What I have learned this week

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by texangal81, Jun 27, 2008.

  1. texangal81

    texangal81 New Member

    One of my favorite programs is Morning Joe on MSNBC. I'm a politics junkie and I watch it every morning when I get ready for work. At the end of each show they do a "What have we learned today" segment where the cast each recalls what they've learned.

    Well this is what I have learned this week.

    My 'well-meaning' ex-fiance and still good friend just called to give me the "mind over matter" lecture. He chose to do it during a really good stretch of sleep too. Many of you posted that you have given up trying to explain this dd to people because unless they have it, they won't understand. This is exactly what I told him. What makes it even worse is that his SIL has had FMS for years so now SHE is the gospel of truth and what works for HER is supposed to be MY course of action. "Get out of bed, go to the pool, don't give up, you TELL yourself you aren't going to let this beat you today".

    So the first thing I learned just happened - turn off the phone until you are ready to take calls. If it is important, they will leave a message and/or call back. If someone has died, they will still be dead when you turn the phone back on.

    Don't push. Pushing will take what might be a minor flare and turn it into a week in bed. I had a good day Sunday but when I felt that I needed to slow down, I pushed. I was at Walgreen's at 8:00 Sunday night because I HAD to have a blue eye pencil to match the really cute blue knit set I bought to wear to work on Monday. I worked 2 hours on Monday and I've been dead ever since. The outfit is still, for all practical purposes, clean.

    If you want to stay employed, then you HAVE to make working the center of your world. Work and do nothing else but that - no matter what people tell you, call you, or attempt to force you to do. I will now work and nothing else. My days will now consist of - morning swim, go to work, come home, sleep. My weekends will be - swim and rest. I will shop online, have my social interaction online, and if the urge hits, maybe get a little frisky online. Thank God I have my computer, it has now become my eyes into the world.

    Someone else is going to have to do the heavy stuff. If I can keep working, I can afford to pay someone to do it. I sold my bedroom furniture earlier this week and the stress of having to unload all of it contributed to the flare. THEY bought the furniture and they got a heck of a deal. They can unload it. So they see my sexy black, lace undies, who has the energy to wear them anymore? Besides, I'm single, and I certainly don't want or need another man telling me "it's just mind over matter".

    Don't waste time or angst on people who don't understand. Thank them for caring and then hang up or leave the room if they won't shut up. Don't compare yourself to Susie's best friend's mother's second cousin's third wife who swears that being dragged 50 laps around the pool by a small power boat 'get's yer blood pumping'. Don't compare yourself to Joe's Aunt Harriet's maid's daughter's friend who was cured by eating nothing dandelion greens and Starbucks double chocolate half shot caramel mocha latte.

    When you start feeling better DON'T, I repeat DON'T, throw the covers back and start the insanity all over again. GO SLOW. Still rest. Do very simple, little things. If you want to do anything at all, increase that gentle exercise. Write an extra blog. Consider a small load of laundry but only if you feel that moving it from the washer to the dryer won't kill you.

    And MOST IMPORTANTLY......this is what I'VE learned for ME. You might be totally different. So you have to learn for yourself what is going to keep you moving as energetically and painlessly as you can.

    I am turning the phone off and trying to recapture that great run on sleep that I had going before I learned all of this.........

  2. CockatooMom

    CockatooMom New Member

    I totally agree with you. I had to laugh at a few comments, but that was GREAT for me, I needed that!

    I am blessed that my bf understands my DD's but I still feel guilty if I don't try to push myself to get some things done, around the house, or grocery shopping-whatever.

    NO ONE, except the wonderful people on this board, really understand what I go through on a daily basis. Not my mother, my aunt, my uncle, or my cousin. And they don't want to hear it.

    My aunt asked me what I was going to do yesterday, so I told her what was planned, and she said "well at least you aren't lazy." But I didn't get it done, I slept for 3 hours yesterday afternoon, so am I lazy now?

    Who cares what others think. They don't live in my body.

    I enjoyed your post and learned a little myself from it.
    I hope you have a great day!

  3. Empower

    Empower New Member

    Funny and some good advise

    Nobody understands our daily struggles!!!
  4. Debra49659

    Debra49659 New Member

    Very well put, I can certainly use a few words of your wisdom!

  5. cookie1960

    cookie1960 New Member

    dear tex,

    It's nice to see that there is someone else out there who has not lost their sense of humor. I love the comment about the dead person still being dead - actually laughed out loud!

