what the heck am I missing here?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by FMsolider, Sep 20, 2006.

  1. FMsolider

    FMsolider New Member

    I wonder how many of you have ever experienced this...I was a social gathering over the weekend and somehow the converstation turned toward my illness and my mediacations. Then, everyone actually was telling me how lucky I was. I was shocked. I was appaulled. Everyone, was saying how much they wished they had muscle relaxers and pain killers. I explained that my muscle relaxers just make me sleepy - they don't even reeallly help the pain and certainly do not pack a buzz. My darvocet doesn't get me high either and when I forget to eat and it does give me a buzz - it is the ickyest high ever - never fun!! They didn't believe me. The whole I am not a drug seeker - I seek relief would have been a waste of breathe on them. I have never had any fun on my meds. Ever!!! Believe, it would be a blessing and the only bonus to this DD but, it has not ever happened. What am I missing here? Anyone ever feel loopy - in a good way with muscle relaxers ect... I know we are not suppose to really talk about this stuff on this board but, it is wensday and I am still so aggravated thinking about all my friends wanting my meds. to get them high! Anyone else ever deal with this?

    Thanks, for the venting!!
  2. Mini4Me

    Mini4Me New Member

    In the future, maybe it'll be best to let everyone know you're off all your meds. It's not their business and they don't understand where you're coming from, so just lie to them and say you no longer need the meds.

    I had to do this at work when my supervisor wanted to know what the white pills were that my coworkers reported seeing me take. I told him they were asprin and that I was off all meds and then made sure no one ever saw me taking anything! Really, my (your) medical condition is no one else's business!!

    I just don't ever let people know I'm medicated. I tell them about my illness if they ask, but I tell them I get trigger point injections for pain (which I do). I don't tell them about the long acting oxycodone or the soma. They just wouldn't understand, and it's none of their business!

    Best of luck in the future...
  3. Redwillow

    Redwillow New Member

    Hi FMsolider

    I am so sorry you got this weird reaction from your friends.

    It sounds like instead of taking you seriously they turned your illness into some kind of job.

    I have similar reactions when I tell people I can't work and am on disability. Some people think this would be just great to be able to stay home all day and get a check in the mail!

    People like this don't have a clue. You don't owe these people a reply to a stupid comment like that. I used to try and explain but I don't even bother anymore.

    It is a shame that on top of how sick we are we get such negative reactions from the other people in our lives. It adds to the stress and self esteem issues that we deal with everyday.

    hugs Marion (Redwillow)
  4. Greenbean7

    Greenbean7 New Member

    Most people just don't understand what we go through and it's almost impossible to educate them.

    I simply don't tell them what I take unless it is the Inderol I take for high blood pressure or the Lamictal I take for seizures. When I started them they made me really ill for a while. Not fun!

    I take a muscle relaxer at night, it makes me sleep and eases the pain when I lay down. Don't know if it would give me any "buzz" feeling, I'm asleep.

    Never get that feeling from the pain med. Makes me a little sick to my stomach sometimes, but nothing else.

    Sounds like those people who talk about the "buzz" have been taking meds that weren't really needed. That's where addiction starts.


    Stop and smell the puppies!
  5. mindbender

    mindbender New Member

    Thankfully for me I don't keep personal friends. Seriously. I beleive it may be because our bodies absorb all, if any benifit from these drugs. I personaly don't care for drugs, but i would rather be in la la land most of the time as my pain is constant. I'm not good at explaining my circomstances to people, threfore I suffer total misunderstanding also. Perhaps that can be another symptom?
  6. EllenComstock

    EllenComstock New Member

    I am so sorry for the way your friends trivialized your illness and make it sound like a joke and a lot of fun getting high on the meds! Telling you how "lucky" you are really shows how insensitive they are. Are you sure you want them as friends?

    I feel fortunate that I have a FMS doctor who will prescribe morphine for me. It takes away the sharp, shooting pains, but not the dull, achy ones. Nothing has helped that so far. And if we up the dosage too much, then I have problems with nausea and constipation. The first time I took it, I had to make a dash to the bathroom. I still have times I feel queasy and constipated. I have never thought that taking morphine was fun nor have I ever experienced a "high" on it.

    These people sound like a bunch of insensitive jerks. They definitely owe you an apology, but I doubt you will ever get it. If they were real friends, they would at least read a little about FMS and related illnesses to educate themselves. Of course no one can really understand it unless you experience it yourself.


