What happen to my original message about someone trying to take m

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by flo, Sep 21, 2002.

  1. flo

    flo New Member

    Can someone please tell me what happened to my original message?? I havent beeen able to get on here in a while because of everything that has been going on with my family. Some of you might remember. Some insane Criminal couple(Was actually a brother, Very Very sick people) made a report to DSS to try to have my kids taken away using the excuse I was unfit due to the fact that i take medication for this DD.I knew too much about there criminal activity and had to file a protective order against them because they threatened me and my children.so that was there way of retalliating.I really wanted to print out the responses but now I can not find it. Somehow it was deleted. This is very important to me as i wanted to show the social worker some of your responses to help my case.
    Moteraters or anyone who can help bring it back Please..please.. help. We dont have a finall desicion and my son is so tramatised by all this that the Dr says he is suffering from Post traumatic stress disorder and is on medication to help him get through this. But i need to put it to rest....so can anyone find my old post. I believe it posted on 9/11.Any new comments will also be appreciated.
    Thanks Fibro family.
    Blessings ~ Flo
  2. flo

    flo New Member

    Can someone please tell me what happened to my original message?? I havent beeen able to get on here in a while because of everything that has been going on with my family. Some of you might remember. Some insane Criminal couple(Was actually a brother, Very Very sick people) made a report to DSS to try to have my kids taken away using the excuse I was unfit due to the fact that i take medication for this DD.I knew too much about there criminal activity and had to file a protective order against them because they threatened me and my children.so that was there way of retalliating.I really wanted to print out the responses but now I can not find it. Somehow it was deleted. This is very important to me as i wanted to show the social worker some of your responses to help my case.
    Moteraters or anyone who can help bring it back Please..please.. help. We dont have a finall desicion and my son is so tramatised by all this that the Dr says he is suffering from Post traumatic stress disorder and is on medication to help him get through this. But i need to put it to rest....so can anyone find my old post. I believe it posted on 9/11.Any new comments will also be appreciated.
    Thanks Fibro family.
    Blessings ~ Flo
  3. JaciBart

    JaciBart Member

    HELP!! Someone is trying to have my children taken away because I 09/11/02 10:55 AM

    Hi Everyone,
    I am really!!!! counting on you right now as i never have before. Someone crazy has made a rediculous accusation against me saying I am unfit to care for my children because I take pain medication and they say it makes me "out of it". Totally untrue as you all know if people in pain take perscribed medication in the perscribed manner that is not an issue.As you know I, like so many of you use medication sparingly and it took a long time for the doctor to convince me that one of the most important part of treatment is to to stay on top of the pain and keep the nerves from being entrapped and pinched by the tight and spasming musclse.I am an excelent mother challenged by an illness. My role as a mother has alway come first and formost in my life. These people are after me because they theatened myself and my children so I had to get protective order against them from harming my children. So this is there way of retaliating. My children were taken out of there classes at school and interveiwed by a social worker so they know about this.My children have been suffering terrably because of these false accusations and are in such fear. These people who made these false accusations have criminal court cases in process against them because they are compulsive liars and swindlers they are very very evil people and i know too much so they are threatening me and they know how much I love my children so that is where they are striking. Everyone please!!!! please!!!! help me by just stating the facts about our illnes and how medication actualy gives us the quality of life we and our children deserve.It helps us to be better moms by being able to partisipate more by going to go to school to help sometimes or help in the childrens ministry at church. MOMS exspecialy please respond as you know how you love your children and how it would feel to have them torn away by false acuations like these.
    Thanks and Blessings to you all,
    Flo



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    telern89
    (24)

    Pain medication 09/11/02 11:01 AM

    Hello,

    To whom it may concern.Fibromyalgia is very painful and it is necessary to take pain medication in order to do everyday functions that everyone else takes for grantid.
    If you do not have Fibromyalgia then you dont understand how painful this is.If you dont know about it I suggest you get yourself educated on it.I'm a RN and have been one for 13 years and I'm very familar with this life stealing condition I have it myself.It is very unfair to suggest that someone can not care for their children because they take pain meds millions of people in America take pain meds what on earth are you folks thinking!!!

    Donna Q R.N.


