What happens when I can't take care of myself??

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by donna13210, Sep 1, 2013.

  1. donna13210

    donna13210 Member

    I've had Fibro since the 80's and my general health has been deteriorating ever since. In the last two decades, my list of detrimental health issues grew and grew (diabetes II, arteriosclerosis, HBP, degenerative disc disease, osteoarthritis, etc). I was awarded permanent Soc Sec Disability a few years ago and live alone. Lately the fatigue has become overwhelming, and I am not taking care of myself properly. I barely have the energy (or the interest) to take a shower daily and am starting to skip days. I eat only frozen entrees, carryout or any junk that's handy. Or I don't eat at all. I sometimes forget or procrastinate about taking my meds. My apt has become a cluttered, unclean mess and I hate it being this way. I feel like a big blob of skin and fat.

    I have no one to help me, and living on Disability, I sure can't afford to hire help. I'm hesitant to contact Social Services (or other such agency) for in-house help because on the outside, I don't look sick. I would be afraid this person would think that I don't really need help. I would feel totally uncomfortable sitting on the sofa and watch TV while someone cleans my apt! Dumb, huh? How do I overcome these thoughts??

    Yes I suffer from depression to a certain degree. I don't feel that I'm majorly depressed because in my head I still WANT to be active (clean up the clutter, do crafts again, work part-time, etc).

    I hope someone can offer their insight into this problem. Maybe you've been there?
    Donna M.
  2. donna13210

    donna13210 Member

    Hello jaminhealth - I believe you and I have "spoken" before. I haven't been on this message board (or any health-related site) for quite awhile.

    I have read online that Soc Services, United Way, and other agencies may have household help available for the chronically ill, low-income persons, and/or senior citizens, but I've never inquired to get the details. Maybe I could try "easing into it" by just asking for help with just one certain chore. It would be interesting to see if I could handle that.

    As far as my blood pressure, I had found a very inexpensive gym near me and was going regularly about a year ago. (I'm talking treadmill and a few machines - not a "normal-person workout"). While going there, I had lost a little weight (which really helped with my diabetes), and was starting to feel a bit stronger and a bit better. Then I had surgery and a couple of other painful health challenges, and have never been able to go back to the gym. I keep hoping to get the energy to go back as exercise would help so much with my blood pressure (and other ailments.)

    Thanks for your encouraging words. Take care!
  3. gb66

    gb66 Well-Known Member

  4. donna13210

    donna13210 Member

    Hi GB, thanks for the reply. I'm sorry that you have more than your share of health challenges to deal with also. It gets SO frustrating, as many of us know.

    And yes, I know I shouldn't hesitate to ask for help. I just have to figure out how to get over these feelings that I have about doing just that.

    Take care and I hope you find some relief soon.
  5. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    When I was at my worst, I hadn't gotten my SSD yet. I felt shame when I couldn't keep my condo up, expecially if anyone stopped in. I did, however, have the occasional good day or two and would do what I could then, despite being bedridden and on morphine most of the time.

    What has happened to us is through no fault of our own and we were productive members of society. Now, if we need help, there should be no shame in asking for it. I know it's hard, especially since most of us were independent people before we got sick. Agencies exist to help those who cannot help themselves. It is actually better for society if our needs are met. Good luck.

    Love, Mikie
  6. Bruin63

    Bruin63 Member

    I know how you feel.
    when my sis lived with me, a few years ago, she had Health care help, through ssdi and then when she rec. her ss, at 65, she was able to get more hours that she could have a helper.

    i had a very hard time watching someone else do the house work for her, at the same time, it took a lot of stres off me.

    one word of caution, do a background check, yourself.
    the soc. serv. screen, but not always as well a s they should.

    the last helper, stole some things from, when i was out, and sis couldn't see her in my room, she did give most of it back, only because i wouldn't press charges, my mom's rings meant a lot to me, you know.

    i did report her to soc. sev tho, so she could not work through them again.

    you'll get used to the help, when you have someone that you can depend on, it's a real blessing, and really, nice to have some one to talk to.
    the bset lady we had, was great, but family moved, and then we got the bad one, oh well.

    sorry if my typing is weird, as my hands are like claws, these days and shake a lot.

    but i enjoy reading , in case there is somethin new that might work, for me too.
    hate have great ideas, and ambition, but haveing my get up and go, leave me in the dust, so to speak.

    blessings and hope you can have someone who will help to lighten your load, as much as possible

  7. Jacober

    Jacober Member

    A lot of us are in the same situation
  8. msbsgblue

    msbsgblue Member

    I am in the same boat as you, have had this as long as you and I applied to my local Area on the Aging and they evaluated me and I get someone to help me 4 1/2 days a week. I am almosy 67 now and people don't believe I am a day over 55 so I say go for in-home help. It only took me 3 weeks to get my helper.
  9. Vinkel

    Vinkel Member

  10. Vinkel

    Vinkel Member

    I hope you find help Donna. Never give up hope. God Bless.
  11. donna13210

    donna13210 Member

    Thank you all for your encouraging words! Sorry for the delayed reply - haven't been online much lately. Mikie - I know the shame you speak of. Know it very well. And lord yes, I'm SO used to being independent! I've worked full-time since age 16 and raised a daughter by myself when my hubby decided to leave us when she was just 2 yrs old. I'm not used to asking for help and I'm SURELY not used to people offering it without being asked. I find that that only happens in the movies!

    Sharon - that is another concern of mine: to be able to trust any help that comes into my home. I'm sorry that you went through that bad experience. That's awful !!

    Thanks again to all. I'll try to hang in there if you will !!
    Take care.