What is going on with me and why do I feel like this?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, May 11, 2006.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I struggle with this not feeling good every day of my life and I want to know why and if it is just me?
    I know that we all hae our own unique problems but having fibro and CMP have confused everyone including me. I get told that I am always tiered adn I sleep too much but if I were to just rest my eye's and close my eye lids I would be alseep. Too bad that it only happends during the day and early evening.

    I am keeping a list of things that have bothered me over the years.

    1- Leg aches as a child { stil have them everyday}

    2-I bump into things like walls, chairs, shadows it does not matter where they are I will bump in to them.

    3- When I go out side I am the fist to be attcked by mosquitoes.

    4- sensitive skin
    Hoarse voice that will change over time and I sllur my words when I first wake up and am not really awake yet.

    5-I have itchy dry skin all the time and unknown rashes that will itch til I am going nuts.

    6-mottled skin on my hands and arms, I look blocthey with my red and white skin what is this from and is it harmful?

    7- Swelling on wrist , ankles and knees.

    8- Crave sweets alot OK daily!!!

    9- I have vertical ridges in my finer nails adn my toenails and they peel and break off very easily.

    10- I scar easily , it does not mater how large or small the scratch or insision is I will scar and it will stay purple for a long time after the event.

    11- Unusal reactions to medicatations, can't take the colerstol meds as they make me hurt and ache worse, some pain meds have really strange reactions too. IF anyone will have a strange reactiont to anything it will be ME!

    12- Disturbed sweating, I will sweat so much that just making my bed will cause my face to drip with sweat, walking through a store of even doing minamal house work will cuaswe me to drip and sweat so much that I will have sweat dripping from my forehead adn on to my glasses.

    13- Writing on my skin with my fingernails will leave welts.

    14- Susceptable to infections

    15- Delayed reactions to over activiity

    16- Brusie easily and brusies take time to appear and then last a longer time .

    17- Jumpy muscles. Just as I drift off to sleep I am abrupty awakened by my muscles jumping so HARD taht it is piainfull to me.18- hand hurt when put in cold water. AFter surgery I have taken off the coldpacks because they are painfull. I can't use ice therapy as it just hurts too much .

    18-Hypersensitive to tight. Driving at nights the light fromthe newer cars with the" Halogen headlights cause me intense pain and I can't see" And fluorscents lights hum and it bothers my hearing.

    19- Strips, checks, and other patternes make me feel really dizzy 10- I don't likek the lighhtnign storms as it makes the hairs on my arms stand up and the thunder is loud that I feel it.

    20- Dry Cough, I have had this for years and years.

    I have not finished this list but as you see there are so many things that are bothering me and I don't know wy some do.

    I have days were I am so slepy taht as soon as i haev eaten breaaaakfast and taaaken myh morning meds and have done some laundry, when I sit down to rest because of some fatiique I close my eye's and I am alseep & this can last from a few moments to hours of sleep
    & i will startle so hard when I hear some thing and all of this is intensly painfull to me .

    I feel like my body is so heavy and my pockents that feel like they have been filled with lead. And it hurts me to just move. I am always tired and so sleepy, I am so often so tired that I can't move. EAch day brings on new challenges for me to learn how to cope with and each day I feel so tired aall day long and it gets realy old fast. I know taht this is not normal for someone who is my age {50] it is so hard for me to watch my mother who has more energy tahtn I do and she is in her late 70's.

    AT this time of my life I didn't tink I would be filing for disability. Nor did I feel like I am constantly sleepy and need to rest. This was not the goals I had set up for my life. I wanted to be working as a Nurse or a Dental Assistant and be doing something that gave back to the community I live in . My life has chagned so much from what I thought i wood be doing. I had good strong goals taht were going to support me in my oldage, this in not going to happen as I have had to stop working a few years ago. The life I live now is so different thean the one I had planned for most of my life.

    I have had to learn new ways to do things so that I don't tired as sadsily, as I am a new grandmother I would love to be picking up my grandsonand playing on the floor with thim but as I can't lift him as he wieghs 24 lbs and that is more than i can lift up.