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    Pat
    (61)

    To who, it may concern: 09/11/02 11:20 AM

    I am a 35 year wife and mother of five young children. I am also an RN, and have Fibromyalgia. Nearly everyone I know who has this awful disease, and has children, spend their days doing a balancing act between taking care of themselves, their disease and their children. It may seem extreme to those of you who have no pain, that a chronic pain patient takes pain meds daily, but I assure you that a person in constant pain is NOT going around "buzzed" on drugs. The medications required to keep pain from destroying our lives are used wisely, and keep us functioning physically so that we ARE able to care for our children. I, nor any other FM patient I have ever known, have never been too "drugged" up to be a mom. The "out of it" look we have sometimes is directly caused by what has been termed Fibro Fog. It is a difficulty at times in concentrating and focusing on small details, but never interferes with child rearing. This Fibro Fog occurs regardless of whether a person is taking pain meds that day or not. It is a shame that those who have a grudge against another person could use something this serious to attempt to tear a family apart. I have FM, I am a professional, I take pain meds every day, and I am a good mother. Look into the WHOLE life a woman before you jump to any conclusions. Thank you. Patti G, RN


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    majic
    (470)

    my pain meds 09/11/02 11:21 AM

    hi to who ever that is trying to break up this mom and her kids. i take pain meds everyday and work 40 hours a week. the pain meds that i'm on is percocet and it is a narcotic. i have no problem functioning in my life with my pain meds. as long as you take meds the way that you are suppose to do. they should be no problems.

    Flo i do hope that you have an attorney. if you don't get one quick. hope this can help. majic


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    caring
    (185)

    Flo. 09/11/02 11:23 AM

    Well, I can't write anything on meds but just wanted to know I"m here and will be saying special prayers for you and your family.

    Blessings to you
    pat


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    dancersmom
    (182)

    Flo 09/11/02 11:26 AM

    Sound like you need to get yourself an attorney. Regardless of your ability to pay for an attorney or not, they are out there for you and your children. That's the first place to start....good luck
    dancersmom


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    Jillian40
    (55)

    OK Flo, Start Thinking Like A Lawyer . . . . . 09/11/02 11:28 AM

    Flo -

    We are all behind you sweetheart. Hopefully, you'll
    get several comforting posts to help you!!!

    Since it sounds like your doctor is behind you in the
    area of pain management and hopefully is an advocate
    of the fibromyalgia illness, the first thing I would
    suggest that you consider doing, is to contact him/her
    and ask for a letter regarding your pain medication/
    pain management regimen, that he approves of for your
    condition. Ask the doctor to also write a paragraph
    about how pain medication is rarely abused by those
    who are using it to manage true pain levels.

    In addition to this, or instead of, if your doctor doesn't
    respond to your request, contact a pain control center
    and ask for an article or other resource about the above.

    Secondly, find a way to document your actual use of the prescribed pain meds, such as a pharmacist records on you, showing how often you fill the doctor's prescribed regimin.

    Thirdly, ask friends, teachers, those at church that witness your mothering behavior, to write a letter, giving specific examples of their observations. Have them also include their phone numbers if they don't mind being a character witness over the phone or in an interview with Social Workers. It would be important to get letters from professionals in addition to friends. They may look at
    their "testimony" as different than that of a friend who is "protecting" you. Do you have a friend who is a social worker? Do you know the school principal, church clergy? Others?

    Do you have someone babysit the kids to give you Time Out occasionally. (I don't know you kids ages), but this would
    show that you do reasonalbe things to rest and relax yourself. Have this person write a letter, too.

    Lastly, don't think of yourself as a victim. All of us are called upon at times in our lives to demonstrate our integrity and to have our behavior questioned. Just rise to the ocassion and know that God is on your side.

    Breathe deeply and feel God's Peace,
    An Advocate, ........ Jillian




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    Milo83
    (205)

    Pain Medications 09/11/02 11:39 AM


    To Whom it may Concern:

    I would just like to state that by taking pain medications, DOES NOT mean that you are not a "fit" mother..For those of you who do not know anything about FMS, I suggest you read up on it and quickly..Most of us with FMS have to take some type of pain medication every day of our lives..These are drugs that are prescribed by a Dr.; and when taken as directed are safe and we can continue to do our daily things with our children..We make sure our children are well taken care of, clothes, fed, clean, etc..There is no reason why someone taking pain medication should be considered an unfit mother..I think that those of us with FMS are sometimes better mothers than others, we learn to adjust our lives, and put our priorities first which would be our children..
    And yes, we sometimes do suffer from "Fibro Fog", but that has nothing to do with the medications..There are some that don't take pain medications, weather it be because of fininacial reasons or whatever,and they still suffer from Fibro Fog...Everyone that has Fibro suffers from different degrease of it, and if you are in that much pain, you will take the medication..THIS IN NO WAY REFLECTS HOW WE TREAT OUR FAMILIES AND OUR CHILDREN!!!!!!!
    Donna


