What do you do when you think you can't go on?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by MsE, Oct 19, 2006.

  1. MsE

    MsE New Member

    The past two months have been chaotic. Sick sister, sick niece, sick grandson, sick daughters, had to travel across the state to care for folks and walked into the Jerry Springer show.

    Came home to more stress: a faulty will and other papers that needed fixing and a lawyer who took his own sweet time about it.
    A yard that has been torn up and needs to have grass planted and new bushes put in. Don't ask me how all this happened, but it did.

    Out of town company, which I loved, two weeks in a row. A dental appointment that I cancelled and rescheduled because of stress, and a trip to the dermatologist that I cancelled and rescheduled because of stress.

    Some money problems sneaking up on me--taxes, insurance, etc.
    and a major trip that I let myself be talked into because I'm 71 and have never taken a cruise and gotta get a few goodies in before I croak. At least I can do that sitting down. :)

    So now I'm in one of those bone weary, dizzy, spacy, fog-headed exaccerbations. I turned off the phone and went to bed and have been waiting for it to go away. It isn't. I can't think straight. I can't stand straight. I can't lean over to pick up a pile of brush without thinking I'm gonna faint. All I want to do is lie on the sofa and wait for it to be over. But I can't relax. GAD has me in its grips along with CFIDS. Gaaasaaaaa!

    II'm tired of having to cancel appointments, and I'm tired of feeling like a fog-headed ninny who has trouble standing upright and walking a few blocks.

    And I'm lonesome. And I'm sad. And I'm getting old and nothing is working as well as it should. Old age is bad enough, but old age and CFIDS is unfair punishment.

    There. I just wanted to whine and complain and holler and snarl and this is the only place where i can do this. Whimper
  2. springlakeorphan

    springlakeorphan New Member

    Dear MsE-
    All I can say is God Bless you! You are far more active at 71 than I am at 48. After reading your bio, I almost cried.Today I was telling my daughter that if I knew that I may be responsible for passing this (fibro and cfs)on to her, I never would have had her.We all have really bad days. Most of the time I just wait for tomorrow, in hope it will be better. I cry when I think my mom was in better shape and less pain at 80 when she died, than I am now. Enjoy your time as best as you can and by all means TAKE CARE OF YOU!!!! You are in my prayers and I hope tomorrow brings a better day. Many gentle hugs for you-Mary
  3. lobot_84

    lobot_84 New Member

    I am so sorry you are feeling so down.

    I just hope you can enjoy the cruise, to the extent the DD lets you. Even if you can't look forward to it because of pain and fatigue, I am so glad you are making yourself have a new experience. I hope it will turn out to be just the thing to give you a new perspective on things.

    Hang in there. We are all pulling and praying for you.

    FM's Dad
  4. Adl123

    Adl123 New Member

    So sorry you are having such a bad time.

    How long have you been resting? It sounds like you aren't really reating when you try to, because of what's on your mind.

    I know what works for me. I really rest. I allow no company or visitors, and I sometmes even put a "please do not knock" sign on the front door. Sometimes I stay that way for 2 or 3 days. Then, sometimes it takes 2 to 3 weeks of enforced rest, both physical and mental, re-enforced by good nutrition and funny TV, to put me in a condition where I can function again.

    You deserve the rest and the peace that comes with not worrying. Do you have children in the area? Maybe they could do the lawn and some other things, all without asking you for anything, and providing their own lunch and refreshments. I'm sure they would understand if you ezxplained it all to them.

    Good luck, and a big hug.
    Terry
    p.s. Meditation helps me keep my mind clear.T
  5. MsE

    MsE New Member

    First of all, my apology for not getting back to this page sooner. I had made the mistake of firgetting to check the email notification square and had conpletely forgotten I had started the subject. Major brain fog.

    But here I am, feeling much better after spending several days in bed for the most part.

    I appreciate all your kind comments. I'm just disgusted with myself for having become so negative. No--that's not quite true because I really was having a major exascerbation., and my brain was gone.

    So, in conclusion , my thanks to all of you. I won't be so neglectful next time I post. Hugs to all!
  6. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    Dear MsE,

    Move over, I'm sitting down beside you. I feel just like you do today; tired and achy and lonesome and sad, old and getting older by the second. Most days I pull on my bootstraps but today I hate it.

    Warning: Do not watch the DVD "Breaking Up", regardless of your age, thinking that Jennifer Aniston will cheer you up. This movie is a heartbreaker.

    Pass the tissues, please.

    Oh, and well, sure. When I do my typical forgetful thing of reading the rest of the posts AFTER I've posted, I see you're feeling better. OK, gimme the whole box of tissues.

    Marta
    [This Message was Edited on 10/22/2006]
  7. MsE

    MsE New Member

    Bless your heart, Marta! I just love hearing from someone else who is feeling like a boodle-head! Hugs!
    [This Message was Edited on 10/22/2006]
  8. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    MsEd:

    Do not give up hope. My doctor isists that I take no daytime naps. He expects me to be doing as much as I can during the day.

    Yes, it can be miserable. Sometime I work for five minutes and then take a break. Then, another five or ten minutes followed by rest.

    I make it a habit to walk around the block every day. No, I do not want to, but force myself.

    This may be no consolation to you, but it might help you to make those doctor appointments that you missed.

    I have done the same thing, but now make it a habit to show up.

    Not easy to be done, but as a sick person, I do all I can to check in with the docs.

    I hope and pray you feel better soon.

    nyrofan
  9. MsE

    MsE New Member

    It's time for bed, and I just read all your posts again. You are all so kind!

    I really am much better than I was when I started this thread a few days ago, and the blue funk has lifted. I seldom get as despondent as I was that day. Sometimes, however, it feels like life is slipping away and all I can do is watch it go. That's when I get down in the dumps.

    Most of the time, however, I manage well enough; and most of the time I am happy--or at least content--in spite of CFS.

    That's it for today. Many thanks and happy dreams to all of you.

  10. baanders

    baanders New Member

    please view my post on the worship message board.

    baanders
    [This Message was Edited on 10/22/2006]
  11. MsE

    MsE New Member

    I read the post on the worship board and responded to it there.
  12. Kayleen

    Kayleen New Member

    All I can say is hold on........It gets better eventually.
    I went through a really stressful couple of years..and eventually you get through it. I'll pray for you.
    Kayleen