    I try my best to maintain my sarcastic wit - so here's what I learned this week:

    ~Do NOT invite your parents for the holidays - they may actually say yes. (Happy Thanksgiving & Merry Christmas!)
    ~Avoid the grocery story when tired - let's just say a big cleanup in aisle 12.
    ~Not all rheumys believe in Lyrica.
    ~Cooking is over-rated. Eating is not.
    ~Sex is over-rated. Sleeping in separate beds is not.
    ~My relatives will never understand my FM-but that's OK.

    And the most important thing I learned this week....

    laughter is the best medicine! Thank you tex!

  6. texangal81

    texangal81 New Member

    If I lose my sense of humor, I will roll over and die. It is what keeps me going during the really bad times. Humorous writing is also my salvation. Maybe I should finally write that book about my chat room experiences years ago. I was 39, I was healthy, I was miserably married and I fell madly in love with a married Aussie man (he was 35). We had quite the time chatting until all hours of the evening on both sides of the world. Since they say that most women hit their sexual peak in their late 30's to early 40's, I'll let you figure out what we chatted about. The title of my best seller?

    Type Dirty to Me.
  7. erica741

    erica741 New Member

    You have a great outlook, with wit and personality!

    Can you write a weekly column on here? "What I have learned this week" is a perfect title!

    Erica :)
  8. jasminetee

    jasminetee Member

    I think your post should be made permanent somewhere on the web so PWC can refer to them easily. You are hilarious and wise.

  9. Pansygirl

    Pansygirl New Member

    I've learned something from reading your post. And I laughed alot which I do need. I like your sense of humor.
    I agree with all your points.
    I'm still in the learning stages so to speak since I've only been sick for 2 1/2 months and I'm learning how to say no when someone calls me for help, and I'm trying to remember not to overdo because I know that if I do to much I'll pay for it dearly.
    Seriously just going to the grocery store did me in today.
    I think another thing that gets me besides everyone trying to tell me how to feel better is when they look at you and say you don't look sick or they say I get tired too...........its not the same thing! I may not look sick but if you were in my body you'd know I am sick.
    On a positive note though my son who is 15 told me to feel better and he also said I love you mom when he left to visit some friends~ made my day. :)
  10. charming

    charming New Member

    Thats so much how I am I work nights as a nurse asst. at a hospital and I go to work sometimes feeling my worst but once I get to moving and doing nurse asst things my mind focus on other ppl pain but when my 8hr shift is over I do nothing else much at home I rest , bathe and maybe cook so I can have lunch I don't go out with friends or family the only time I go out is to grocery shop or pay bills.sometimes my house need cleaning If my kids don't clean up I don't stress it both my 2 oldest kids work so sometimes the house don't get cleaned for 2-3 days but I don't stress it .
    [This Message was Edited on 06/27/2008]
  11. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    Hurray for you. This is great advice and am sure that many people have benefited from your experience.

    What wonderful ideas!!

  12. victoria

    victoria New Member

    I'm looking forward to more of your posts...

    you are SO right and have such a great way of wording it!!!!


  13. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    Hi Texangal -

    So glad to meet you. My family and I had been transplanted to Houston more than 30 years ago. Now, DH is retired and we live in Montgomery,TX close to Conroe (North of Houston). Gee we are almost neighbors (-: !

    I just had to read your post and see where you were from too, in TX.. I loved your post. It were funny but also hit the mark on many of the issues. Thankfully I do not have to work anymore. That would not be pretty or an easy thing for me to do these days.

    I try to keep an "up personality and attitude" as much as possible and keep busy doing what I like to do mostly but as you know cannot always do what you want to do (like cleaning house- I do that slowly and a little at a time). Gt lots of dust bunnies at my house (-: !!

    I agree so much with you about people who do not agree with you on your DD and think they have the cure - just tell them thank you and go on, as you said.

    BTW, you are a young grandma and your grandson is so CUTE !! I have 8 GKids, the oldest 18 and youngest 4.

    Yes, you have learned alot this week. Keep on posting and smiling too (-: !!

    Hugs and blessings,

    [This Message was Edited on 06/28/2008]
  14. marti_zavala

    marti_zavala Member

    I live about 7 miles out of Conroe. We are neighbors.

    I see Dr. Jodi Caldwell and then a bunch of Kelsey Docs.

  15. ironspine

    ironspine New Member

    Amen, sister!