What do you do when you don't know what to do?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by CanBrit, Nov 25, 2008.

  1. CanBrit

    CanBrit Member

    Hi All:

    I've been off work since July this year. Along with FM, I was hit on the head with falling ice and snow in February which caused a concussion and damaged my shoulder. The concussion made me awfully emotional for a while. I still don't feel quite like myself.

    To make a long story short, my disability insurance plan has denied me once and my Dr. has just submitted another request. My government sick benefits runs out in a couple of weeks. If disability doesn't accept me this time, I have to go back to work or we'll end up bankrupt.

    Problem is...I can't type more than 15 minutes without spasms in my shoulders back and arms. I spend my days mostly standing, because sitting causes worse pain, even with heating pads. I can't think clearly anymore. I'm a computer programmer and how can I do my job if I can't even type or think anymore.

    When I was hit by the ice, I received a partial tear of a tendon in my shoulder, which then caused bursitis. The specialist they sent me to for that says that they can't do anything for it other than steroid shots because it's not a complete tear. There's also a lot of Osteo in my shoulder as well.

    I've been sent to a pain specialist who's requested an MRI of my spine. Until I get that, I can't get back to see him. The problem up here in Canada, is that you're waiting months to get one. My family Dr. requested an MRI of my neck in early August and I haven't even been given an appointment yet.

    I'm just hoping that disability doesn't turn me down again. I do know that I'll have to go back to work it they do, I just don't know how I'm going to do it.

    Why do insurance companies have to make it so difficult when you're already experiencing chronic pain? I'd take broken bones over this. Actually there's a lot of things, short of death, that I'd take over feeling this every day.

    Sorry for the rant....feeling sorry for myself.


  2. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    You have every right to vent, bless you.....it seems like having these diseases would be enough but it never is easy for us, is it?

    I remember when you got hurt and I'm so sorry that you're still having problems from it.

    I'm sorry I don't have much to say, but if I could, I'd send warm, gentle hugs your way.


  3. CanBrit

    CanBrit Member

    Thank you so much for your response. I'm just feeling so depressed these days. It hurts that you were the only one on this board that offered some kind words. Makes you feel like you've done something wrong.

    I come here for support but it feels like I'm not welcome. Thank you Nancy for being such a caring person.

  4. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    So sorry I haven't answered your post. I have no answers but sure can
    relate to how you feel. I hate this disease and the depression /anxiety most of all. I hate you are going through so much. Yes, you are so welcome , seems since the board has changed there are a lot of people gone.

    I don't have any advice or words of wisdom sure wish I could offer some help. I have been mainly housebound and bedridden for months now and don't understand why I am getting worse.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  5. jami117

    jami117 New Member

    I'm so sorry you're suffering so many unnecessary stressors in addition to your illness and injury! I wish I had an answer to make things better, but I don't. I do want to tell you that I believe telling our stories is the only way there will ever be change and better understanding of these illnesses that aren't the text-book situations that doctors like to treat.

    In my opinion, you're not ranting and feeling sorry for yourself, you're a warrior fighting against the ignorance exhibited by the majority of the medical community and the insurance industry. It's so difficult to be an advocate for these illnesses because we don't have any energy for it and often our formerly excellent brains turn to mush at a moments notice! But reading your story validates me and recharges my determination to get my story out as much as possible to try to effect change. Thanks, and my very best wishes are with you in your struggle.

  6. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    I remember when you were hurt. Did you get any settlement from the building's insurance - or the maintenance company or whomever it is? Did you pursue that at all?

    Feeling sorry for yourself? Well, heck we should all be feeling sorry for ourselves - we deal with an awful lot - I think more than the average person could ever deal with....and we keep on pluggin' along, because we have to. Because we're fighters.

    Don't get me started on ins. companies... it makes my blood boil.

    I know it's very hard, but TRY not to stress too much until you know what's going to happen. I know, it's easier said than done, but you have way too much going on. I can't look too far into the future and I don't. Something stops me, I have programmed my brain not to. I get through each day. Focus on today. Get through today. Actually, pamper yourself today!

  7. CanBrit

    CanBrit Member

    Thank you all for your kind words. Each one of you has given me greater strength to keep fighting onwards and upwards.

    Greatgran, I feel for you being bedridden. I'm an fortunate to be able to be up and around, even if I don't get out much. I do hope your health and situation improves soon.

    Jamie, thanks for letting me know you feel more empowered to tell your story. We do need to spread the word more to let people know about us and our conditions. Knowledge is power.

    Anchorholds, you made a very good point. Enough of us saying we're whining or feeling sorry for ourselves. We need to be angry at our conditions. Maybe the louder we are, the more attention we can bring to our plight.

    Janalyn, I'm still in the legal proceedings of the case. My lawyer advised me that it could take 1 to 3 years before anything's settled, so I'm just going to put it out of my mind until they get it all sorted out. It's probably the same insurance company as my disability one! That would be a laugh!

    Love and best wishes for better health to you all.
  8. efaye

    efaye New Member

    I couldn't help but laugh about it being the same insurance co. as your disabilty co. That was good I needed a laugh today .And please don't worry about whining ,who wouldn't whine if they feel like we do.I pray all works out for you and you get your mri soon. and just think us down here south of you might have the same wonderful, health ins. you canadians have before long with our new administration in office soon. I'm sorry you felt neglected on this board but I certainly understand I seldom get replies to any of my post. And when I do get one I'm soooo appreciative. I have so many thinga wrong w/ me and the holidays certainly does not help.. Take care and keep your chin up. someone is thinking about you. hugs efaye