wHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN ASKED "HOW ARE YOU?"

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by ilovepink4, Mar 16, 2006.

  1. ilovepink4

    ilovepink4 Member

    I hate that question...i don't like to sound like a big whiner but i hate lying....especially when it is such a struggle to be taken seriously....so, what do you say?
  2. kaiasmom

    kaiasmom New Member

    There are people in my life who I know really don't care to hear how I'm doing. For them, I usually say "ok" or "I've been better" and leave it at that.

    For those that really care, I am honest with them. If I'm having a rough day, sometimes it helps to talk it out with someone. But, only if that someone actually cares to hear.

    Just my opinion, for what it's worth.

    Take care,

    Leanne
  3. spmary

    spmary New Member

    Usually I just say,Am I competant to say? Stops further questions. They don't really want to hear anything anyway.
  4. barbarak

    barbarak New Member

    no matter who asked my response is "hanging in there". it may be by a thread or a noose but I'm hanging in.
  5. findmind

    findmind New Member

    yeah, I agree, its hard to know what to say. With people who don't really care, its just a greeting, I like to say not as good as I look and laugh.

    With my friends, who are that beacus I have understanding from them, I can say its a good or bad day, but stil i dont go into detail to much.

    Some family you can say you feel terrible or tell them while you have some energy you got some things done for a change (lol). Other family members couldn't care less they dont really want to know, so I never go into much detail with them.

    its hard, we have to be pretty tough sometimes.

    hang in there, we understand here...
    findmind
  6. BlueSky555

    BlueSky555 New Member

    I also hate that question. I have heard people say that they just hate to ask how some people are because they will go through ALL of the aches and pains so I believe they would most likely say that about me. Not that I care nor do I like lying but I just say "fine" and leave it at that. Take Care!

    BlueSky555
  7. HagerTX

    HagerTX New Member

    it depends on who is asking. Usually I say 'hanging in there' to most people. Tone of voice though can make those words sound either good or bad.

    What I've realized is that most people really aren't asking how I am doing..it's just another euphamism for hello or hi. If someone seriously asks in an inquisitive tone that sounds sincere I may give them more of a glimps as to how I'm actually doing.
  8. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I have found that when I get asked that question the best thing to say is that " I am just fine" or "I am doing ok"
    anything more than that always brings more questions and most people are just being courtious anyway,they really don't want to hear all about your aches and pains and how you really feel.

    I wish somedays that I could tell them just how I really feel and see what would happen, but I really think they don't want to hear all about it. They know that some thing is not quite right with you but if you came out and said that you have fibro they would look at you like your nuts. They don't understand what it is or why you have it, and is contagious. I know that it sounds really stupid to think that fibro is something that you can catch, like a cold but some people do think that way.

    Like I said before I tell most people that I am fine, if they ask you like a person I knew as a child just asked me. She asked me What was wrong with me , because she could see me limping and the look on my face was filled with pain. So I just said that I had arthritis in my knees. Yes I could have said that I have fibro but that means I have to explain it and I don't want to take that much time. And what I said was a good answer to her.

    Yes she knows that there is more that I am not telling her but she knows that when I want to tell her I will.

    Just answer something easy for you, like the arthritis, or I have just had the flu, I am just tired today but other than that I am ok, I try to say something that is easy to understand and will not take alot of exlpaining to do.

    Have a good day. And I am feeling really sleepy today still
    Rosemarie
  9. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    If Dh asks this I know he means me to answer. Most people just say it and draw back if you really tell the truth. I usually say, "Pretty much as I always am" or "A little better". Then change the subject.

    It is like the Have a Nice Day thing, it has lost its true meaning.

    When I ask someone how they are and they say OK I usually say, You know, you don't look too OK, I would be happy to hear what's up? And out come the tears....and the truth.


    What a society...

    LOve Anne C
  10. dragon06

    dragon06 New Member

    I never know what to say...regardless of who I am talking to...mainly cause I am never sure myself.
  11. ilovepink4

    ilovepink4 Member

    "hanging in there"...that is perfect....i have trouble deciding if they know i am sick or not, too....that also affects your answer....

    if they don't know you are ill, and you answer that you are terrible then they get that blank look on their face ...that is when i realize it was just a greeting ...i hate discussing my illness with people anyways...with 'outsiders' that is...
  12. RockiAZ

    RockiAZ New Member

    I also DO NOT like this question. Sad. It's just a typical question, but it stings terribly! I used to say "fine", then "hanging in there", and also practically word for word how Prickles explained. Now, I just say "I'm doing". The ones that really want to know, ask. The others just say "okay" and leave it alone.

    It's sad that we always have to explain ourselves. Maybe we should simply hand each person a flyer on our illness when we are asked that question (except those that DO understand). I'm so sorry if this sounds sarcastic, just not doing so well today.

    Live, Laugh, Love,
    Rocki
  13. ilovepink4

    ilovepink4 Member

    i am laughing!!! i can just see myself handing our flyers...
  14. GBHope

    GBHope New Member

    that day. Sometimes I am honest and other times I cover it up.

    GBHope
  15. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    pointed out, it depends on whether it's a greeting or a question.

    At our office, where we did Worker's Compensation Law, I usually answered in Comp Speak:

    Oh, slight to moderate That's 10 to 30% disabled.

    Oh, moderate to severe That's 30 to 50% disabled.

    Pretty bad, severe to total That's what's left.

  16. cistesmom

    cistesmom New Member

    most days i say "I'm blessed" because if i'm up and moving that's the truth. if someone cares to ask and wants the whole story then i may give them a scale number(1-10). i find its better if i don't make people uncomfortable with a long, drawn out account of my aches and pains, that usually shows anyway.
  17. kch64

    kch64 New Member


    o.k. (if I am) and hanging in there on the days I'm not o.k.

    but with the friends that i have that know how this is, I'll tell them the details if I'm not having a good day.


    Next time I feel really bad, I'll start like Prickles and tell the truth

    "Well, my skin is burning like a sunburn, my mouth is numb, my guts are in knots, my head hurts and I'm dizzy... How are you today?"

    Kendra
  18. joc_07

    joc_07 New Member

    I'm with Rosemarie on this one. I say "fine" and then ask how they are doing. People are just being courteous when they ask, they are just looking for a short intro into a small conversation. They aren't really interested in hearing about all our aches and pains.

    Jocelyn
  19. LISALOO

    LISALOO New Member

    I usually say, "Still above the dirt". Makes it easier. Or not so good, then change the topic.
  20. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I'm up and able to take nourishment. This was the standard answer one of my Mom's friends. He was a card.

    Love, Mikie