    Yes my plans for my life have changed so much. And they are not what I hadenvisioned for me. But I am finding new way to do things.
    Sorry for this being so long. . I want to be who I once was and I am not that perosn anyhmore. I pray for for the ability to accept what I can do and I thakknk you for all that you do for me.

    Thank you for supporting me when I reamble on like todah. You are so kind to me and i am gratefull for your friendship.
    Love you all,Rosemarie
  2. TxSongBird

    TxSongBird New Member

    Rosemarie I too have Fibro and have suffered with it for about ten years now. I am only 48 years old, but feel 88 sometimes. I too am very clumbsy, hurt all the time, don't sleep at night without med's and then can fall asleep at the drop of a hat during the day. I have had Arthritis, Lupus, MS, Mono, Anemia, cancers ruled out lately by having a complete well check up and tons of blood work. It is very frustrating to say the least when we feel this bad and yet there is no known medication to take this away.

    TxSongBird
  3. erfula1

    erfula1 New Member

    At least you know that you are not alone in this. I am 32 and some days feel 80. On a good day I feel 60. Actually there are a lot of 60 year olds who can run circles around me, no joke.

    I think the hardest thing about this DD is accepting what you can no longer do and discovering what you can still do. It is so hard not to dwell on everything we've lost but life has to go on. I try very hard to focus on the good things in my life and I have to admit sometimes I still get down about it.

    I love horses. I love to ride them, pet them, groom them, train them. Anything with horses. Hubby bought me my dream horse for an early mother's day present and I had an accident on another horse that we got rid of and broke 2 ribs so now I can't ride my new horse. What is bothering me more than that though is that my right knee has started popping and it hurts sooooo bad when it happens. The first time was when I was getting on our other horse that is now hubby's. As soon as I was off the ground and went to swing over it popped and I thought I was going to pass out.

    Now it does it a lot and I am wondering how I am going to be able to get on and off my new horse when he is even taller than hubby's. It even did it when I was getting on the horse that threw me and he was very short. I don't know what I will do if I can't ride again. I can use a bucket to get on him at the house but that isn't practical if I go on trail rides with friends. Hubby said he was gonna make me a rope ladder to attach to the saddle. He's serious too. That will be embarrasing but if it means I still get to ride then everyone will just have to be supportive and not make fun of me.

    Sometimes I feel like my body is my own worst enemy. I just walked around outside looking at honeysuckle with my son and I feel like I've done hard labor all day. I gave up on Drs a long time ago.

    Even at the ER with 2 broken ribs, a severely bruised hip, and a sprained ankle I got a lecture about how I had to be careful with pain killers and not get hooked on them. I told the Dr that was the last thing I wanted. He gave me 20 vicoprofen like it was a gift or something. I still think I either cracked my hip bone or made one of my discs worse cause it doesn't feel right and it has been a week Tuesday. But I don't have any insurance so I can't get it checked.

    Well, sorry to put my pity party in here but like I said it must be a full moon or something. I know that it will get better cause I've been here before. It is just frustrating sometimes.

    I will keep you in my prayers. One more thing, that is another thing. I was in management for 12 years and was very successful in it and then I got hurt at work and things started going down hill. I was so sick and hurting all the time all over even though I originally hurt my back. I kept getting worse and finally got DX'd but by then I had to quit my job or end up getting fired cause I was missing so much work.

    I went through a year of hell. Bad Drs. Bad treatment. Meds that made me worse. I got so sick of it I almost wanted to die. Then one day I said enough and I started coming off all the meds and researching natural medicine. It has worked very well for me up unto this point and even still I am so much better than I was then. In fact this flare is partly my fault cause my ribs were hurting so bad I didn't take my supplements for a few days. Believe me I can feel the difference.

    Anyway I went to truck driving school and God put me in the right job. I can take time off when I need it and they don't hold it against me cause I am an independant contractor driving a company truck. They are a small company but they are growing. The only drawback is that I don't have benefits right now but the owner is hoping to add them by the end of the year. I can take off a week at a time whenever I want to and they send me where I want to go which is mostly southwest.

    There is hope. There is something out there for you. Even if it is doing something at home. Don't give up. Don't give in. That is what I tell myself every day.

    Sorry this was so long.