What is Acceptance

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Mtnflower, Sep 11, 2003.

  1. Mtnflower

    Mtnflower New Member

    What is Acceptance?

    How Do We know if we've accepted our illness?

    You no longer focus on the illness 100% of the time. The illness becomes a part of your life and not the main focus.

    You being able to see the need of others again. You begin to remember that other people have troubles also.

    The illness blends in as only a part of your total identity, such as that everyone doesn't know you have it.

    You don't go to great lengths to hide the illness, you absorb the idea of the illness.

    You become a well-rounded person, with interests outside of the illness.

    You are able to accept the illness both intellectually and emotionally.

    Your feelings of bitterness, defensiveness, and anger are relapsed when you no longer see youself as a victim but as an active participant and asssume responsibility for yourself.

    Your fears become more realistic, and not generalized, consuming anxiety.

    There is no room in your life for self-pity.

    You accept the realities of your limitations and ask for help assertively, not aggressively or with apology.

    You are able to see the humor in the situation.

    You set new goals when old ones are no longer realistic.

    You have HOPE

    You see yourself as no different than others: handling your problems well but no martyr or saint.

    You are able to identify with similiarities of others, not just differences.

    You see yourself as a person of value just as you are.

    You learn to listen to yourself and trust your instincts.


  2. sunshine8957

    sunshine8957 New Member

    I just love your name!

    Thank you ever so much for sharing "What is Acceptance"

    I'm going to print it so I can read it on those really bad days. I bet a lot of people will do the same thing. You were very thoughtful to post-it on the boards.

  3. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I have always highly recommended grief counseling to help get through the stages of grieving to acceptance.

    For whomever asked, the steps are denial, anger, bargaining with God, and finally, acceptance. One needn't go through all the stages and progress isn't linear. We can go back and fourth and have one foot in denial and one in acceptance.

    Acceptance doesn't mean we have given up. It just means we no longer have to expend so much energy on things like anger and denial and can use our energy for healing. Getting to acceptance can be a diffucult and long road, but it is definitely worth the journey.

    Love, Mikie
  4. Blond

    Blond New Member

    How long does the acceptance process take???? I'm sure it varies with each person.After reading this,I have realized I have a very long way to go.Just when I THINK I have it all under control,it hits me again or my body lets me know/think at this time IT is in control.I have begged God to take it away,jus let me wake up an for IT to be gone.I also know I will have to "Accept" for me to get any better,some days it is so hard and frustrating.....Thanx for listening,Blond
  5. Missnae1

    Missnae1 New Member

    Thanks you so much for posting "What is acceptance". Words very well written and so meaningful. It WILL help alot of people on this board, me included.

  6. Mtnflower

    Mtnflower New Member


    EZBRUZR New Member

    ....on this path my future allows me to grow closer to me...
    I accept my Destiny..............

  8. Sunshyne1027

    Sunshyne1027 New Member

    Reading this helped alot. Thanks for sharing it. What I got from it is that I have accepted it finally. I sometimes get my foot stuck back in the self pity, denial stage at times, but not as often.

  9. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    You are right; the time frame is different for each of us. Grief therapy can really shorten the time it takes and will benefit you in other ways too. If you cannot afford a therapist, call your local mental health society and see if there is a group which deals in helping the chronically ill to come to acceptance.

    Instead of praying to God to lift this illness, ask Him to help you achieve acceptance. It's OK to pray for a cure, but it's more realistic to take things one step at a time.

    It's also important to do everything we can physically to help us heal. We need a good doc, we need to research our own treatments so we can work well with our docs, we need to make diet changes, we need to try different supplements/meds, we need to exercise even if it's only flexing and stretching, we need to eliminate undue stress in our lives, and we need to engage ourselves in something to take our minds off our illnesses.

    From a spiritual perspective, we need to have faith in God and pray and meditate. There really is a reason for everything. Meeting the challenges in our lives gives us strength and brings us closer to God. Good luck to you.

    Love, Mikie
  10. stillafreemind

    stillafreemind New Member

    This is sooo good. I think everyone can read it and walk away with something from it. I hope everyone will read it!

    For me..this whole thing has been a journey...the last four or five years have been the learning end of the journey. I have actually thanked God for this. It has been in the worst years of this that I have learned the most..about myself, my friends and family, my faith and on and on it goes. I never would have slowed down and thought about these things in such depth..the disease did that for me. Blessings..everywhere..so good to see them instead of being too busy.

    Anyway..thanks again. ..Sherry