What Happened to Happiness?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by greatgran, Jul 9, 2005.

  1. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    Is it just me but since this disease, cfids,
    I feel no joy or happiness even on very special occasions when I should.

    It just hit me this morning what a void I have inside me..No peace, joy or happiness..
    Before the disease I never felt this way even when I was depressed and things were going bad in my life I still had some feeling in me.

    I just don't feel love, I know I love my children, husband and others but it doesn't feel like I do..Its a feeling of numbness..

    There is no laughter in me or there are times
    I go thru the motions but the feeling is gone..

    Yes, I am sure this is depression but is it also a part of this DD? I just want some peace, joy and happiness to go with the fatigue and pain..Is that possible?

    Just wondering if anyone can relate?
  2. Empower

    Empower New Member

    Unfortunately, I can relate

    Sorry to hear that you are going through this too

    We got to remember to be thankful though for what we have - and it could always be worse
  3. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    Thanks to each of you for your replies..I
    do count my blessings and so thankful because things could be so much worse..

    Hangininthere, about the St.John's Wort
    can you take it if you take xanax? I am so med phobic I am afraid to try even over the counter drugs.. I still haven't got the grapeseed pills..are they still working for you? Do you take St.John's in the morning or night or just when you feel you need it??

    We do not have a Walgreens here will have to try walmart or one the health stores..

    How have you been doing? Miss talking to you...

    Thanks again for both replies,
  4. KMD90603

    KMD90603 New Member

    a chronic illness like this can do that to you. I also have CFIDS, and I know that feeling of numbness. It wasn't until I started actually battling against it and putting up a fight that I began to feel happiness. By fighting it, I mean that I don't allow it to keep me in bed all day and coup myself up. Often I end up feeling very sick..with a fever, achiness, joint pain, headache, sore throat, etc. But, if I'm going to be sick with this disease either way, I might as well be sick and have fun.

    I think I've learned to really take charge of my life and I've become more accepting that I have this disease and there's no cure. So, I might as well make the best of life with CFIDS. in doing this, I've gone back to school for nursing and I'm enjoying every moment with my husband and son.

    I hate this disease just as much as anything, and we can't always control the illness or our symptoms, but we can control what we do with it and how we react to it. What you are going through is also very normal, but in time you will find your own way of accepting and dealing with it. I believe very strongly that we go through stages of grieving with a chronic disease, just as you would after losing someone close to you. Because you are losing the person you once were.

    Gentle hugs,
  5. nina2

    nina2 New Member

    I have my grandchildren here with me this weekend and I feel like a dish rag,

    So weak and tired and full of pain.

    I wish I could say something to lift your spirits but just know that this DD is a spoiler and try as you may to fight it on a day to day basis, there are some days that just don't work.

    I can only say to you what I say to myself.

    Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.
  6. Meekah

    Meekah New Member

    that you may find peace and joy in your heart.

    Hugs and Prayers
  7. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    I have had clinical depression for 8 years (probably longer, but dx) and take antidepressants daily; however, I do not have the extent of feelings that I once had before FM set in two years ago. Go through the motions a lot, but would rather just stay home and not have to deal with people and things.

    That said, I do still go through the motions or I may as well just kiss it off...!

    Just part of the DD...yet another fight!

  8. Jgavi

    Jgavi New Member

    I know exactly how you feel!

    Its awful now, I have been waiting for almost a decade for the "good old days" to come back..but I lose hope each day...

    Sad but its the reality most of us live in...

    Your right, we cant feel that enjoyment like we use to...

  9. ceili

    ceili New Member

    If you really think about it, and let it set in.....it helped me this morning to cheer up a bit. HOpe it helps you too!

    Embrace life!

    When life comes at you, run out and embrace it. The more enthusiastically and completely you embrace life, the better it will be.

    Embrace the beauty, the joy, the wonder and the abundance of life. At the same time, embrace the challenges, the setbacks, the disappointments and the difficulties.

    For by embracing life fully, you put yourself in a position to make a positive difference. By welcoming the ups and the downs, you're able to move forward from an effective and realistic perspective.

    Certainly life has very real tragedies, yet often what seem to be disappointments are disappointments only because you imagine them to be. When you stop fighting them and start embracing them as part of life's flow, you'll find many of them not to be disappointments at all.