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    TeresaBnGA
    (162)

    Hi Flo! 09/11/02 12:32 PM

    I have 3 children myself and if it weren't for the medication that I take I wouldn't be able to function as well as I do. Everyone around me knows of my disease and of the medications that I am on. Pain meds are especially needed to take away the pain.
    Whom ever it is trying to get your children away should get a big reality check!! Don't let them get the best of you! There are several websites that you can get some help and letters that you can use. Email me at gntbaker@msn.com and I will give you the websites and the names of some people that you can get in touch with through the internet that may be able to help you with this!

    Soft hugs!
    Teresa :)


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    madelyn
    (17)

    Get a lawyer! 09/11/02 03:40 PM

    You need to get a lawyer right now. Interviewing your children without your knowledge in school was illegal. You have a case against the school and the social workers.
    Good luck!


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    Shirl
    (3703)



    Moderator Hi Flo,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 09/11/02 03:49 PM

    What a horrible thing for people to do to you. I raised my three children, and half raised my grandson with Fibromyalgia.

    I don't take pain meds anymore, but as long as they are taken as prescribed, what is the problem?

    Someone said for you to get an attorney, well you bet you might need one.

    Just because someone is ill, and prescribed pain meds, that is no reason they can't care for their children. What a terrible thing to do to a good, caring Mom!

    Will be praying for you, and those people who are tormenting you too.

    Shalom! Shirl




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    MicheleF
    (473)

    Dear flo, so sorry to hear about your troubles 09/11/02 04:24 PM

    You've gotten some excellent advice. The best thing you can do for yourself & your children besides getting a lawyer is to do what you need to do to calm yourself down. Whether it's prayer, meditation, visualizing, writing down your feelings...as I'm sure you're aware stress, worry, (& I can't even begin to imagine what you're feeling) will make the pain & fibrofog so much worse. You need your strength to get thru this...and I have no doubt that you WILL get thru this successfully.

    Take comfort in the fact that if it actually even came down to a court case (which I can't believe the social workers would let it get that far), the judge will look at who's doing the accusing. The fact that you had a restraining order first also works very well in your favor.

    Best wishes & most certainly please keep us posted on how you're doing. We're here to support one another, so if you need to vent, know that you're not alone. Michele


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    GaryandKim
    (409)

    Hi Flo, What a mess we have 3 friends that went through this 09/11/02 05:03 PM

    Stay in control and don't panic. Yes they have the right to talk to your kids w/o you knowing and that is the way they must do it to make sure they arn't coached. They must check out every call to make sure kids are safe. Our friends never lost their kids. Don't attack your accusores but, give them a copy of your restraning order and explane what is going on that directly relates to you. They will talk to many people you know and many times neighbors to. Your doctor is a good one and the kids doc. The teacher etc. What ever you do, stay in control. It isn't fun but, anyone can do this to anyone and many have gone through this. It isn't plesant but, the security of children must be investigated. It may take several weeks to 2-3 months before you get a decission. They didn't run in and take the kids so that is a great sign. If they thought they were in real danger from your pain meds. They would have taken them from school or from home. Give them a copy of the restaning order and explane what happened in the past briefly and clearly. They will drop the case and no record will be there after they finish there investigation. Have them talk to your doc. They almost always talk to your kids doc, teachers, neighbors. People that know and see you and your kids. Our 3 different friends never lost their kids and while it is unplesant, be secure that they are looking out for your kids best interests. Don't ask your kids a lot of Q's about the interview.Just let them know that it's okay. Stay strong and calm for your kids. This happens every day for revenge and they know this. They will not have a record if they don't take acton after they do their fact finding. So that is good.

    Yes, it is scary but, try to relax. Is there another adult in the house like a dad not on meds? That helps if they do feel you can't do it alone. But, alone or not your kids are clean, fed, clothed and cared for so all should be fine.

    It may take days to weeks to a couple months for a decission. This is normal. They have many cases and if they thought they wre in danger they would have taken them fro school.

    Take care, Kim and Gary


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    teach6
    (1263)

    Just to clear up one point 09/11/02 07:16 PM

    It is legal for a social worker to speak with your children without your permission at school. It is often done when a parent has been accused of abuse or neglect. So suing them or the school system will not do you any good. Believe me, the schools know what they can do legally in these cases and would not allow them to interview your children if it were illegal.