  7. mosherpit

    mosherpit New Member

    People are truly amazing I have decided. I am just getting over a bad sciatic flare and after a couple of weeks of hobbling around at work, one of my co-workers says "you need better pain meds"...I just walked away, but should have said "No I need a fix for the problem not a cover up". No matter how much we explain our pain and problems people don't quite get it. Part of it I think is because it can encompass so many things that people can't focus on all of them so they pick one...

    Any way just wanted to let you know you are not alone in feeling this way about people, but remember those of us with this DD completely understand.

  8. FMsolider

    FMsolider New Member

    Thanks, everybody for your time and comments! I agree that these folks are insenstive and annoying. Maybe it is because my husband and I are the only ones in our group who are married and parents. Perphaps there is a level of inmaturity here, hence, the desired, "high" the seek. But, then again my mother is always concerned about all my drugs and does not believe that muscle relaxers do not get me high. I dunno...people just pick something up somewhere and no matter how you try to educate them - they still hang on to the old beliefs.
  9. luvnewcomb

    luvnewcomb New Member

    I'm so sorry you had to go through this experience. I do have a few friends who know enough about my being sick to know to ask how I'm doing, but - not enough to really get into it.

    When I use my cane, I just tell everyone I'm getting old. My answer is when they ask - I could be much better, but it also could be a heck of a lot worse. Then I change the subject.

    I NEVER discuss meds. I can barely believe it's their business to discuss my illness, so the meds conversation is even more off limits.

    I would feel the same if it were cancer, PD, ALS, epilepsy, etc. Some things are just better kept for VERY, VERY, close friends and even they don't need/nor want to hear everything.

    I hope you have a better time at your next gathering and I'm glad you felt comfortable venting here on the board where we all can feel your pain.

  10. sueliza

    sueliza New Member

    An oncologist told my mom a few years ago that narcotics first fill up your pain receptor sites and only then go to pleasure receptors. So, if you are taking the appropriate amount of narcotic for your pain level you do not get the high.

    She said the chance of chronic pain patients becoming addicted was incredibly low for this reason.

    I am with you - muscle relaxers only send me to bed!

    Let them feel your pain for one day and they won't tell you that you are lucky!!
  11. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member


    I would tell them that I have medication if I need it and they should not pre-judge.

  12. maineweezie

    maineweezie New Member

    Hi FMsolider,

    Sounds like some I've heard of or from in the past. A few years after I was finally "honored" with the DD I had gotten tired of people hearing what they wanted to hear. Hubby gave me some of the best advice when it came to dealing with the questions of " friends?" who asked but may not like the answers. Christmas was coming soon and the "friends had a major type party planned. Hubby suggested that everyone to be there be given a special gift.DD and DS helped us set these up wrapped in Christmas paper,tied with loverly bows,names clearly printed, and Thanks for a good year written too.

    I dressed up fancier than I felt like and Hubby did the same. As we met each person we listened carefully to the "glad you feel better" type hints ,smiled said thank you and hugged ,finally presenting their gifts personally. The Santa in attendance offered to pass them out but that would have hurt the plan. Thank you but no thanks was the best way for him and hug,Merry Christmas here's a special gift for you Santa. As each one openned their present there were many heads skaking but almost everyone too the time to read the
    "Letter to Normals" found on the web.

    Oh it got very quiet from some...yet the true friends thanked us dearly and many made appointments to stop in for coffee to answer their questions. The ones who did that are still around when Hubby or I need help. They often call to check how I'm doing. If I need transport they are there. These are the honest to goodness people who really are our friends...the rest have been urged to take up kite flying....lol

    Don't let them see you sweat.
  13. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    Look the only way they would understand this is if you took them outdoors, ran over them a couple of times on a bike, beat them up a bit, make them drink well over the limit so they get a doozy headache, and kept them awake for several nights, then you could say how lucky they were to have pain meds and muscle relaxers!!!

    They really just cannot or do not want to "get" it. Every time I see my in laws they say, "Oh I thought that was last week you felt sore." I just don't say anything any more.
    All I get is, "Well, yes I feel tired too" or some other comment like that. The one I hate the most is "well you seem to do a lot for someone who is supposed to be in pain." Well, who else is going to do it????

    Vent away you have every right!

    Love ANNE

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