    Whatever life sends your way at any given moment is what you have to work with. So embrace it and then set about to make the most of it.

    Embrace life, and all the many paths it takes. Embrace life, and those paths will lead where you truly want to go.

    -- Ralph Marston
  10. nina2

    nina2 New Member

    thanks, but the last time that I felt a thrill about live, I ran to embrace it, fell on my back and ended up in bed for a week.How's that for enthusiasm? or bad breaks?

    Sorry ,just a bit of humor there.

    [This Message was Edited on 07/10/2005]
  11. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    Thank each of you for your wonderful input..Guess we just have to take what we got and make the most and best of it..No matter how hard it is...

    I just remember life like it use to be and how just the simple things put a smile on my face and I had so much love and compassion for everyone and everything and was always there to help others...Now by body won't let me..but thankful for what it will let me do...

    God Bless,
  12. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    Still feeling the lack of joy and happiness, so rather than repost thought I would just bump this one.

    Just venting,
  13. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    Not taking any AD's couldn't tolerate them, how I wish I could. I do take xanax if it wasn't for xanax taking the edge off, I think I would have jumped off the edge.

    I have read that fish oil (omega3) and flax seed helps depression. So starting both this morning, not very positive but will give it a try.

    Thanks for your reply,
  14. Rockismom

    Rockismom New Member

    It's good that you have found a way to continue on with your life in a positive way... but some of us are not so fortunate.

    I too keep a positive attitude and try not to let this dd control my life. The truth is...it does!

    Congratulations on your success. I envy you.

    Best wishes,
    [This Message was Edited on 09/15/2008]
  15. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    Yes, I know there is joy in the simple things, I use to feel it, the smell of a fresh mowed lawn, laughter, a running fountain, my home, family but now I am just blah and can't understand what is happening to me.

    Still haven't heard back from my doc about how much or what kind of vit.D, think she is waiting on my thyroid and cortisol test. I do hope to hear something today.

    Also, I think my family situation is causing me a lot of stress with my husband not wanting my son here, my husband is kind and good but lives in his world, controls the house etc. and gets upset that my children are the way they are. Never has a good or encouraging word to say, gets upset with me because no matter what I will be there for my children.

    Thought of leaving many times but no money or a place to go.

    Thanks, I am hoping this to shall pass.
    [This Message was Edited on 09/15/2008]
  16. vannafeelbettr

    vannafeelbettr New Member

    And, unfortunately, we lack it. It's not your fault. I've been fortunate that Cymbalta (which increases seritonin levels) has helped me feel a lot more happy feelings these days. I'm cherishing them as I'm sure at some point med will stop working.

    Good luck!!
  17. tandy

    tandy New Member

    ,... I hate to admit it.

    they say we/I have every reason for happiness,.. yes, even with CF or Fibro,or any other disability.

    I mean I'm so glad that I'm able to be here and see my kids grow up. They are both in middle and high schools.
    yet,... the real joy is'nt there.
    I do think its the everyday pains that drag me down.

    every once in awhile when something gives me a 'good hearty laugh',... I'm reminded on how I use to feel all the time.

    your not alone :)
  18. Alycia07

    Alycia07 New Member

    Right now I can feel myself slipping back into that mode where I dont care about much and I dont laugh or smile anymore. It comes and goes for me but I wish it would just go and not come back. I feel like it cant get much worse even tho I know it definitly can get alot worse. Some days I just stay in my room and sleep so I dont have to think about anything. But most days I have to force myself to go through the motions so my husband and kids dont have to suffer along with me. I hope you find releif in all the emotions and numbness. Mine does go away so I hope yours will also. Good Luck to you

  19. Sachmo500

    Sachmo500 New Member

    I don't know what medicines you are taking, but I found that when I was taking cymbalta, it took away the hapiness and the depression.

    I think because I was not depressed but was taking an anti-depressant, it took away all the extreme emotions.

    Once, I stopped taking cymbalta the hapiness came back along with anger and other emotions.

    I think sometimes doctors are too quick to prescribe these anti-depressants when people are not depressed

    That is just my opnion. Maybe talk to your doctor and he can change some of your medications