agree with tngirl. I know you don't want to talk to them but I think you need to. If you don't confront them about it they will never stop treating you this way. Even if you think talking won't help you have to at least try.

    I would talk to them together like she said with information printed out about your illnesses.

    Tell them that you have serious health problems and that you should be treated with respect as any other person would be with a serious health problem. Tell them that if it were one of them that you would never treat them with such disrespect.

    Ask them how they would feel if they were horribly ill and had people treat them that way.

    AND make SURE to tell them that you do over hear them talking about you and that it really hurts your feelings. Tell them that the way they treat you in general hurts your feelings and makes you angry as well.

    Tell them that this is not acceptable behavior and you refuse to be treated this way.

    If you get your point across and they realize how hurt and angry you are and that you are serious about this than maybe they will actually see how awful they have been.

    I think the only way to put a stop to it is to lay it all out there.

    I am sooo sorry that you are being treated so horribly. I am glad you have your dogs.

    Take Care,
    Pam
  4. Shalala

    Shalala New Member

    My family is very mean. We are now estranged. My Mom (now deceased) used to call me a lazy pig, etc. Yeah it hurts.

    I have my kitty and that works for me ;-) Good Luck