    Barbara


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    selma
    (321)

    Flo 09/11/02 07:40 PM

    I'm so sorry to hear about the challenges that you face.
    Please, heed the advice of those on the board they have given you good advice. If you react to those who are being devilish, dishonest, deceitful, and diabolical you are letting them win. Present the truth as you and we know it. God only knows that you can only do your best, then leave it up to Him. Take encouragement from a prayer that I have posted and it's under, What has helped me. I hope it helps you. You need to take good physical and emotional care of your childrens' Mom.. They will always need you! You only have to be there for them.
    I'm sending prayer to thr One who watches over us all.

    Write and tell us of your positive progress. I don't get on very much but try and keep up later.

    Love is all around you. Huggs, Selma


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    motg
    (21)

    Hugs 09/11/02 11:36 PM

    I am not sure how I can help. I am a mother of two and right now I am not taking pain meds, but there are a lot of other conditions out there like MS. and Lupis that well also cause people to take pain medicen. I am sure that your Dr. knows that you have kids and knows that you have to care for them so there for he well not give you anything that might put them at risk. Also we know our own bodies and as moters well put up with pain rather then taking somting that would interfear with our care of our children. If children are to be taken away just because of medicaly neaded medicen then over half the children would have to be taken away. I don't feal that these people have any chance. You sound like a great Mom. Find a lawer and sue them for filing a false report. We are all behind you. Please keep us up to date on what is happening.
    Barb


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    dolsgirl
    (74)

    My suggestion..... 09/12/02 12:34 AM

    May I suggest that you have your doctor write something regarding your mental status while on these meds, or will that give them the opportunity to delve into your medical files which are nobodies business and easily misinterpreted. You should probably print out the article that starts our forum for fibromyalgia, about fibromyalgia. Also, there's another site:

    http://www.msnusers.com/fibrohugs

    (you'll have to cut & paste to your address bar, then "enter" or "go"), it's fibrohugs.com and it's in the MSN groups, that has the same info plus a letter to non-fibromyalgics discussing what we have to deal with. It's too difficult for people to even comprehend that somehow, we do forge ahead, with our symptoms trying to beat us down. It's an upward battle to just get out of bed everyday. Would they simply take someone's children away for another disability? You may want to consider speaking with a lawyer. You're being discriminated against because of your disability! Stand up for yourself AND your children.

    I have had fibromyalgia for years, but no treatment until after my children were grown. I had been too tired to participate more in their lives than I did. I didn't know why I was in so much pain and so fatigued. Once I did get dianosed and treated I was able to participate more in LIVING and being a mother and wife.

    People have many misconceptions regarding being treated for something versus taking medication when it isn't indicated. There's a very big difference. Katie

    [This Message was Edited on 09/12/2002]


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    madelyn
    (17)

    Correction! 09/12/02 07:43 AM

    I am a homeschooler. Social workers routinely overstep their legal boundaries when dealing with suspected cases of abuse. I have seen it many times. Home School Legal Defense Association has successfully sued individual social workers and their employers on behalf of families whose rights have been violated. Please contact a lawyer!! We have a FOURTH AMENDMENT in this country!


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    flo
    (79)

    Thank you all for your support !!! 09/12/02 05:40 PM

    You all are so awesome!! I had already taken some of the steps which were recommended by you all. I have many freinds and neigbors who see me and my children everyday responding to DSS in letters calls and requests to interviewed in person. I am truely blessed to have such wonderful neighbors and freinds including all of you. The teachers at school even say they will write leters for me.My sons teacher this year had a mother who had a chronic illnes all through her growing up years so she really understands me and my everyday struggle with a chronic illness and she sees me there involved everyday i can in what ever way I can. I was preveouly a foster parent so I do understand how the system works and sometimes they can make judgments to haistilly.Or if there is a someone in a position of power with a bent attitude it can go all wrong for the children and the families. I have seen it happen before. It was always my ministry to heal families and bring them back togather if posible. I will definately keep you all posted. Any other help,suggestions or support wil be greatly appreciated.
    Thanks again,
    Flo


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    BlueMoon
    (122)

    Just need to say... 09/12/02 11:38 PM

    That, I know My children have grown up much more intouch with the world having a mother that is sick. My Kids are much more mature then your advrage kid. They have to be, they have been a part of My care giving team & in return have learned much more at home with Me then they would have at school! I too have home schooled My kids in the past. As for having a sick mother that is on meds has changed my kids for the better! I know they will be much better adults learning things that most kids never learn, like compation, care giving along with reciving. They have become intune with sick people. They have never been neglected, they may not have had a ride to a friends house from me being sick, but i think that is the only thing that they have missed.
    Good luck, My prayers are with you.

