What is going on with my body? It is so heavy and painful

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Dec 8, 2006.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I don't know just what started this extra pain happening to me. Ok so I do it was my Mom's illness that no one knows just why she was so dizzy.

    But lately my thighs have been throbbing and they feel like they have been weighted with lead . And my pain feels like it is deep in my bones right to the core.

    As I go about my daily work my legs and arms , hands and feet , get so heavy and tired faster than ever. I don't know what is going on with my body.

    I know that in my Dx I have fibro and CMP and I am thinking that it is the CMP that is making this pain sink in to my bone and making my pain be so deep and intense that I can't get the bath water hot enough to sink in to my bones where my pain is at.

    MY knees are sounding like a squesky back door. And they both feel like a rattle when I bend them , talk about ahcing and pain well it is there also. I don't get it. I thought I knew all that my body was going to throw at me but I was really wrong.

    MY body is made of lead and lead condcuts pain or so it seems in my case. I am trying every thing to get this pain undercontrol so that I can start to feel better again , but it is not working.

    I have been told over the years that if there is any condidtion that I could have I would be the one to have the most abnormal reaction to it. This is also true with medications. My body is just abnormal. Having CMP you would think I would have learned to have patience but I don't have any.

    I just have this never ending pain that goes into my thigh and feels like someone has slugged me really hard and my thigh should be tender to the touch but it is not. But I feel like it is. The pain gets so bad that my muscles just thobb with this intense pain and I can't do any thing to help ease this pain. I know that it could be siaticia. AS I have that also.

    I really think that I have fallen apart. And my body is no longer than my own. It is controled by this pain and muscles spasams. AS well as the knots and twisting that my fashia does at it 's own will. I don't have any control over what my body is doing. It is really irratating to me.
    I am so sick of being in pain and not being able to get the pain to ease enough to get some restWhat i would give to have this never ending pian slow down and let me rest soon. I am so tired of hurting and not being able to get the heat into the deep places where my pain is at.
    Sorry about all the whinning.

    I am just to tired of this pain and stuff, I want to go christmas shopping and I know that I can't walk more than 200 ft if that far. And I can't stand in lines as my legs lock up and start to throbb badly so my hubby is going to have to do most of the shopping for me and I hope that he will do it soon and be happy about this holiday that is comming.

    Tonight my youngest daughter and SIL and grandson came to see us for a short visit. Braxton is almost 20 months old and is so smart for his age.

    I was baby sitting a few weeks ago and I had my vidieo camera out trying to tape him rocking the teddy bear sand singing to it . { his song only had one note but it was so cute} But every time I tried to get him to keep rocking the teddy bear he would look at the lense cap.

    He took ahold of it and tried to put it back on the camera, so what you see is his face smiling and then these chubby fingers with the lense cap and then he puts it on and it falls off so once again he tries to keep it hooked to the cameera. It was so cute as I knew he was watching me get it out of the case and take off the lense cap.

    And he knows that it comes off and goes back on but he can't figure it out that you have to push the tiny buttons to get it to lock. The photos are so cute of him trying to put the cap back on. I wish that I could show you all it as he is so cute.

    Tonight he was walking around the house with a push toy and was saying whoo whoo like a choo choo train and then he took this teddy bear and stuffed him into the handle of the toy and would lay on it and kiss it and hug it. He was so cute as he would get going so fast and then suddenly stop before TV and then he would laugh like he was so funny.
    Yes I still ache and feel like I have been ran over by a train and several mack trucks but just watching this little child to night made me feel so much better about me. He does not know that his nanna is in pain and hurts. But he will come up to me and give me a big open mouth kisss and hug me as well.

    He loves me and wil tell me wov u gma. I just think he is the sweetset baby there is. HIs mom was trying to talk when he was on her lap and she moveed her hands and he took the left hand and wrapped it around him self and then took the other arm and put it on his leg.and would hold it there.

    Just how amazing is it that when you are feeling so badly that you are almost in tears and your little grandson will come over and sit on your lap and wrap your arms around him and lay down in the crook of your arm and hum {ONE note}. Tonight he was so cute and just having him here made me forget for a while just how rotten I really feel. How is it that a baby can make you feel so much better?

    Sorry about this mixed up post that i am not sure makes much scense any time soon. I just want you to know that I really care about all of you and thank you for letting me ramble on and on about nothing at all and mixed up things.
    Sorry this is so long.. I will try to not write so mcuh next time.
    Thanks for everything.

  2. bluewing

    bluewing New Member

    And it sounds like that sweet, little grandson is the best medicine for you! But don't forget to check with your doctor if things aren't better after a LOT more rest!
    Hugs back...

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