    Robin


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    herblady
    (1945)

    lawyer 09/13/02 01:03 AM

    oh, this is just terrible. some people are so cruel. do you think maybe you should get a lawyer? cindi


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    Ellie
    (314)

    Hi FLo 09/13/02 11:39 AM

    I too am in the same boat as you as of last night my ex moved to Hawaii three weeks ago and because he didn't like the way I was handling her school he turned against me. He just sold a house in NJ and is walking around with alot of cash and buying my 17 year old. Last night he refused to bring her home and I had to call the police and I heard my ex and my 21 year old are going to child protective custody saying I can't take care of her because I am a drug addict on naroctics. I thing I have on him is witnessed that are my neighbors that told me last night that everynight when I go to bed he comes over and gets the teenagers high on pot and they will write statements. So I may copy some of your responses if I need them, I hope thats okay. Good luck. ALoha Ellie


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    ElneClare
    (53)

    Flo and Ellie 09/13/02 09:02 PM

    I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I gone through much the same thing, but it was before I got dianose with FMS for having a messy house. The social workers worked with me for months to try to help me organized to get the house clean, but I just couldn't do more then 30 minutes of work without going into a flare. Finally when it look like they where about to take my girls from me I saw the Doctor at John Hopkins that said I had FMS. I printed out infomation from Devin's site and let the social workers read it. Suddenly the messy house was my kids problem as it was determine that they were old enough to help me with the cleaning. Case was closed and record cleared.

    Your best defense is making sure the Social worker handling your case gets all the imforation on this DD as you can flood them with. Maybe if I had lawyer things wouldn't have gone on for 6 months, but it took that long for me to get DSS to get my name right on Medical assistance Card, so I could go to Hopkins.

    Another Ellie


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    GaryandKim
    (409)

    17 She is so close to being an adult that she can live with 09/13/02 09:16 PM

    whom ever she decides even if you have a custody order. Usually by age 13 they have a major say in where they live and by 15 judges will let them go where they want. Of course if there is proven illegal drug usage that may put the other in jail so you gey em. 17, she is able to do for her self and no judge would care what either parent says just the child unless as I said there is illegal things going on. We've helped in a few custody cases and worked with (Gary was a paralegal for years) lawyers on mostly bankruptcy cases but, some domestic. If she wants to stay she'll stay. If she wants to go now she can.

    Good luck, Kim and Gary

    PS Was that house yours to?


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    PMangels
    (96)

    Dearest Flo 09/14/02 06:24 AM

    I can't add anymore than what has already been said but I want you to know that you have my support. I am a mother also but my children are all grown up now but I know if I was in your shoes I would be devastated. And it's okay to reach out to your family on this board. They are so caring. When I read post like this I am really touched to tears. May God reach down from heaven and put his loving arms around you and your children and keep you safe.

    Love and Gentle HUGS
    Arlene


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    jacibart
    (109)


    [ edit | delete ] bump for flo 09/21/02 08:35 PM

    here ya go!!!!

    good luck,

    Jaci


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    Jaci
  4. JaciBart

    JaciBart Member

  5. flo

    flo New Member

    My life is still in a continual drama here. It is horrible and with all this stress my pain is so bad I can not sit here...so this is going to be short and sweet. BIG!! Thanks to all and please keep praying everyone. These people are very evil and will stop at nothing to hurt me and my family.I promise to update you all when I can sit here longer. Right now I am having dificulty walking and sitting.I go for an MRI on Friday.I hope they find something they can easily fix.The nerves are so pinched!!
    Bless you all !! Flo
    PS .. Where did this post disappear to anyway? I searched and searched and could not find it.Thanks again!
  6. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    Good job! You take care Flo, and know that we are all behind you, with payer, good wishes, and blessings.

    Shalom, Shirl
  7. allhart

    allhart New Member

    you and the kids are in my prayers
  8. JaciBart

    JaciBart Member

    I did a search using key words and actually ended up finding responses to your original message from others, they had used your name in the title line and that pulled up the responses which pulled up the thread.
    I love a challenge.
    I could have done without the challenge of this DD. I think I am getting CFIDS on top of my fibro.


    Jaci